Stranded
by ArtemisArcher83
Summary: Aftermath of Reaper War. Shepard wakes after recovering from injuries sustained from the last push to defeat the Reapers. Normandy has crash-landed on unknown planet. Shepard needs to find her crew and deal with the consequences of choosing to control the Reapers. Fem-Shep/Liara romance. Some Jack/Miranda on the side ;-)
1. Chapter 1

**My first Mass Effect fic and first fic to be uploaded to . Be gentle!  
**

ONE

Air hissed around the contamination seal, the door sliding aside to allow the Normandy's survivors to leave its crippled confides. Ace Alliance pilot, Jeff 'Joker' Moreau limped cautiously towards the dazzling light, emerging after a few steps into the plush greens and calm blues of the area surrounding their crash-site. Internal sensors had confirmed a 97% Earth normal atmosphere, but still the cynical officer took several small experimental breaths before relaxing and leaving the ship.

The azure skinned asari, Dr. T'Soni quietly followed the pilot; a notable sense of confidence in her step born of a century of inquisitive exploration both of her home world, Thessia, and the many planets she'd excavated for Prothean artefacts. Moreover, the last three years of combat on the Normandy and her position as an information broker, had helped Liara develop a gift for sensing danger. There was none here; or at least, not in their immediate vicinity.

"By the Goddess," Liara whispered with feeling. Blue eyes took in the beauty of their surroundings as she moved to stand beside Joker. Their boots touched the edge of a cliff overlooking a bubbling waterfall. In the distance, mountains rose to be embraced by wisps of white cloud.

"Not a bad place to be stranded huh?" Joker leant forward just far enough to see the water churning a hundred feet below, the spray swirling spirals around a myriad of awesome hues. How long had it been since he'd seen a rainbow? Or even been groundside? "EDI will love this …"

Liara felt the break in his voice tug at her own concerns; unconsciously she touched a hand to her stomach. It was too early to lose hope. Jane had always kept her crew safe before. Blue fingers gently squeezed the pilot's shoulder, but it was another voice that spoke the reassurance she struggled to muster.

"Shepard is too damn stubborn to give up now. She won't be satisfied unless she's managed to pull us all through this. I've never known anyone to beat the odds like her." Garrus stood with well-practiced confidence behind and to the right of his worried crew mates. Tali leant unobtrusively against his left side, a hand resting on the arm he'd wrapped loosely around her waist. "Soon as the dust clears they'll be on the next ship they can commandeer. Mark my words."

The youngest of the Quarian Admirals, Tali'Zorah reached out an unoccupied hand to link her three digits with the Asari's five. "We thought it would be a good idea to scan the perimeter to check for possible supplies or indigenous life-forms. Do you want to join us Liara?"

Dr. T'Soni smiled gratefully at her friend and squeezed the Quarian's hand in return before letting it go. Much as she appreciated the gesture, she wasn't in the mood to… how did Jane put it... be a third wheel? "Thank you Tali, but I think I'm going to return to the lab to see if there's anything I can salvage in there. Joker already activated the distress beacon, but I might be able to boost the signal further."

"We should be careful who we attract to our position," Garrus cautioned. "Any pirates in this area?"

"We're only just outside the Sol system; not likely to be any pirates left with all the Reapers that have been hovering around here lately." Joker piped up with his usual rosy outlook. He'd picked up several rocks from the ground and had begun flicking them towards the waterfall. "We probably mowed down most of them in husk form."

Silence but for the patter of tiny rocks hitting large boulders surrounded the quartet for a moment. Despite the years spent on the Normandy Quarian, Turian and Asari still struggled on occasion to identify human humour.

"Well, I guess that settles it then." Garrus turned to his masked companion he withdrew his arm to hold her hand. "Ready?"

Tali nodded; underneath her mask her countenance remained concerned. It felt wrong to be with her friends without the one who had brought them all together to begin with. Silently she prayed to the ancestors that Shepard was still alive, for herself, her friends, but mostly for the century old Asari whose expression reminded her of a lost child. Right now there was nothing more they could say to make their situation seem better. They would just have to wait and see what happened. At present they could make themselves busy to pass the time.

Liara was not at all surprised when Joker followed her back inside the Normandy; neither one of them wanted to be witness to the sense of happy 'togetherness' that settled around Garrus and Tali.

On the ship they weaved through people until behind the galaxy map for some reason they found the elevator out of action.

"Figures," the pilot muttered to himself.

Together they descended the ladder that would take them down to the MESS area. Joker made his way immediately to a chair and lowered himself gently into the seat. Liara didn't get as far as her office before she caught the sound of her name coming from the med bay.

"Ah, Dr. T'Soni, I'm glad I caught you and Jeff." Dr Karin Chakwas strode gracefully, though somewhat sombrely towards them. Though technically younger than her Asari crew mate, the good doctor was closing in on half of her possible 150 year lifespan, which comparatively put her at a similar age to the Asari's parents. Not for the first time she wondered why she was still serving the Alliance. She took a seat next to Joker and gestured for the Asari to do the same.

Liara looked longingly towards her lab for a moment, desiring nothing but solitude at this moment. Around them various crew members continued with their duties, preparing maintenance jobs for the engineers. Taking a deep breath the young woman sat herself opposite their pilot and waited patiently for the doctor to begin.

Joker leant back in his chair; pretending briefly not to have a care in the world; his usual tactlessness evident in his tone. "So, what's the SitRep Doc? We all made it, right?"

Dr. Chakwas shook her head with dismay. "I'm afraid not. Miss. Allers attempted to board the elevator just as we touched down. The carriage shifted on impact… It was tragic, just bad timing."

Soldiers in the vicinity paused for a brief moment to gaze in their direction before quickly moving along. Joker slipped down in his seat, the last spec of effort in his body draining away with those words. Liara knew he would need some space to himself very soon, or it was likely he'd blow up at them. "The rest of the crew?" she enquired softly.

The doctor turned her concerned expression on Liara as she continued. "Daniels detected a power rupture in Engineering as we entered the planet's atmosphere. Adams said she jumped in front of Mr. Donnelly, taking the brunt of the shock. Both are unconscious. Donnelly will live."

"Shit," Joker cursed into his hands.

"There are a few more bumps and bruises, but nothing else I can't fix. All told, I think we got off light." Karin reached a hand across the table to rest it on the pilot's shoulder. "Jeff, you did an amazing job bringing the Normandy down so gently. I think most of the crew is shocked that we're still in one piece."

Joker jerked back sharper than was advisable for his condition, but he seemed far beyond caring. "Tell that to Daniels and Allers." With enormous effort he pushed himself out of his chair and limped off in the direction of the observation deck, muttering darkly to himself as he went, "Tell that to Donnelly when he wakes up."

The two remaining comrades maintained a respectful silence as they spared a thought for the recently departed. Eventually T'Soni shook her head sadly, "He couldn't have done anything else. He shouldn't be blaming himself like this."

"His job is to fly the ship, but there's nothing he can do about circuitry or maintenance. The energy wave that hit us caused some unexpected spikes in the ship's systems. No one could have predicted what happened. It's to the crew's credit that there were so few casualties," the human doctor explained needlessly. "I'm sure you can sympathise. Did you not feel like you should have been able to do more to save Thessia?"

Liara frowned at the memory of her home planet's capture by the Reapers, thanks to Cerberus's interference. Shepard had tried in vain to reassure her that they'd done everything they could with what they'd known at the time, but secretly the Shadow Broker in her had been incensed that they hadn't known more about the Illusive Man's movements. It was her job for Goddess' sake. She'd kept those thoughts from the Commander. Jane had been burdened with her own sense of guilt from that failed mission.

_Will we ever be able to show our daughter the home world? _She thought sadly. "Yes, of course; I understand. It's never enough when lives are lost. Shepard feels the same every day. She always… she…" T'Soni stumbled over the words, a lump of emotion building in her throat.

"… Is the reason any of us have a future. She's a galactic hero." Dr. Chakwas found herself reaching out again with a comforting hand on the shoulder, calmly letting Liara know that she didn't have to struggle with the words.

Liara closed her eyes briefly, letting her thoughts drift from her absent lover. "Thank you doctor," she stood gracefully, but with purpose, needing to get away to be alone with her thoughts.

Before the young biotic could make her escape however Chakwas stopped her again, a serious but apologetic look on her face. "Liara, I know you're having a hard time right now, worrying about the consequences of Shepard using the Crucible. I'm sure you'd rather just be left alone, but I have something I must discuss with you. The Commander asked me to pass orders on to you, in the event we ended up in a situation such as the one we're stuck in now." She paused to gage the Asari's reaction.

"What orders?" Liara asked in confusion.

The doctor waved an inactive portable console in her hand and gestured towards T'Soni's quarters. "Could we discuss this in your office?"

Resigning herself to the task, Liara pushed all thoughts of rest to the back of her mind and led the doctor into her lab.

The reinforced conduits and anchoring around her equipment had prevented any units from coming loose and crashing around, which meant the room was one of the few to remain intact after the crash. A few knick-knacks lay scattered around, including a holo-image of the Asari and her lover having dinner shortly after saving the Citadel from Saren and Sovereign. The entire crew had been given brief shore leave and Tali had been thoughtful enough to preserve the moment on her omni-tool, presenting the frame to Liara and Shepard the day she began her journey back to the Flotila. Liara had been holding it when Joker's voice came over the COMM warning the crew of the energy wave; it must have fallen off the bed on impact with the planet's surface.

There were no chairs in the room and the Asari didn't feel comfortable offering the doctor a seat on the bed so she stood just inside the doorway, folding her arms as she waited to hear whatever last message Shepard had left her with. She furiously hoped it wasn't a last goodbye.

"Liara, I don't know how much you know about the chain of command on this ship. For instance, who the XO is?"

Frowning Liara though for a second, "If Ashley were here, I'd have said her. In her absence I would guess you, Joker or possibly Samantha Traynor."

"Yes, those would seem like the next best choices. However, in this case Our CO left standing orders to turn command over to you Dr. T'Soni."

"Me!?" T'Soni's voice hit a rarely used note as the sudden shock shot through her.

Karin winced slightly at the high pitched outburst; _I'm going to kill Shepard for this_ she thought to herself. While the Commander had explained her reasons for putting Liara in charge, she was still hesitant about the Asari's ability to effectively lead the mix of alien and Alliance soldiers. How many would assume that Liara's new found position was due to her romantic relationship with their missing CO?

Liara it seemed was having similar concerns.

"I'm not military; I don't know the first thing about leading a group of soldiers," her thoughts were reeling, wondering what in Athame's name Shepard had been thinking when she left these orders.

Chakwas sighed in sympathy. "Liara, I can't pretend to understand the Commander's reasons, but if it counts for anything I want you to know that I trust you. You'll lead us right." She handed the Asari the data-pad and stepped towards the door. "If you want my advice at all, my door is always open." With that she left the lithe biotic to her thoughts, making her way back to the med bay.

Liara closed her eyes for a brief time; attempting to gather her wits for whatever lay in the report she'd been handed. Again she hoped desperately that it didn't contain any parting sorrows. With immense effort she activated the screen and began to read…

Liara,

If you are reading this, then I know that the Reapers have been defeated and I thank whichever deity is listening that you are still alive.

By now I expect you're damning me for leaving you in this position. I asked Dr. Chakwas to give you the basics before letting you read this… so here goes…

Firstly I want you to know that you don't have to agree to be in command. You aren't Alliance and don't have to follow my orders, I'm just hoping that you will at least consider them.

No one knows what will happened when we fire up the Crucible, but I've been looking at all possible scenarios where the Normandy might be unable to contact other Alliance or Allied ships; a pirate attack, system failure, special anomaly, etc. The more I think about it, the crazier I make myself worrying about yours and the crew's safety. With what little time I have left before the main assault I've tried to come up with some sort of back up. I have left similar messages for Garrus, Tali, and a couple of others in the event that you don't… well; you're reading this, so that hasn't happened.

The crew know how to do their jobs, but I know there may come a time when things outside of the ship affect all of your lives and that's where they'll need you. I trust you to make the hard decisions Liara. You have a good heart but you have enough experience to know when you're being conned and I know you'll do what's best for everyone.

For the most part I imagine that the running of the ship will continue as normal. If you're up for this just let Dr. Chakwas know and everyone will received a memo telling them that any command decisions are to go through you. Just be yourself; show them what makes you formidable and they'll listen to you.

I hate putting you in this position; I hope you won't need to worry about this. I hope that whatever made Chakwas give you this is easy compared to what we've dealt with these last few years. No matter what, I know you'll do your best to keep everyone safe. Including yourself.

I promised you I'd come back to you; that I wouldn't leave you again like after the Collector attack. You and those little blue babies are what keep me going every day; I won't let the Reapers take that from us, no matter how small the odds. I will be with you soon, love. Just hold on.

x _**J**_ x

Liara chocked back a sob she hadn't realised she'd been holding on to, but it was no use. Her knees buckled and the muscles in her legs suddenly became as useful to stand on as wet paper. Thankfully during her reading she'd wandered over to the bed and was able to sink down onto it as she wrapped her arms around herself and gave into her grief.

How could Shepard be alive after the Relay exploded like that? That power had to have come from the Crucible, for all she knew, the giant weapon had succumbed to the same fate. Behind the sorrow and loss the young scientist was angry beyond anything she'd ever felt before. How dare Shepard do this to her again! How could the Commander ask her to have hope after all that she'd seen? Believing that they had a chance at a future together, to be a family; it would just be prolonging the agony.

Damn the Reapers! Why couldn't it have all stopped with Saren and the Geth? So many lives, so many families destroyed. What was the point to it all? Resources? Were sentient, space faring species no better than cattle or crops? Why was war always the answer?

War. Even before the Reapers. Rachni, Krogan, Geth, Turians and Humans, Yhag, Cerberus, mercenaries, pirates, assassins… so much death.

Liara clutched at the data-pad as she fell into a sombre and fitful sleep. She had not slept since waking up next to Jane almost 48 hours ago. Before that, weeks of searching frantically for anything that would give the Commander an edge, some information on Cerberus so they could finally take them down. Before that, restless digging into the Mars archives for the weapon that was their only hope against the oncoming hoard. Before that, Hagalaz; sinking slowly into data, impersonal, logical, factual; avoiding the lure of Jane's pleas. Before that, revenge; cold fury, focussed intent to rescue a friend. Before that…

Emptiness. Darkness. A void that only her dead lover could fill. Two years to harden her heart against emotion; a weakness that a rising information broker could ill afford.

Too long since her mind and body had both been at ease.


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Thought I'd updated this story a couple of days ago, but guess I'm still getting to grips with FF's interface! Can see that there have been some follows and faves, so I have to assume that you like what I've started with. Thanks to JrBenson and Zizania for the reviews ;-) **

**Just a little bit about my stories... I like happy endings. That being said, I also like tension and build up, so hopefully there will be a fair few chapters to come before I reach a conclusion... of sorts. I've written a few chapters in advance so will be updating regularly for a few weeks, but as I haven't finished yet I can't guarantee that I won't be reviewing earlier chapters to keep continuity as clean as possible.**

**Right now I plan on leaving this story on a 'semi cliff-hanger', so expect there to be some unanswered questions at the end. However I am entertaining the idea of a sequel. All will depend on my muse!**

**Enough of me droning on... hope you enjoy the next couple of chapters.**

TWO

Shapes, colours, voices; everything passed by in blurred sequence making little to no sense. Shepard knew she wasn't conscious, her surroundings were too disjointed to be real, but she felt her awareness slowly beginning to sharpen. Her legs moved without command, their destination instinctual and after a dozen or so steps Shepard began to recognise her surroundings.

"This looks like… Therum," she muttered to herself, puzzled. Why was she here? Could it be… Was Liara here too?

No sooner had the thought entered her mind when her sharp hearing caught a familiar voice on the wind. _"Can you hear me out there? I'm trapped; I need help…"_

Excitement, anxiety, anticipation all flooded through her in quick succession. Her legs stopped moving and once again her vision darkened. The scenery shifted rapidly around the Commander making her dizzy and nauseated. When the shifting stopped she was in an elevator, but a quick look at her surroundings told her she was no longer on Therum.

"Noveria? Christ, what the hell is happening?" With conscious thought this time she stepped forward, hands reaching for purchase on a nearby rail.

"_I imagine you want to talk to me Shepard, about my mother…"_

"Liara?" Shepard stumbled, legs weak now, like they were damaged and hadn't been used in days. "Liara!?"

"She is not here Commander Shepard."

Walls blurred again, spinning until Jane found herself on her hands and knees, head pressed into the cold metal floor, willing the images to stop moving. 'That voice. I know that voice.'

"You must… listen to me."

Familiar and desperate, the voice spoke of pain and suffering. The Commander lifted her head, slowly settling her gaze on the Asari Matriarch. "Benezia? Where's Liara?" She asked pleadingly.

The figure before her winced, fighting an invisible force. "… must listen. My Little Wing… losing the will to fly."

Shepard shook her head, her mind fogged with images from her memory, all trying to 'correct' the vision before her. "I don't understand," she groaned through clenched teeth.

"Her heart grows colder… hopes and dreams… fade."

*Flash*

Liara touches her forehead, words spilling unbidden from her mouth, stumbling over her tongue as the Commander looks on in mild amusement.

*Flash*

Eyes black. Minds and bodies move as one. Shepard cradles her lover's body with tender loving care.

*Flash*

Liara bangs her fists ineffectually against the escape pod's port-hole. Tears stream down her cheeks, her voice silent in the vacuum of space.

*Flash*

A child comforts her mother; sea green eyes brimming with unshed tears; the date shows Shepard's birthday, ten years after the end of the war.

*Flash*

Benezia glares at her. The pain in her eyes is deeper than before; the pain of a mother for her child.

"She gave herself to you. Heart, body and soul… You promised to return to her."

The spinning had stopped, replaced by throbbing pain that lanced white hot through her mind.

"I promised," Shepard repeated, remembering clearly now her conversation with Liara after the young Asari became the new Shadow Broker.

"Then you must… return to her." Benezia glowed with biotic power, her hands spread wide with deadly intent. "It is time to wake up Commander."

Arcs of blue biotic power shot through the battle hardened soldier, lifting her high above the Matriarch's head before slamming her through a wall. Darkness engulfed her, the images disappearing into an abyss. Slowly she began to feel her consciousness returning to reality, somehow knowing that the pounding along her temples was the only part of her dream that was real. Photo-sensitive cells recognised the light filtering through her closed eye-lids and the sharp pain that followed told her it was too bright. She wanted to turn away from the source, but couldn't remember how to move her head.

"I think she's waking up."

Shepard reacted to the new voice, her muscles reminding her suddenly how to turn toward a stimulus. Sensations rushed through her nervous system, prodding numerous memories which flooded through her now conscious mind. The Reapers, Cerberus, the Catalyst. She had chosen to do what the Illusive Man could not, to control the Reapers. She could still recall the heat, like fire engulfing her skin as she struggled to hold on. How was it she was still alive?

"Commander?"

'_Is that…Miranda?'_ Shepard tried in vain to open her eyes.

"Commander Shepard, can you hear me?" The ex-Cerberus officer's voice held a note of desperation and concern.

"It's no use Princess, Shepard's gonna lie back and let us finish all the hard work first. Shit, not that I blame her. Must have hurt like a bitch, whatever the hell that machine was doing to her."

'_Jack too? Damn, why can't I move faster?'_ Her head felt heavier than ever, but she managed with great effort to turn it toward the other voice.

Miranda sighed, exasperated. "Jack, could you for once just try to say something positive?"

"Like what? How everythin's sunshine and daisies since she did her hero bit? We still have a few dozen big ass machines hangin' in space just waitin' for the next opportunity to crush us like bugs. I say we nuke the fuckers before it's too late."

The Commander managed to open her mouth to speak, but only succeeded in croaking through the dryness in her throat. She tried opening her eyes instead; her attempt bringing nothing but artificial brightness and more pain.

"She is waking up," Miranda's voice lifted with carefully controlled excitement. "Go and fetch a doctor."

Jack huffed, crossing her arms over her chest. "Do I look like a dog to you, or a slave?"

Jane opened her eyes a fraction more, focussing enough to catch the genetically engineered woman rolling her eyes.

"I could buy you a collar and chain if you'd like to make it official," she suggested with a hint of something that the Commander wasn't sure she was supposed to be privy to.

'_Are they… flirting?'_

"Kinky," the ex-convict shot back with a grin as she left the room.

What felt like many hours later, following medical exams, probes, needles and a stream of officials popping by to update, congratulate and wish her a speedy recovery; Commander Shepard had a moment to reflect as she sat on her hospital bed, propped up by many pillows.

Jack had only stayed long enough to tell her to stop lazing around and get her ass moving, though the order was softened somewhat by the grin she couldn't seem to contain. Miranda was kind enough to fill in some of the gaps for her, informing her that per her orders Jack's kids had not seen any front line action and with only a few really serious injuries they were all going to pull through. Not that the biotic trainees had slouched through the fighting; many soldiers had escaped fatal hits thanks to their barriers. Jack was practically skipping she was so giddy. There were definitely new tattoos to be had from their victory.

Shepard couldn't help but feel good about the news, but the smile she held was short lived as Miranda began listing the casualties.

Admiral Anderson was found dead on the scene when rescue teams moved onto the Citadel and Crucible. Grunt and Javik had both taken direct hits from a Reaper, though it hadn't stopped the tank-grown Krogan from taking down a Brute and half a dozen Marauders before his body finally stopped functioning. Jacob's body had been uncovered from amongst the rubble with Kasumi's uncloaked corpse only a foot or two away. The list just kept getting longer.

And those were the ones they had bodies for. Many more were MIA; Cortez, Dr. Michel who had been evacuated from the Citadel and had given herself as a field medic, Ash and James Vega.

The Commander listened stoically, eyes closed, to the names; anxiously waiting for and cringing when she heard those from her own squad. When Miranda came to a stop she opened her eyes and frowned at the former Cerberus officer.

"What of the Normandy?" she rasped desperately; her throat still sore.

Miranda ducked her head; she had known this was coming. "We don't know yet Shepard. The fleet reports seeing it in the middle of the fight, weaving around the Reapers like it was in some bizarre ballet, but nothing of where it went when that energy wave hit. Knowing Joker, he probably tried to outrun it."

Shepard nodded, trying to picture it herself. "Do we know who was on board?"

"I can get you a crew roster if you'd like. As far as I know Liara returned to the Normandy before you advanced," she offered with a knowing look.

Jane shot Miranda a thankful glance, but didn't linger on the topic. The day's physical and emotional upheaval was beginning to take its toll and she knew she needed to sleep soon. "Keep doing what you can to find out where the Normandy is, or at least in which direction to start looking." Shepard missed the amused raising of a perfect eyebrow as she automatically began issuing orders. "I need to talk to Hackett; check in with the fleets. I'm not sure what to do with the Reapers yet, I'd like to get a closer look and see if there's any way to communicate. I really need to know when I can get out of here."

Lawson put a hand on the Commander's shoulder and squeezed lightly. "I spent two years rebuilding this body. You'd better take care of it Commander."

It was Shepard's turn to look amused now. "Or what? You'll tell your girlfriend?" She grinned remorselessly at the sudden note of panic in her friend's eyes.

"What? How…?" Miranda sighed, reigning in her emotions. Jack was still a topic of some confusion in her own mind; she wasn't yet sure how she was supposed to explain it to anyone else. "How long were you eavesdropping?"

"I think the word you're looking for is 'overhear'. I don't think I can be accused of eavesdropping when I couldn't even move." She shimmied down into the hospital bed a little more and dropped her head back into the pillows. She reached out to find the hand that had been resting on her shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze. "Are you happy?"

The slender brunette sighed as though studying the topic was painful. "We bicker and argue about how insane we are to think we'd be good together. We have nothing in common. I tried to take her out to a restaurant once; she stuck out like a sore thumb and obviously didn't want to be there. We left when she started threatening the waiter for ogling me." Miranda shook her head at the memory. "It shouldn't work."

"But?"

Miranda smiled genuinely. "When she kisses me, none of that matters. I'm not my father's failed experiment, or an ex-Cerberus operative. I'm imperfect and insecure, but it's ok because she wants me, and God help me I want her too."

The Commander smiled in support of what was clearly a complicated issue for other woman. She could feel her concentration slipping with the need to rest, but wanted to offer as much support as she could. "Is it enough?" she enquired curiously.

"I don't know. For now it's enough. I guess we'll just have to see where it goes."

"There's nothing to say that couples have to do everything together. You're both very independent. Neither of you strikes me as the type to be tied down… Emotionally at least." She grinned at Miranda's almost blush. "You could be perfect for each other."

Lawson cocked her head in thought, chewing on the Commander's words; even half delirious the woman could speak sense. Maybe it was that simple. Had they been too focussed on what constituted a conventional relationship to really consider what would work for them? "You might have a point there Shepard."

"Of course I do," Jane yawned, her eyes shut as she listened to her friend. "I'm full of points."

"Get some rest Commander. I'll have a report ready for you when you wake up."

* * *

Shepard collected helmet and gauntlets after fixing her greaves in place. Reluctantly she'd let her second help her dress in her battle gear, fervently ignoring the teasing innuendos from Miranda's biotic lover. She knew she was pushing her body's limits, but lying in bed while her ship, crew and partner were still lost to the galaxy was more than she could bear. Besides, so long as she could stand and walk, getting out and about would kick the stiffness out of her muscles and help her heal faster, right?

The war might have been over, but the information she'd gleaned over the past three days in hospital had painted a fairly dire picture. All allied fleets were stuck in the Sol system without the Mass Relay up and running; outside communication was non-existent; the static Reapers ominous loitering was causing low level panic and authorities were furiously trying to shield the public from threats of starvation. There were many mouths to feed and Earth was not the self-sustaining planet it used to be.

The Crucible Child had told her that her choice would give her power to control the Reapers. At the time the Commander had understood that her essence would be given in sacrifice to take that control, thus killing her for a second time; a choice that had gone against every fibre of her being.

Besides breaking her promise to Liara, who was she to hold that kind of power over another sentient being? Destroying them completely went against her nature, with so much destruction already plaguing the galaxy they could be useful in helping to rebuild. She could rebuild Earth, Palaven… Thessia… Rannoch.

Synthesis though? With limited time to consider the full ramifications of combining all synthetic and organic life, Jane was reluctant to press the button that would instantly evolve all life in the galaxy.

Control seemed like the best option. Perhaps with more time to think she would have decided differently. Even now, with hindsight, she was beginning to question her choice. But the choice had been made and it was one she apparently was going to be allowed to live with. In light of all that had happened, perhaps it wasn't such a bad thing.

Before she could really buy into _that _conclusion though, she needed to test out this whole business of controlling a Reaper. As soon as she could walk without passing out Shepard had discharged herself and taken the first military shuttle she could find off world.

"Shepard, you shouldn't be doing this alone," Miranda cautioned for the thousandth time since leaving the hospital. "We have no way of knowing what's in there, or if the Reaper consciousness is intact…"

"Which is why I **am** going alone. I need you guys on the outside." The steely determination in her voice said she wasn't going to budge.

Miranda huffed and continued to grumble to herself as the Commander checked her pistols. She'd planned to go low profile with the weapons; if the thing did still have a consciousness then she didn't want to appear overly hostile.

Jack was slouched on one of the benches, her feet propped up by the opposite wall while she played with a rocket launcher. "Still think you're an idiot not to take a big fucking bomb in there. If it is aware it should know that it pissed you off big time; if not..." she shrugged nonchalantly, and then grinned as she added, "Well why the fuck not? Blowing shit up is always fun."

Miranda scowled, still fussing over the Commander's armour. Shepard though couldn't help but grin along with the ex-convict. "I'll consider that as a last resort," she added with a chuckle.

The one time Cerberus officer half listened as the Commander and Jack argued about the best explosives, all the while going over and over worst case scenarios in her head. She knew Shepard had good reason for wanting this to be a solo mission, but old habits die hard and it didn't feel right letting her CO go into unknown territory without backup. Miranda checked and rechecked the equipment she'd insisted on using to monitor the Commander's progress inside the Reaper, including an on board head camera so they could keep an eye out for danger. It was all she'd been allowed to do. It would have to suffice.

A tapping from the cockpit drew their attention and all three turned to watch their destination loom larger and larger in the window until only a portion of the Reaper was visible.

When it appeared that the monstrosity was ten times their size there was a collective gasp from inside the shuttle. Directly opposite to their trajectory a small hatch had opened and what looked distinctly like a landing pad slid silently out to await their arrival.

"Guess they're rolling out the welcome mat," Shepard quipped, breaking the sudden apprehensive tension.

"There goes your element of surprise," Jack observed, most of the joking tone having disappeared. Her body tingled with biotic potential, ready to fight whatever came out of that hole.

"Jack, relax." Shepard touched the other woman's shoulder in what she hoped was a calming gesture. "I intended to enter in plain view anyway; this doesn't change anything, except perhaps wasting less time trying to find an entrance."

Jack shrugged off the gentle touch and continued to stare pensively at the colossus machine. "Whatever Shepard; it's your show, do what you like. Why should I care if you get your head blown off?"

Jane shook her head with a wry smile, but it soon faded as she came to face Miranda. It was easier to deal with Jack's concern since she always made such an effort to pretend that she wasn't concerned at all, but the lithe brunette was more open with her feelings since their time together on the Normandy SR2, and Jane could almost read her like a book. Now wasn't the time to make light of the situation, not if she ever wanted to hear the end of it

There were no more words between them as Miranda helped Shepard on with her helmet and shoved her lightly towards the exit hatch. She had made her feelings clear, now it was up to the Commander to pull off this stunt and set the galaxy moving again.

Their pilot set the shuttle down smoothly on the extended landing pad and the hatch swished open almost immediately. Shepard's boots hit the ground with a metallic thud and without a backwards glance she strolled with practiced confidence into the dim confides of the Reaper underbelly.

There was a strange feeling of familiarity that surrounded the Commander as she navigated the maze of twists and turns. Unlike the last time, there was no ominous sense of danger around each corner. In fact, the further she progressed, the more comfortable she felt; sort of like coming home.

Instinctively following her nose, Jane swiftly arrived at her destination. It wasn't like any area she'd visited before on a Reaper; it didn't have that intimidating feel of death about it. Being fairly empty of anything really interesting Shepard found her attention immediately taken up by a small podium. Without hesitation she planted her feet firmly in the centre and gripped the rail; tactile contact seemed suddenly very important; the response was instant.

"Awaiting instructions."

The deep mechanical voice was so disturbingly familiar that for a moment Shepard lost the pleasant tranquillity that she'd begun to rely on. Harbinger. Her insides twisted in fury at the memory of the pain she'd been witness to.

"What is your purpose?" She began, using the mental list she'd compiled from suggestions of her friends and superiors. Number one on most people's list was this one.

"No purpose has been given," the emotionless reply came.

Shepard's eyebrow rose, but she carefully kept a lid on the hope that bubbled inside her. "What was your purpose; why did you leave dark space?"

"Organics are self-destructive if not cultivated. Ensuring continued existence was our purpose."

Anger flooded her once more, "By executing all space faring species; by _pruning_ us!?"

"All other options were tested. Results were negligible … _Pruning_ was deemed effective."

Shepard gripped the rail harder, her head bowed as she took several deep breaths. There was still no emotion to the Reaper's 'voice', even Legion with his monotone had been more expressive. Logically she knew there was no point in being angry with it, but it was just so difficult when she felt incensed by the idea that they were all just livestock to be corralled and slaughtered. Eventually she felt her anger receding and managed to lift her head.

In her mind Shepard quickly went over their conversation so far. She thought carefully about her next question. "Who do you take 'instruction' from now?"

"The one you think of as 'Star Child' has given you active control over us, Commander Shepard. We await your instructions."

"How do you feel about that?" Shepard queried curiously before she could stop herself. There was a brief pause and the Commander's past experience with AI let her know that her question had confused it.

"We do not have enough relevant date to answer that question."

Jane took a moment to consider a way to reword her thoughts; what did she really want to know? "Every time I've encountered one of your kind I sensed a great amount of antipathy towards organics. Both Sovereign and Harbinger spouted their thoughts like they were deeply held beliefs. Yet you appear to have no concern whatsoever over losing this war." She paused briefly to organise her thoughts. "Are you capable of feeling emotion?" She enquired after another contemplative pause.

"We are capable of emulating the emotion of our controller."

This conversation was becoming more and more interesting as the minutes ticked by. The Reaper's answers were only sparking further questions for Shepard. "So your controller is the one who sought to destroy us," she reasoned out loud. "Will you be emulating my emotions?"

Again there was silence. Eventually the monotone voice returned. "We have insufficient data to accurately answer that question."

"I guess we'll wait and see then."

It took some time, but Shepard eventually got through all her questions with corresponding answers, which for the most part were satisfactory. The fleet would be pleased.

The Reapers had retained the knowledge of dark matter, the inner workings of the mass relays and were equipped with communication technology that spanned across numerous star systems. They were ready to begin rebuilding as soon as Shepard gave the go ahead.

Realising that she should return to the ship very soon, Shepard had one final inquiry. "Would you be able to search for a distress signal or com traffic from any ship in this system?"

"We can scan all systems for specified signals."

Shepard grinned. "See if you can pick up anything from my ship, The Normandy SR2."

"Proceeding…" It took all of five seconds before an answer came back, "Vessel located; Local Cluster."

Jane's heart leapt, her chest filling with the hope she'd been suppressing. "Download co-ordinates into my omni-tool." She waited a few seconds, watching the familiar swirling of GUI disks attached to her arm until there came a familiar beep to signal completion. With that Shepard gave her final instructions and at long last released her hold on the rail in front of her. It was time to return to the shuttle.

In the weeks, months… possibly years to come, the emphasis would be on rebuilding what had been lost to the Reaper invasion. Though lives could not be replaced the same way that buildings could, the Commander was optimistic that the galactic future that lay ahead was brighter than any of them could have hoped for just a few short days ago.

* * *

Jack's stance was deceptively relaxed, her shoulder propping the rest of her body up against the open hatch of the small shuttle. The look in her eyes though was anything but. Shepard had been gone half an hour, and while the ex-convict loitered with intent, Miranda kept a close eye on the Commander's vitals.

For the most part she had ignored the impatient and frustrated sighs that came from her fellow biotic, but as nothing untoward appeared to be happening she let her attention drift a little.

Eyes floated over to rest on a set of stiff shoulders; the skin liberally covered by ink in various shapes and forms.

When she had first laid eyes on the young convict on the prison ship Purgatory, the then Cerberus officer had not been impressed. As a point of fact, the first thing she'd done on returning to the Normandy was to recommend to the Illusive Man that they drop Jack off on the nearest planet, habitable or not. _Thank God he didn't listen to me, _she thought with relief.

With frequent glances at the console, Miranda continued to observe her companion, beginning to puzzle again over the intense magnetic force that had grown between them.

Feeling the gaze on her back again, Jack turned lazily toward Miranda, smirking at the mixture of confusion and desire that was directed her way. "See something you like Princess?"

Miranda blushed and averted her gaze. "You should probably stop calling me that. People might start to think you actually like me."

Jack let her weapon hang limply by her side and stepped forward so she was standing directly behind the other brunette. "I don't like anybody," the walking canvas responded unconvincingly.

Miranda snorted with barely contained derision. "Sure you don't," she drawled, turning to face Jack and capturing warm brown eyes. "'Cause you're a hard arse who doesn't need anyone."

Chocolate orbs narrowed menacingly, while an empty hand circled the operative's waist and tugged her forward. "Don't you forget it."

Miranda's mouth was much too busy then to help her with a retort; not that she really cared while Jack's tongue danced a familiar flamenco with her own. In the back of her mind she was aware that the monitors needed checking again, but the only attention she paid to it was a semi-conscious awareness of the solid surface pressing into her back, while the flamenco slowed to a sensual waltz.

Jack's rough edges pressed closer around her curves. Life and death situations had a habit of riling Jack into a frenzy of hormones and Miranda considered herself fortunate to be on the receiving end of that stress relief.

Long, strong fingers were in her hair, tugging to expose her neck as Jack's ministrations moved south. A swirling tongue at the hollow of her throat drew a small whimper causing Miranda's grip to tighten on slim shoulders as Jack lifted the operative's leg to slide closer between them.

The air crackled with biotic tension, but before either woman could make a move to continue they heard a loud throat clearing and none too subtle sniggering from the open hatch.

Jack growled with frustration, the shotgun she'd abandoned in favour of Miranda's delectable back side was back in her hand. She turned to give the source of their interruption a piece of her mind.

"Having fun?" The Commander asked with exaggerated innocence, her hands held up in mock surrender.

"Fuck you Shepard."

Jane clutched her chest as if she'd been shot. "You wound me with your words yet again."

Jack made a noise like a pissed off grizzly and lunged for the still laughing Commander. She was half way there but was quickly stopped by an elegant hand on her wrist. Miranda's brief discomfort at being caught making out while she was supposed to be monitoring her CO's vitals had passed. The Commander was unharmed and appeared to be in good spirits, which could only mean that she had good news.

"What did you discover Commander?" She asked, getting straight to the point.

Jane smiled inwardly, seeing her former XO's hand rest unconsciously on the volatile biotic's lower back, a thumb rubbing in small comforting circles. One glance at Jack's face and she knew the gesture wasn't going unnoticed. The anger and frustration that had blazed from Jack's eyes moments before now looked confused and uncertain. Jane filed this away to discuss with the young woman at a later date.

"They can rebuild the relays, though their advice is that they remain broken. They're sure that organics will survive longer without the knowledge and use of more advanced technologies." Shepard shrugged with forced nonchalance. "I aim to prove them wrong."

Shepard stowed her weapons and gave instructions to their pilot to shut the hatch and punch in the co-ordinates for the mass relay. There was a collective gasp as with less than a kilometer between them, the giant AI powered up and began tailing them.

Miranda turned to the Commander and immediately noticed the twinkle of amusement dancing in her sea green eyes. Seconds passed before the Commander's communicator began blinking furiously, demanding her attention.

Jack sniggered to herself as Shepard explained to her superiors and the other fleet commanders what was happening, all the while looking like the cat that ate the canary. Damn but Shepard had balls to pull a stunt like that. Though it was about time someone decided to have some fun with those stuffy admirals.


	3. Chapter 3

THREE

Each morning there had been scouting parties sent out to look for resources and signs of other sentient life. Earlier that day Tali had volunteered her services. She didn't claim to be much of an expert in finding game or edible plant life, but the party from the day before thought they'd detected a communication signal 5km to the west of their camp. They were all curious to know what it was. With all but the Normandy's distress signal undergoing repairs Liara had agreed that they should check it out, leaving Garrus to oversee the security of the ship.

Liara was mildly surprised that though Tali had spent the majority of her life on one ship or another, she actually seemed rather more comfortable on land. The longer they were groundside, the more cheerful her attitude became.

For the first 4 ½ km Tali, Liara and a small compliment of security officers had been chatting sporadically. As they closed in on 5km however all verbal communication came slowly to a stop.

The young Asari glanced around at their location, feeling eyes on her all of a sudden. Was it caution or paranoia? As nothing immediately jumped out at them she turned back to her friend. "Tali?" T'Soni asked in a hushed tone, her eyes flicking toward the Quarian's omni-tool.

The young admiral's three digits flew over the graphic interface. "There is something," she hit a few buttons and a holographic projection popped out to show the team a flickering image of large factory sized shadows blighting the terrain. "But whatever it is, the signal's tightly encrypted." She pushed a few commands before looking up at her companions. "The fact that we've picked it up at all must mean that it's degrading. Also, it is a short range communication; I would estimate at around 2-3km."

"That's FUBAR ma'am," one of the soldiers grumbled. Tali and Liara exchanged a look and offered him a confused glance. He smiled and almost blushed. "Sorry ma'am, I mean that it's ridiculous for a facility that large to only communicate at a 3km radius. What sort of a place needs that level of security?"

"And what sort of place needs an entire planet to operate from?" Another soldier piped up.

"You're suggesting that this planet is not uninhabited by accident," Liara thought out loud. "We may be close to finding out why this planet hasn't been colonised."

"Shall we push on ma'am?" Corporal Lewis asked eagerly.

Tali looked ready to move on, but Liara hesitated. Their escorts were well equipped and trained, but they weren't the elite warriors that Jane normally had for back up, and while she and Tali were now quite accustomed to being shot at from all angles, they were only two; Shepard's standard operating procedure was a team of three. Garrus could bring them up to three; Traynor, a skilled techie, would give them four; without Shepard they would need the extra body.

It would mean leaving the Normandy with less protection, and she knew that she would have to be more professional toward Samantha than she had been of late. It had to be better than rushing in now.

"No," she finally responded, turning to the group of soldiers. "Tali's data and the observations we've made to date point to something more sinister than a simple outpost. We need to get a team together; prepare for an assault if we have to. We have no idea what's going on here, it'd be foolish to charge in blindly." T'Soni looked round at all of their faces, trying to judge their reaction.

She had been quite accustomed to using her initiative and making tough decisions on her own, but it was taking some time to get used to giving orders and having them followed. She kept expecting someone to tell her that she was making all the wrong decisions.

They all nodded at her, ruefully agreeing with her caution. Turning to leave, a security officer took point and another followed behind. Tali continued her scans, collecting as much data as possible. Next to her Liara frowned at the dense foliage around them; the feeling of being watched had returned.

The doctor looked deep inside to her biotic reserves. The last time she had felt this level of anxious anticipation Shepard had been spaced, but it wasn't until Tali's sharp gasp reached her that she realised the danger they'd walked into.

A few metres ahead a very familiar orange symbol caught her sharp eyes and she felt her body go cold.

"Cerberus."

* * *

It had taken almost a week from waking up in the hospital, to finally getting a crew together to go and rescue the Normandy.

The admirals had interviewed her, what seemed like a dozen times and still they weren't satisfied with her version of events. After much consultation with her friends, they had come to the conclusion that the stuffed shirts who thought themselves in charge, were unnerved by the idea of there being another sentient life form that had the power to command the Reapers to wipe them all out. Coming to terms with a bunch of giant machines living in dark space, just waiting to wage a war, was nothing compared to their current scepticism. They weren't ready to believe in the existence of the Star Child, and Shepard doubted that they ever would be.

Following a heated argument with the Council and admiral Hackett, Shepard had refused to discuss it further until she had her ship and crew back, which was why she was standing on the bridge of an Explorer Class cruiser with a crew of thirty, picked from the best of over a hundred volunteers to track the signal she'd taken from her Reaper puppet.

With regards to the massive amount of support she was now facing from the public and her fellow soldiers, Shepard had been more than a little surprised. Though according to Jack she was touched in the head for not having seen it coming, or 'bat shit crazy' as she'd actually put it.

Shepard was well aware of how quickly the tides could turn however and with so many unknowns staring them in the face it gave her all the more reason to take advantage of her popularity before it faded.

With Ashley still missing, Shepard had named Miranda as her second in command, much to the chagrin of her superiors, but having proven once before that they were a formidable combination the brass reluctantly agreed to it. Much easier to obtain was their agreement that Liara's father accompany them.

The Commander made her way to the cockpit as the last of the personnel were on board. It was wrong somehow not to see Joker at the 'wheel', but she had the next best thing in her recently released friend Cortez and his synthetic co-pilot.

"Steve, EDI; we 'bout ready to get this bird in the air?"

"Sure thing Commander, just waiting for your word."

"EDI?"

"All systems are at optimum efficiency and all documented crew members are aboard. I am anxious to find Jeff, Shepard."

There was the slightest catch to the computerised voice and Shepard had to remind herself again that the woman's transformation from machine to person was progressing quicker than expected. She made a mental note to discuss it with Tali. When they found her. Jane stepped out of her Alliance role for a moment to place a comforting hand on the co-pilot's shoulder. "You and me both, but if I've any hope to find our crew alive it's in the confidence I have in Joker's ability to fly through anything and still manage to land the ship."

EDI processed the thought quickly then nodded her agreement. "Thank you Shepard, I will remember that."

"Did we get the extra fuel I requested?" The commander asked the pilot, getting back to the task at hand.

"Yes ma'am; enough for a round trip and some left over for the Normandy if she's space worthy," Cortez kept his eyes on his board as his fingers flew over the dials, making the last minute checks. "You just have to broadcast our departure," he added with a grin. This was the part he'd been looking forward to since being asked to fly for the infamous Commander.

"Hit the mic then Steve."

"Aye aye." He flipped a switch and swiped a few knobs and dials to turn the intercom over to ship-wide broadcast, and then sat back to listen.

Down in the armoury Miranda was trying to take inventory while the former Subject Zero was doing everything in her power to hinder the task. Jack was currently sitting atop a crate labelled simply 'Mods', and with the look in her eyes was daring the other woman to try to move her.

Miranda was becoming increasingly frustrated, not only with the young biotic, but with her own body, which was responding to Jack's aggressive playfulness by sending tendrils of arousal through practically every nerve ending she possessed. She had a very bad feeling that her lover knew it too.

That didn't stop her from being pissed off. "Jack," she began in her most condescending tone. "It may not have entered your hormone driven mind, but a ship this large does not run by itself and we… well I, have responsibilities. You do know what those are, don't you?"

Not at all put off, Jack continued to grin and extended both legs to wrap them around Miranda's waist, pulling the woman towards her and eliciting a small squeak. "My job. My responsibility; is to christen every room on this ship at least once before we dock back on Earth." She used what leverage she had on the crate to push her torso flush against Miranda's and traced a path with her tongue along the other woman's neck while pulling their bodies closer still.

Miranda moaned despite her struggle to regain her cool. "You are such a child," she seethed through clenched teeth. She barely noticed that her Omni-tool had been turned off, her hands moving of their own volition to take hold of Jack's hips, resolve all but gone in less than a minute.

"That so?" Jack huffed with amusement, her right hand now holding the ex-operative's head, as fingers buried themselves in dark silky hair. Miranda automatically tilted her head back to give her lover better access and Jack wasted no time in diving right in, sucking and biting her way to a delicate earlobe. "Guess that makes you a fuckin' perv then don't it," she grinned against soft skin and chuckled when Miranda made a sudden move to escape. She let the other woman pull back far enough so they could look each other in the eye.

Miranda glared, but felt her body relax quickly, having become quite accustomed to her lover's 'jokes'. Eventually a smile slowly found its way to her lips and she stopped trying to escape altogether. "How do you get me worked up so quickly?"

"I have awesome skills," Jack replied smugly.

"I didn't imply it was a good thing." Miranda informed her, though she tried not to sound entirely serious. "So, why did you volunteer to come down here if you were just going to get bored and distract me?"

"For some fucking insane reason you get my juices flowing, and I knew you didn't really have to do this inventory shit," she shrugged like it was no big deal. "So I figured we'd have some fun."

Miranda frowned. "What do you mean 'I don't really have to do this'?"

Jack raised an eyebrow like the answer should be obvious. "You're the second in command. At the very least you should be sat in your office, lording it over everyone like you did when we were after the Collectors. This stuff?" She gestured to the crates all around them. "It's grunt work."

The genetically engineered woman narrowed her eyes in warning. "What is your point?"

In a gesture that was uncharacteristic of the brash biotic, Jack ran a finger slowly under her lover's chin, catching the other woman off guard with the gentle caress. "I know what you're doing Princess. You're trying to make yourself indispensable by taking on extra work. I was created in a lab too you know. Don't have to be no fucking shrink to know how being chewed up and spat out really fucks with your self-esteem."

"I don't…" Miranda shook her head, not knowing how to finish the sentence. What could she say in response to that?

"Sure you don't." Jack shrugged again. "I'm not going to tell you what to do or how to think. I sure as hell don't want anyone doing that to me. But Shepard asked for you, and not so you could count her guns." A mischievous expression fell over her face again as she decided it was time to end the heavy talk. "Besides, it's not so much fun jerking off to Vaenia without you." That comment earned her a predictable smack on the arm, but it was quickly followed up by a chaste kiss.

"You can be sort of sweet, when you want to be, you know that?" Miranda laughed at the outrage on Jack's face, feeling amazingly much better after listening to the other woman's wisdom. "Don't worry," she quickly amended. "Everyone else still thinks you're a grade-A psycho bitch. I won't be dissuading them of that."

"So long as we understand each other," the ex-con responded, feeling suitably placated. "Now, where were we?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Ok so here's the next chapter. Chapter 5 should be up shortly too!**

**Thanks to everyone who's followed or favourited! And a special thanks to my three reviewers!**

FOUR

Shepard tried not to fidget in her seat as the shuttle powered up and Cortez was given the green light to depart from the Cornucopia. It had taken a couple of weeks to reach the innocuous planet that supposedly housed her crew. After everything they'd been through Jane felt her patience finally wearing thin. The air in the cabin felt heavy with emotion too. Like her, Aethyta was anxious to know that Liara was alive and well and EDI said little except to relate statistical probabilities of Joker's skill at pulling the crew out of danger. Shepard refrained from informing her that had he not refused to evacuate the original Normandy, she might not have died.

Shepard didn't know quite what was wrong with Miranda and Jack, but the distance between them and the lack of eye contact suggested that they'd had an argument. The commander sighed; it was inevitable really. Whatever had brought the two together couldn't be enough to erase all the issues that lay between them. She hoped that when they decided to make up they'd do it somewhere private.

Five minutes into their descent Shepard couldn't sit still any longer, the heavy silence was killing her, she needed to move.

Through the hatch window she could make out the nondescript formations of rivers, plains and mountains, and in the far distance a speck of black that twinkled from the heat of the sun; a hunk of metal that she fervently hoped was her ship; her crew… her love.

Matriarch Aethyta watched her daughter's lover pacing with agitation and clucked her tongue in annoyance. "How much longer do we have to wait? I thought you said your pilot was good."

Shepard continued to pace, unaware of how her nervousness was beginning to affect her team. "And I thought Asari were supposed to be patient," she raised a semi-amused brow at the millennia old alien.

Aethyta shrugged, ignoring the amusement; it was better than the ill-concealed worry. "Most of us are. It's probably my father coming out in me. But this** is** my kid we're looking for. Besides, if we don't land soon I might throw up; could you possibly stop walking in circles?"

Shepard reluctantly sat back on her section of bench, though she continued to bounce her knee for another minute. It wasn't until Jack threw her a 'knock it off or I'll pound you into dust' look that she finally took a deep breath and managed to reign in her emotions.

EDI had not moved a 'muscle' since taking her seat, her eyes fixed mostly on the window the whole time. "Probability of finding the Normandy and its crew in good condition is high. Jeff is an exceptional pilot. Shepard, you were right, they will have survived the crash."

"Your skills at deception are improving EDI. I appreciate the effort."

"If it was a deception I don't think it was for your benefit only Shepard," Miranda observed after a short silence.

The commander's concerned expression scanned her friends' faces, pausing briefly on Aethyta, then stopping on EDI "Shit." She ran her fingers through her hair. "I'm sorry EDI. You're right to try and be optimistic. He is a good pilot. The best. If anyone could land the Normandy safely, it's Joker." She turned to Aethyta with an apologetic expression, "I'm sorry."

The Matriarch shrugged with her usual bravado, "Don't be. Just remember, Liara survived a hundred and six years before you or I came along, and two years when you were… not available. She battled Geth alongside you and Cerberus without you, and took over from the Shadow Broker. She's a survivor."

Shepard nodded, looking visibly calmer. "Must be the quarter Krogan," she muttered, sharing one more amused glance with the mature Asari before going back to waiting quietly.

The tense atmosphere was soon broken by Cortez's voice over the intercom. "Commander, we're getting fire fight on sensors. Looks like it's coming from our crash site."

"Any idea who it is?" Shepard stood, her shoulders stiff with barely controlled energy. Why couldn't anything ever be easy? The report shot down her last hope of an easy, happy reunion.

"There's some chatter over Alliance signals, probably the Normandy, but there's nothing from the other side. It's most likely encrypted."

The Commander sighed, "Take us down Steve, see if you can get us in under their radar. A klick to the East should do it"

"Aye, aye Commander."

Shepard rolled her shoulders and cracked her knuckles in anticipation of a fight then began issuing orders. "EDI, I want you with me, let's see if we can crack their encryption and find out who we're fighting. We'll try to find a southern route to flank them. Jack, Miranda, you two take the northern route, see if you can do the same." She watched the two biotics exchange a look and hesitated for a moment to rethink her plan. "Can I trust you to keep this professional?" Shepard expected an angry retort from the painted warrior and was surprised when her XO was the one to bristle at the question. From the look on Jack's face she wasn't the only one either.

"Jack knows what's at stake Commander. She's proven herself to you more than enough times," Miranda's annoyed tone raised a few eyebrows.

Shepard sent a half smile in Jack's direction; it was too cute seeing the once so cold Cerberus operative protecting the hardened criminal. "Of course, my mistake." She turned away from the couple before she could make the situation worse by all out laughing and came to a stop at the newest member of their team. Not that the Commander had any delusions about the asari coming along to follow her orders. "I don't suppose I could persuade you to stay with the shuttle?" She asked while bracing herself for a lecture.

Aethyta scoffed, "Listen, you might have taken control of an entire race of sentient machines and half the galaxy might look to you as a hero, but I've lived more than thirty times longer than you; through countless wars, without once coming close to dying I might add. Don't think I'm gonna stand around while you run out there with some romantic notion of saving the day and getting the girl," her gravelly voice threatened all sorts of horrors if the Commander tried to make her stay.

Shepard held up two placating hands, "Alright, alright! Just thought I'd ask. You'll be with me and EDI then."

"Way to kiss up to the in-law Shepard," Jack sniggered, sharing an amused glance with her lover, forgetting for a moment their strife.

Cortez circled round to approach the crash site from the East, flying low to stay hidden behind the rolling terrain. The shuttle touched down behind a group of trees, which covered their approach position to the Normandy. Shepard ordered both teams to go in silent and take out as many targets as possible before their presence was reported. As they closed in Jack would provide a distraction, drawing their enemy's fire while the Commander's team came down hard from behind.

Aerial scans had shown around a dozen soldiers and two heavy vehicles, but other than that no specialised weaponry or power sources. The difficulty rating was fairly low, but each of them was very aware that their own allies could easily be in the middle of the fight.

Shepard waved Miranda and Jack off to the right then took point, leading EDI and Aethyta up a steady incline, skirting the edge of the trees for a good view and quick cover. A part of her wanted to do nothing more than charge in like a berserker, knocking down anyone and everyone in her path to get to Liara; she was desperate to know that her lover was safe. Her military training ran deep though and with practiced effort she managed to push down the bubbling panic and rage, leaving her head clear.

They'd been moving at a steady pace for a quarter of a mile before anyone spoke; Aethyta gripping her shotgun firmly and the Commander lowering her sniper-rifle slightly to listen to their synthetic companion.

"Commander, I have been monitoring various frequencies for com-traffic. I believe I am picking up standard Cerberus commands. The encryption software also matches known Cerberus firewalls."

"Shit," Shepard slowed her jog to a fast walk and reached for her com-unit. "Miranda, do you read me?"

"_Loud and clear Shepard."_

"How far out are you?"

"_About half a klick."_

"EDI's picking up chatter over the radio, she's sure it's Cerberus. Can you confirm?"

"_Hold on."_

The three were silent except for the movement of their feet and armour, listening for Miranda's answer.

"_Confirmed," Miranda acknowledged darkly. "It looks like they're using an old encryption system though… A very old encryption system."_

Shepard could hear the confusion in the woman's voice and waited patiently for more information. Ahead the Normandy was coming into view over the top of a rocky hill and the fire-fight they'd picked up in the shuttle was clearly audible now. To Shepard's experienced hearing she was sure the battle had reached a sort of stalemate; there were long periods of silence between single or short bursts of fire, no doubt Cerberus would be trying to find a way to use their heavy machines to take the advantage.

Over the radio they suddenly heard a litany of profanity from Jack, followed by low frantic reassurances from her lover.

"Miranda? We're stopping to get a look at the layout round the Normandy," Shepard waved her companions down as she lay in the cover of a boulder and positioned her rifle, half a mind still on the argument now coming clearly through her microphone. "What's going on?"

"_Jack please, calm down… Shepard?" Miranda sounded frantic._

"Talk to me," the Commander swallowed her frustration and the 'I told you so' that sat on the tip of her tongue, waiting for answers.

"_It's another Teltin facility."_

That explained Jack's sudden lack of subtlety, thought Shepard as a sinking feeling flowed through her. "Did you know about this?" The pause was heavy before a reluctant answer came through, followed by several distant expletives.

"_Yes."_

Liara sprinted down an empty corridor, panting heavily as she tried to outrun her pursuers. Cerberus. If all she'd ever known of humans were these uncaring thugs she would think the entire race was made up of callous xenophobes. Thank the Goddess for people like Shepard.

At the first opportunity the young archaeologist threw herself round a corner to the right, desperately trying to find the window she'd seen just an hour or so ago.

During the two days she'd been there the 'scientists' had led her from her cell four times, taking her to an empty room where they injected her with psychotropic and hallucinogenic drugs and threw her in to monitor the effects from a safe distance behind reinforced glass. At first they had just watched her as she crippled over in pain or clawed at the imaginary figures that surrounded her. When they finally left her alone all she could do was hug her knees and cry, the tentative connection between her consciousness and the new life inside of her was gone.

The second day they drugged her again then threw objects at her for what felt like hours, waiting for her to finally pass out with exhaustion. She found it hard to care what their plans were for the next day… until it came.

Today they had looked agitated when they came to get her, their faces dark with something she couldn't quite place. There was a lot more chatting amongst the guards and scientists than usual; Liara only had to catch a couple of words to feel her determination return; Alliance reinforcements.

They hadn't taken her to the same room, but to a makeshift arena instead; more notably passed windows that looked out onto the dense forest that surrounded the facility. The injections came again, but she was ready for the effects this time, closing off part of her mind to the hallucinations, aware enough that she could count the number of guards and work out an escape plan.

Nothing happened for ages, and then a group of small frightened looking children were shoved into the 'pit' and told to take her down or die trying. When they hesitated a gangly, pale skinned guard thrust the butt of his gun into the back of the smallest child, pushing him roughly to the ground, making all the guards laugh. That was the last straw.

With a scream of rage that scared even her, Liara threw a barrier around the children and a singularity at the man she could only describe as an overgrown sadistic bully. The figures standing close by, frozen by shock, were immediately pulled towards him and hung limply in mid-air as the Asari made a bee-line for the door and what she hoped would lead her to freedom.

It pained her to leave the children behind, but if she was to have any chance of freeing them, she would need significant backup. Staying to help them now would only ensure all their deaths.

The biotic hoped that her memory was still good. Following her break from the arena she had heard nothing but her own heavy breathing for a moment or two, but now the noise level was rising; angry footsteps thundered behind her and before she could duck out of sight a speeding projectile whizzed by her ear.

Summoning as much energy as she could, Liara twisted to throw a ball of biotic energy over her shoulder, praying that she would hit something, anything to slow them down.

Making another right turn she finally felt a pang of relief as several tall spruce-like trunks greeted her vision through the last barrier. Spotting a sturdy looking crate close by, she pulled it up into the air and hurled it at the glass, then let out a surprised yelp as it immediately bounced back and crashed to the floor.

"No, no, no…" she whispered in desperation, looking frantically around now for another way out, or at the very least, a place to hide.

To the right the corridor appeared to go on forever, eventually ending with what looked like another arena; to the left, a closed door. The shouting was beginning to get louder again and she knew that whatever delay she'd created with her last effort, it'd worn off and she had a split second to decide her next move. The corridor was too long, the arena too open; they would catch her within minutes. Her only hope left was to find a room to barricade herself in till she had the energy to fight again.

The door swished closed behind her just as irate bodies began to pile into the space outside the room, and Liara's digits flew in a frenzy over the door pad, entering as many encryptions as she could to keep the guards out. She collapsed to her knees, gasping while she tried unsuccessfully to hold the tears as bay. The banging outside the door was almost comforting; it meant that they couldn't get in, yet. Then she heard a sound behind her that made her heart stop and the blood in her veins pound.

Jack was seething, pacing like a wild animal and looking anywhere but at her companion. How could Miranda do this to her? The bitch! Fuming to herself, the volatile woman threw a hate filled look at her lover. "I knew I should never have trusted you. Fuck! I thought I was passed this, how could I be such a pussy?! To think I actually… Argh!" Jack screamed in frustration, trying to smother the hurt with rage. It had taken her years to train herself not to trust anyone, not to care, yet here she was again, getting screwed over.

Miranda was trying to talk to her, to calm her down, but the words didn't reach her, couldn't penetrate through her emotional barrier. She watched as the bitch gave up trying and started to talk hurriedly into her omni-tool, explaining her research into Cerberus' various projects and her discovery of similar facilities to the one that had ripped baby Jennifer from her mother, taken away her identity and turned her into Subject Zero.

"We were in the middle of a war, I was trying to find Ori and my father, I didn't have time to investigate, and I knew you had your hands full." Her voice was full of regret and a pleading pitch that Shepard had never heard from her before.

"_I understand. There wasn't time to get into it then."_

Miranda could hear the 'but' through her omni-tool. "I should have mentioned it when you woke up," she agreed out loud. To her right Jack threw her another dirty look; Miranda closed her eyes and sighed.

"_We'll get into it when we're back on the Normandy. Right now we have to get rid of these idiots."_

"Agreed."

"_Is Jack up to this?"_

The response from Jack was instant, "Fuck you Shepard, I'm always ready to kick ass, especially Cerberus assholes who think they're better than everyone else!"

Miranda felt the comment like a punch to the gut. Never had she silently endured verbal abuse like this, not even from her father. Of course, she had never cared all that much for him. Even as a small child he'd been less like a parent and more like a drill instructor. Falling back on old habits, the XO focussed her mind on the job at hand. The last year had seen her fall entirely out of love with her former employers and she was looking forward to hurling a few of them into the air to release some stress; if it went at all towards redeeming her to Jack then all the better.

"We're ready Commander." She watched Jack roll her eyes at the new coolness in her tone, but ignored it.

"_Good. The sooner we get this over with, the better. There are a dozen operatives bunkered up on this side. We could do with a distraction your end to draw their attention so we can hit them unaware."_

Jack cracked her knuckles, her eyes dancing with crazed energy. "No problem."

She didn't bother waiting for Miranda to acknowledge that she was ready before the impulsive biotic began striding in the direction of their targets, her shoulder movement jerky as she held both hands in tight fists.

She'd heard the tail end of her lovers excuses to the Commander, but she wasn't ready to accept them at face value; wasn't ready to accept that maybe her anger and sense of betrayal was premature and unnecessary. Trust and hope had been difficult to maintain and after their earlier disagreement both were crumbling.

Miranda had crept out of her quarters shortly before morning watch when the lighting cycle switched to day time. They usually spent their evenings entertaining one another in the small cabin Shepard had set aside for her, away from the busy running of the ship. There were many things Jack liked to criticize the Commander for, but consideration for her friends' comfort was not one of them. Though she didn't openly say so, Jack was deeply grateful.

Sharing a bed for something other than sex was rare for both women; neither one could count their sleeping partners on one hand, and it had been a somewhat awkward arrangement that they'd settled into only three nights ago, but still they had yet to wake up together; a fact that had set Miss Nought off on a tirade later that morning.

Jack being Jack though, she couldn't quite decide what to be offended by, the early morning abandonment, or the progression of their 'friends with benefits' arrangement into something resembling a relationship. The heated complaints and continuous contradictions that sprang forth from Subject Zero's mind quickly put the Operative on the defensive and a bitter argument ensued.

She couldn't let it go; the whole situation was like a swarm of bees in her head, her thoughts buzzing incessantly, telling her she was being dumb, that she would only get hurt in the end. Yet she felt her body wanting to cling to the cheerleader, wanting the feeling of companionship that was there when Miranda's arms were wrapped around her in sleep. It scared her how much she enjoyed those peaceful moments, and terrified her to think that she could lose them. Fear was an emotion she had long ago put aside for other people to indulge in; weaker people.

Shepard continued to chatter over the radio for a minute or two more before there was radio silence. Miranda appeared focussed and calm, something that irritated Jack though she guessed that it was all for show. Still, she hated that her lover could appear to put aside their conflict so easily when her own mind swam with doubt and dread.

Subject Zero moved forward, her gait predatory. "Come on you fuckers," she spat, infuriated. "Come and get some." Not waiting for Miranda to give the all clear, she picked up the pace; itching for the fight she knew was coming.

"Jack," Lawson hissed with a hint of trepidation in her voice. Shepard hadn't intended for their approach to be quiet. They were after all supposed to be a distraction, but neither should they be charging in without consideration for their own safety. Jack was dangerously close to being spotted with no idea of where to retreat to should they be overwhelmed.

Seeing her lover so out of control, walking headlong into danger, Lawson's façade slipped and she felt panic flood her veins. Without a second thought she used her biotics to pull Jack into cover, a power that she wasn't exactly adept at, but had managed easily enough as it caught the ex-con off guard and was strong enough to dislodge her com-unit, which fell silently into a patch of grass. It didn't take long though for Zero to realise what had happened and who to blame.

"What the fuck!?" Jack practically screamed at Miranda, her face a picture of fury as she faced up to the cheerleader, a finger pointed squarely at her face reminiscent of the confrontation they'd had after the trip to Pragia. "You worried I'm gonna rip your buddies to pieces lover?" she sneered.

The normally gentle appellation felt like the worst insult, stinging like nothing else and the operative finally lost the last bit of her control. "Grow up Jack! I told Shepard you could do this, but you're out of your bloody mind!"

Both of them were beginning to glow, their anger causing their biotics to flare. The ex-Cerberus officer knew that their argument had probably not gone unnoticed, but it was still possible that the enemy was too far away yet.

"Damn it, we're supposed to be creating a diversion, not getting ourselves killed."

Jack began to move off again and Miranda acted without thought, pulling her back again. This time Jack was ready though and as she felt the effect she turned and launched her own much more powerful force at the other woman, throwing her several feet out of cover. Jack winced as the body she'd touched with surprising tenderness the night before hit the ground with a resound thud. For a few seconds there was nothing but silence as Lawson rolled over and stared at Jack, her face painted liberally with surprise and hurt. Suddenly Subject Zero saw herself clearly, realising for perhaps the first time how extreme her actions were.

Shepard's XO began pushing herself gingerly to her feet as Jack looked on in shame. The anger she'd been drowning in just moments before turning into the bitter sting of regret. Miranda's expression was hard when her gaze finally fell on the painted woman and Jack felt her stomach drop. Whatever chance she'd had of fixing things between them seemed very far away now and she hung her head with tightly closed eyes, willing the sudden tingling of imminent tears away.

Then time stopped. Through her guilt fogged thoughts came the familiar and terrifying sound of a shot being fired followed closely by a cry of pain. Jack opened her eyes just in time to see Miranda slump to her knees, a dark red stain spreading across the front of her skin-tight suit.


	5. Chapter 5

FIVE

Jack didn't know when she'd decided to move but by the time she realised what her body was doing she was sprinting in the direction the shot had come from. Watching her lover fall to the ground she knew the wound was serious, but she wouldn't believe that Miranda was dead yet and she wasn't about to give the shooter a chance to finish the job.

The Normandy was right in front of her now, the huge ship looking incredibly helpless out of its natural environment, incapable of doing anything but looking stern and foreboding. The crew had apparently been busy before the attack; crates were piled up in strategic places giving convenient cover to their assailants.

Jack saw the sniper as he positioned his rifle for the killing shot, though her sudden and furious appearance startled him. Just as he decided to reposition his weapon Subject Zero lifted him high into the air, "Die bitch!" she screamed with rage and threw him into a wing of the ship, impaling him on a protruding piece of armoured plating.

She turned before his limp body hit the ground and stared down the approaching onslaught. If Shepard wanted a distraction she would have it now.

Releasing two shockwaves in quick succession, the enraged biotic sent a dozen crates flying in all directions, revealing four of the Cerberus cowards she was after. She gave them no time to pick themselves up, swiftly dispatching two the same as the sniper and introducing a third to the business end of her shot gun; number four scrambled back several feet as she bore down on him. Repeated gun fire could be heard a few hundred feet away, the timing between each shot let Jack know that the Commander was putting her own sniper skills to good use. Shepard was a surgeon with that rifle of hers; with Jane's finger on the trigger the Widow never missed. Including Jack's kills the count was now close to ten.

Glaring down at her next victim Subject Zero raised her shot gun a second time. Normally she'd take her time to let him feel the inevitability of his imminent demise, but her mind was still back with Miranda and she knew she had to be quick.

The soldier's eyes widened. "Zero wait!" he stammered desperately, taking a chance on his attacker's identity.

On hearing her 'slave name' from a Cerberus employee Jack felt a fresh wave of hatred run through her. Her vision swam for a moment; the warm fuzzy feeling she normally associated with going in for the kill faded and a wave of desire filled the space; she had to know what he knew! Sparing a life was new to her; she had only spared Aresh because Shepard had been standing there and she felt like she owed the woman for helping her to destroy Teltin. With an irritated sigh of frustration she reversed her weapon and smashed the butt of the gun into his forehead, knocking him unconscious.

Looking around Jack saw no more enemies so turned and darted back to her fallen comrade as fast as she could. She noticed movement in the grass where she'd seen the other woman fall and felt a sense of relief that the XO wasn't dead yet. Still she didn't slow down and when she finally reached the spot her legs gave way letting her collapse to the ground.

Miranda had propped herself up on one elbow and with her one free hand was attempting to apply medi-gel to her would, she was shaking badly though and each time she touched the gaping hole in her side she flinched in pain. As her lover leaned over her she gazed up with terrified eyes, searching for some kind of reassurance.

Jack looked down at the wound and felt her throat tighten. Miranda's ashen pallor was a sign that the woman had already lost a lot of blood and as Subject Zero took the medi-gel from her the XO lost the energy to hold herself upright and slumped back into the grass with a whimper.

"Jack?" Miranda's voice pleaded with the other woman to look at her. She was beginning to feel cold, her wound throbbed and an ominous blackness began to appear at the edge of her vision.

Zero kept her eyes on the wound, concentrating on squeezing liberal amounts of the healing liquid around the hole in Lawson's stomach. She couldn't look Miranda in the eye, couldn't see the fear of death in her gaze knowing that it was her fault she'd been shot.

Miranda groaned and clenched her teeth as a hand reached under her to gently feel for an exit wound. The bullet had been a high velocity round, designed to penetrate armour and shields or travel large distances. She was lucky her former employers didn't prefer toxic or exploding projectiles. Feeling her body being cautiously rolled onto her side Miranda bit her lip, willing her body to silently take the pain, although by the time she was on her back again a cold sweat had broken out over her face and neck.

She couldn't believe she'd compromised their mission so badly. Being secretive was second nature to her; holding her cards close to her chest had always ensured her survival and the safety of those one or two people she truly cared about. Now it seemed that those instincts were working against her.

Gazing up at Jack's face Miranda tried to push all her fears aside. She should have warned the other woman weeks ago; they could have worked through these issues together and come up with a more efficient plan of attack. The info she'd gathered hadn't given her the name of the planet, but they wouldn't have begun arguing about loyalties and lies in the middle of a battle field. Seeing the guilt that her lover was trying to hide and remembering the expression of betrayal she had sported not ten minutes ago, the ex-Cerberus loyalist fumed against her old employers and her own naivety when she'd blindly followed their bidding. How many kids like Jack had suffered at their hands?

There was no rhyme or reason to her feelings when it came to the 'psychotic biotic'. There were a hundred small things that she'd never analysed all together, though some she had shared with the Commander when Shepard had first woken up. As she felt the blackness pulling at her she decided that it no longer mattered; Jack made her feel like no one ever had before and despite the day's events she trusted the rash and impulsive woman to keep her safe.

"Jack," she tried again, fighting unconsciousness. She winced and groaned as she felt a new wave of pain. "Look at me, please."

Jack hesitated; she never apologised for her mistakes; she accepted them, thrived on them and moved on, but never apologised. Cerberus had moulded her into the ruthless bitch she was today; they were the ones who would be sorry. This logic didn't sit well with her now though and she hadn't a clue how to make any of it better. So when a broken sob and a heart-felt 'I'm sorry' reached her ear she was startled enough to finally look up.

"Fuck," Jack ran a hand over the side of her head where there was barely any hair. "What the hell are you apologising to me for?"

"I…" Miranda tried to sit up, but quickly collapsed back down with a groan, her breath coming in short gasps.

"Don't be stupid Princess," Jack's voice betrayed her worry but she managed to keep it soft. "When Shepard gives the all clear I'm carrying you back to the Normandy. Until then, lie still."

Miranda nodded and took the hand that Jack silently offered her and concentrated on the feel of her lover's fingers caressing her palm; it was a small gesture, but helped to dull the pain.

"I should have told you earlier," the injured woman murmured, her voice barely above a whisper. "I wanted to."

Jack didn't want to get into this yet, or at all really; she wished Shepard would hurry up. She couldn't help responding though, "Why didn't you?"

With a shaking hand Miranda reached up to stroke Jack's angular features. "You were happy. I didn't want to see that smile disappear." A shadow of regret passed over her eyes and she let her hand fall. "It was stupid; none of this would have happened if I'd just told you sooner."

Miranda's eyes closed slowly and Jack felt the panic that she'd been trying to keep at bay. "Hey, don't you go fallin' asleep on me Princess, you know I hate that." Her voice rose as the tightness in her throat returned. She tapped Miranda as firmly as she dared on the cheek causing those sapphire eyes to focus on her once more. "Stay with me, ok? I'm no good at doin' this shit on my own."

Miranda smiled lethargically, her eye lids fluttering closed for a long second before opening again. "It's cold," she complained weakly, "Don't leave me," heavy lids drifted shut again.

Jack blinked back the stinging behind her eyes and stood with swift agitation. "Fuck," she seethed to herself. The gun fire had stopped, but she still couldn't be sure that all those Cerberus assholes were dead; there could be any number of them still lying in wait. Shepard could have wounded too; who knew how Aethyta was in combat? She might have been a commando in her younger days, but how many centuries ago would that have been? Shepard wouldn't let her lover's father die. With both of their coms having fallen off during their brief scuffle, she had no chance of calling for assistance. It might take the Commander ages to secure prisoners and the perimeter. By the time anyone came looking for them Miranda could be dead.

"Well fuck that." Deciding that she didn't give a shit how many enemies were left, she knew she'd cut a path through them somehow, just as long as she got her wounded lover to the doc. Miranda would probably chew her out later for being reckless, but honestly if it meant the woman was alive she'd probably enjoy it.

With uncharacteristic tenderness she slid her arms under the beautiful biotic's body and lifted her so Miranda was held flush against her chest and then turned toward the inoperative ship.

* * *

The newly reunited crew of the Normandy were gathered in the war room waiting on the Commander's arrival. As he wasn't needed in the cock-pit what with the ship being out of action, Joker had insisted on joining them. He actually didn't care that much about being involved in planning missions, Shepard would tell him anyway as soon as they were set to go, but he needed to be close to EDI; he still wasn't convinced that she was actually there and didn't want to let her out of his sight.

Garrus and Tali were conversing in hushed tones on the opposite side of the galaxy map. They'd both been under a lot of pressure since the beginning of the attacks and the team that had accompanied T'Soni on their scouting mission all felt responsible for Liara's capture. Emotions were high, however there was no doubt that morale had lifted since the Commander's return. They were all eager to hear what had happened with the Crucible, but they knew that celebrations would have to wait until they had rescued Liara and destroyed yet another Cerberus base.

All conversation stopped as Shepard entered, closely followed by Jack and Aethyta. They were all aware by now that there was something going on between the Convict and the Loyalist, but no one dared to approach the volatile young biotic with their condolences. Jack was as likely to kill you for your efforts as she was to thank you.

"Alright," Shepard began, her tone all business. "We've secured the Normandy and a three kilometre radius around this area thanks to the extra troops we brought with us. Now we need to hit back at Cerberus before they have a chance to regroup." She stopped pacing for a moment to bring up a blue-print on the holographic display. "Thanks to EDI and Tali who managed to hack through their security and enter their mainframe, we have detailed floor plans of their facility.

"Also, the hostage Jack so thoughtfully spared gave us a head count. As this planet has been off the grid until now security forces are limited; most of the personnel are scientists and, I use the term loosely, doctors. Most of their heavies were sent to capture this ship."

Garrus cracked his knuckles. He'd felt almost helpless against their attacks and still chaffed after the two failed rescue attempts he'd led when Liara had first been captured. He was ready for payback. "So how do we hit them?"

"They have hostages; Liara and at least a dozen children. We don't know what condition the hostages are in, but it's likely they'll have suffered the same treatment as those on Pragia; you've all read that report."

"Hell some of us even lived through 'Cerberus Summer Camp'," Jack commented with heavy sarcasm.

Shepard nodded. "Which is why I need you with me Jack. I understand you have priorities here but…"

"Shit Shepard, you know I ain't the bedside, hand-holding type, and I ain't no damn doctor. I'm about as useful here as a Batarian stripper at a bachelor party. I'm with you."

"Now there's a vision you don't see every day," Aethyta commented dryly.

"Thanks Jack for that… disturbing image. As if I don't already have enough nightmares," Jane muttered just loud enough to draw a few half smiles. "I want everyone to exercise extreme caution. Shoot to kill only when you're sure of your target. Some of the kids might fight back, if they do I want you to take them down gently, but I don't want any casualties, is that clear?"

A round of 'yes Commander's' circled the room. The newer soldiers who were joining them on this mission needed to know she was serious; Shepard didn't want any trigger happy troops on her squad.

"We'll be moving in three teams of four. EDI and I are going to secure the control room; there's a hatch access point from the maintenance shaft here," the Commander pointed to an area of the blue-print towards the back of the facility. "We'll get in from the roof. Simmons and Hill, you'll be with us."

"Aye Commander," the privates said simultaneously, accompanied by a stiff salute that made Jack roll her eyes.

"Tali, Garrus you'll take Fawkes and Hutchinson and hit the front. Most of their Mechs should be there; your talents will come in handy." Finally she turned to the two powerful biotics. "Jack, you and Aethyta have the best barriers, I'm sending you in with Jenson and Wilkes to secure the dorms, you'll have the best chance of finding the children there. Jack, if you can I want you to find a safe room, keep the kids there and send others that way when you find them."

With nods all round and no protests forthcoming Shepard continued. "We go in quiet; radio silence for as long as possible. Medics will be close by." She looked down for a moment, eyes closed while she found her next words. "If anyone finds Liara you're to contact Aethyta or myself as soon as it's safe to do so… Any questions?" There were none. "Alright people, move out!"

* * *

Getting in had been easier than expected; the only exterior security at the back of the facility were a couple of Mechs and closed circuit cameras, all of which EDI and Shepard managed in a matter of seconds to damage beyond repair. The copious trees and other dense foliage helped to cover most of their approach, but as one long window lined the side of the building, looking into a sterile corridor, access to the roof was a delicate job.

Spotting a stack of crates, Shepard used her biotics to pull one off the top and placed it as close as she dared to the wall, all the while keeping one ear out for a warning signal from any one of her team. Once it was in place she checked for hostiles then took a running start and leapt from the top of the crate on to the roof, landing like a jungle cat lightly on all fours.

EDI followed, landing with barely any sound due to the sensitive sensors that told every one of her circuits when to leap and how to touch down without noise transference. The two privates were not quite as successful, but their efforts were good enough for Shepard and she let them know with a curt nod.

With a forwards hand gesture from the Commander they were on the move again. The maintenance shaft Shepard was looking for took them a few minutes to find, and then another couple of minutes for EDI to hack the lock. It didn't seem like a long time to Hill and Simmons, but they both noticed that the Commander was pacing again, her agitation palpable in the air.

"How much longer EDI?" Shepard demanded quietly.

EDI's tone stayed fairly even but there was just enough inflection to convey her annoyance at having been interrupted. "It is almost complete Commander."

Simmons stepped forward eyeing his superior officer. "Ma'am, is everything ok?" He asked, ignoring Hill's elbow in the ribs.

Shepard didn't answer for a moment, her gaze far away as if she was seeing something in the distance. "Something's wrong," she muttered, eyes closed. "She's scared… but angry too."

Before anyone could comment they all heard the hiss of the airlock and EDI's announcement that she was done. Shepard was the first in, followed by her synthetic friend and the two privates. The Commander descended to the next level swiftly, landing softly once more. The next hatch had just a simple mag-lock and led into one of the base's control rooms. It was hoped that from there EDI could shut down any remaining mechs, control the power grid to open doors and monitor the security feeds.

Shepard twisted the release mechanism slowly, feeling pleased when it moved smoothly and opened with a soft click. Sensors in her omni-tool told her there was only one occupant in the room and as the Saviour of the Citadel opened the hatch and moved into position she readied her pistol.

As Jane's feet hit the ground her sharp eyes identified her lost lover's lethargic form and felt relief flow through her. Even from behind, Liara looked exhausted and Shepard's first instinct was to reach out and comfort her. Though as soon as her hand touched those slim shoulders, the wild eyed asari turned and in a flash of blue light the Commander found herself floating three foot above the ground.

Time seemed to stop. Liara stood in shock, hand covering her mouth as she stared at the slowly rotating figure of the woman she loved. On hearing the sound of heavy boots hitting the floor, Dr. T'Soni had begun gathering what was left of her strength for another fight, throwing her biotics at the intruder the moment she felt the hand on her shoulder. Now she couldn't figure out if the person before her was really Shepard or simply another hallucination.

The singularity eventually dissipated and the Commander hit the ground. She suppressed a wince as she stood, and approached Liara again, taking care to move slowly. "Liara?" She whispered, injecting as much love into her tone as possible while she moved closer. Once they were toe to toe Shepard reached out and gently removed the Asari's hands from her mouth and held them tenderly in her own. "Hey, you ok?"

"Is it really you?" T'Soni chocked as her eyes began to fill with tears.

Shepard squeezed her lover's hands reassuringly then whispered, "Yes love, it's really me. We came to get you out of here."

Liara felt her legs go weak and fell into Jane's arms before she completely registered the last words. She buried her nose in the crook of Shepard's neck and breathed in deeply, letting the familiar scent chase away some of the demons she'd been carrying. "We?" she added after a short pause.

Jane smiled then tilted her head slightly to direct her voice towards the hatch, "EDI, you can come down now."

The young asari took a reluctant step back to watch as three figures dropped into the room. EDI nodded at her once then immediately moved to the console while the two soldiers tried not to stare at the lovers too closely.

"Shepard, there are several Cerberus operatives massed outside the door," EDI announced, breaking the short silence.

This news got Liara moving again. In a few short steps she was across the room and looking at the camera footage of the corridor outside. "They chased me here from the arena. I had to lock myself in."

"Arena?" Shepard wondered out loud, her memory taking her back to Pragia where Jack had been forced to fight other children to the death.

"A combat area I think," T'Soni supplied darkly, confirming the commander's fear. "They ordered a handful of children to kill me; a test of biotics; theirs against a drugged Asari's. I threw a barrier around the children and ran," she seemed to struggle for a minute, wanting to justify her actions. "I thought it better to come back with help." She was relieved when all three Alliance soldiers nodded.

"A wise precaution Dr. T'Soni. Probability of you overwhelming Cerberus forces and providing a safe means of extraction while your body overcomes the hallucinogenic would have been negligible." EDI had pulled up a file from the database with video footage of the Asari's capture and torture, along with a comprehensive log by one of the scientists.

Liara hesitated for a moment then pressed 'play' on one of the video files. She watched in a detached sort of way as she saw herself being shocked and subdued then injected. Through the next twenty seconds, she watched herself scream and flail around, fighting the pain and invisible enemies. It had been shortly after that episode that she first realised she could no longer hear the small echo from within. Having seen enough she turned it off and glanced at the AI. "EDI, can you completely erase these files?"

"Of course," the synthetic replied gently.

Shepard forced down the hatred that seemed to burn hot in the back of her throat and placed a concerned hand on her lover's shoulder again. "Liara?"

She shrugged the commander off; she didn't want comfort yet, the experience was still too fresh in her mind and they didn't have time to linger for much longer. As soon as EDI was finished they would have to be ready to fight again. "I'm fine," she insisted firmly. "I've rested and I'm not alone." There was a pause and Liara turned to face the commander, her eyes pleading with her lover to drop it. "I'll be fine Shepard."

Reluctantly Jane nodded. "Ok." She understood what Liara wanted and no matter how much she would like to fix things now she knew they needed to be moving on. "EDI, how's that data coming?"

"Almost finished Shepard. I found some deleted information that might lead us to a third facility. I believe Miss. Lawson would find it interesting."

"Ok, good. What about our friends outside?" Shepard indicated her head towards the door.

"I am blocking all attempts at entry."

Hills and Simmons, who'd taken position by the door, were relieved to hear this; there was a lot of noise coming from the other side. "Ma'am, what about the other teams?" Simmons asked.

"EDI?" Shepard turned to her friend and the display panel.

EDI tapped a few buttons to bring up an exterior view of the facility and next to it a view of the dorms. "Cerberus forces are being subdued."

Shepard's teams clearly had the upper hand; the majority of the enemy appeared to be massed outside their door. Garrus and Tali were patrolling the perimeter and keeping control of the main exit. Most of the kids were huddled together in one of the dorms. Two were being kept in stasis by Aethyta while Jack appeared to be playing a deadly game of hide and seek with the last remaining doctor who looked terrified crouched behind his desk.

"My father's here?" Liara burst out after studying the screen for a few seconds.

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck. "She insisted on coming with us. I made the mistake of trying to make her stay with the ship. You should have heard the dressing down she gave me," she laughed at the memory and Liara smiled with a hint of a blush. "Do you have everything we need EDI?"

"Yes Commander."

Shepard passed her pistol to Liara and pulled out her assault rifle. "Let's get this over with then."


	6. Chapter 6

**Ok, so this is the longest chapter so far! Thank you to those who have been reviewing. I write mostly to entertain myself, but I enjoy the praise (and constructive criticism) nonetheless.**

**In response to a query about Shepard surviving the crucible/catalyst option to control the reapers; in short I could just say 'it's not canon', but I do have a few ideas written down around this subject. Can't promise that they'll be revealed in this story and though I'm sketching out a sequel, it took me a couple of years of dipping into writing this to have it almost finished, so no promises on the sequel either. (It's nearly test time for kids at work, I'm co-creating a wedding cake in a few short weeks, I'll be working at a new school in September and in the next year I hope to buy a house, so it's going to be a busy and exciting year!)**

**I'm trying to read through a lot of the earlier chapters again to check for continuity but time is short so most of the time I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for the best. Let me know if there are any blaring inconsistencies!**

**This started out as a FemShep/Liara fic because I can't seem to play ME (1/2/3) without romancing Liara. (I tried but the closest I got was romancing Tali as MaleShep.) While writing this though I've discovered how much fun it is to write Miranda/Jack! I started to doodle some ideas of a series of short peeks into their day-to-day lives too, but as I said before, we'll have to wait and see where inspiration and opportunity decide to meet ;-)  
**

**SIX**

Liara sat in the med-bay sometime later, fiddling nervously with the cuff of her sleeve while she waited for Dr Chakwas to finish examining her. She hadn't wanted to be there at all, preferring to stay away from anyone who wanted to prod and probe her, but Shepard had pouted and her father had threatened to start interrogating the commander about their sex life. She could have protested more vehemently, but feared it would only draw more unwanted attention; it was imperative that they didn't examine her too closely.

In the two beds on either side of her were children who were suffering from a combination of shock and malnutrition; the good doctor had decided to sedate them for a few hours while their bodies rested and took in much needed nutrition from a drip.

The rest of the children had been escorted to the mess hall by the Commander and Jack. They would be grazing on protein snacks, dried fruits and an assortment of fats and carbohydrates regularly for the next few days until their bodies could accommodate larger portions. Shepard had suggested that once they were all rested and out of med-bay that they should celebrate with a campfire and a barbecue. There were a few crew members who were good at telling stories and they were all in agreement that it would give the children the chance to get to know their rescuers and feel more at ease before their journey back to Earth.

In a bed on the far side of the room Miranda remained unmoving. Dr Chakwas kept the commander, and by proxy Jack, updated on her recovery, but though she was healing well she had yet to show signs of waking. Karin planned on leaving the attractive biotic for another 48 hours before attempting further measures to wake her. For the moment she was in no real danger.

Opposite the genetically superior beauty was the young Engineer Daniels, unconscious and surrounded by a stasis field. Despite the doctor's dire diagnosis Miss. Daniels had survived the long surgery after the injuries she'd sustained during the shock-wave. She was in a coma; there was nothing more that Chakwas could do, they could only hope that more specialist help was available back on Earth.

Aethyta stood next to the doorway, leaning against the wall in a very un-matriarchal manner, surveying the scene before her. While she was of the opinion that Commander Shepard was overprotective of her daughter, she had seen enough of what Cerberus had done to their captives to agree with this medical exam. Liara hadn't stopped fiddling since she'd stepped into the room and though she was quite familiar with the doctor she had to keep double checking what the human was doing.

"So what's the verdict doc?" Aethyta enquired in her low gravelly voice.

Dr Chakwas turned to her patient, "Are you ok to talk about this now?" she asked, checking that Liara didn't want a private consultation.

Liara nodded and smiled for the first time since entering the room. "It's likely I'll tell her later anyway, after she's threatened to embarrass me by discussing my mother's breasts in public again, or something equally mortifying."

The elder asari shrugged like they were perfectly reasonable tactics and then winked at her daughter. Benezia had had a much more subtle manner, making logical suggestions until Liara got the point and either rebelled or reluctantly accepted the advice. It was refreshing in a way to find such a direct approach, but it also made the young archaeologist miss her mother terribly.

Chakwas nodded, "Ok. Well your exposure was short term so there shouldn't be any long term chemical affects from the drugs. They will completely wear off in a few days."

Karin leant back against Liara's bed and clasped her hands in front of her. "I do have some concerns about the psychological effects of the drugs considering the strength of the doses and the treatment you were subjected to. You may find that you experience periods of paranoia, unprovoked anger and irritability, or at the other end of the scale, depression and lethargy. If we're lucky the affects might be quite mild, but I think you should be aware of any changes and let me know." Chakwas paused to invite any comments from her patient.

"Are you basing this on human or asari physiology?" Liara queried, her tone a little worried.

"Both. We are remarkably similar in our bodies' reactions to toxins and the psychological affects that I've studied are not too dissimilar either," she sighed and looked to the children who seemed peaceful in sleep. It would be entirely different when they were awake; their trauma was more mental than physical and there was no longer a qualified psychologist on the Normandy. She was doing the best she could with her limited knowledge of the subject, but judging by her own recovery from her time with the collectors the last thing she wanted was to worry Liara more than necessary.

She smiled gently, presenting a calm professional manner as she tried to reassure the young doctor. "Liara, the drugs will leave your body completely in a few days; I can test you each morning and you'll know exactly when you're clean again. From my own experience, I recommend talking to someone you trust about what you went through; don't try to struggle alone, you'll only end up drowning in your thoughts, believe me."

"You were held captive by the collectors," Liara remembered, suddenly feeling more comfortable being with the doctor.

Karin nodded, "The entire time I couldn't move, could only watch as others died around me. I still don't like small spaces; the feeling of being trapped and helpless. But I can talk about it and it's easier to get through each day. It might take time, but if you can be patient you'll be fine."

It sounded easy enough 'just talk', but Liara had a sinking feeling that she wouldn't know where to begin; how was she supposed to open up without revealing everything? It would be better to just forget.

* * *

Shepard strolled around the mess hall, checking that all the children were eating, stopping occasionally to say a few words of comfort and reassurance. Her mind was half on the med-bay where she really wanted to be by her lover's side and half on her duty. Sometimes it seemed like all she ever did was put strangers at the top of her list of priorities, but it wasn't something she knew how to stop; there were always so many people that needed help, and so few willing to offer that extra hand.

Apart from Liara and Aethyta the entire rescue team had stayed to help the new arrivals settle in. They were understandably wary. The two teens that they'd had to restrain to stop them attacking were standing with their backs to the wall, observing the solders critically as they ate, chewing in slow calculating bites. Most of the other children were huddled together in pairs and threes, but they were beginning to look a lot more relaxed the longer they sat and ate. Conversation bubbled up in short bursts. Though there was one small girl who stood away from the others.

She was about eight years old, had long mousey brown hair and plain but well-proportioned features. Her right hand clutched the protein ration she'd been handed and her left held tight to the back of Jack's baggy trousers. Her hair hung low over her eyes to hide half her face, but occasionally she would look through the gap in the curtain and watch the soldiers. Once or twice Shepard caught her eye, but before she could try smiling at the girl she was hidden behind her hair again.

Jack stood pretending that she wasn't at all aware of the small figure clinging to her; she had no idea how to deal with being the source of comfort for the kid so she'd settled for ignoring the awkwardness she felt and stared down the occasional raised eyebrow from those who knew her better.

Seeing that most of the others were beginning to yawn, Shepard decided it was time to send them off to their rooms. First though she thought they would probably want a few answers. With a quick hand gesture the adults all stopped talking and turned to face the Commander; startled by the abrupt shift the children quickly followed suit.

"Ok guys, it's been a long day for all of us and a cranky Commander is something no one here wants to see." A few huffs of laughter rose from the crew and one or two of the older children cracked a smile. "We've set up a dozen cots on this deck, six in the starboard observation and six to port. There are members of my crew on duty through the night. I've assigned a liaison to each of your rooms; they'll be close by if you need anything," she paused to see if there were any questions, eyeing the teens at the back who were whispering discretely to one another. "Guys," she gently called their attention. "Questions?"

The teens exchanged a conspiratory glance before the shorter one spoke up. Her auburn hair was tied back in a tight pony tail and her grey eyes flashed at Shepard with ill-concealed distrust. "Are we prisoners?"

"No, you can come and go when you like. This is a military vessel though, so there will be areas that are off limits," the Commander replied calmly.

The taller teen had short blond hair and hazel green eyes. His shoulders were wide, but there wasn't a whole lot of meat on him. He had the kind of build that gave him natural athleticism and Shepard couldn't help but think that with the right attitude and training he'd make a good soldier. "So who the fuck are you and where are you taking us?"

Shepard considered the question and wondered how much they knew about what had transpired in the galaxy. "Let me ask you a question first, if you don't mind," she paused for a response but none came. "What do you know about the Reapers?"

There were one or two of the younger children, who looked to be around 9/10 years old and sported a sudden look of recognition, but the two eldest and most of the others looked blank. Shepard pointed to one of the younger ones and leant forward over the table as she politely asked the pale red head to tell them his name and what he knew.

"I'm Ewan," he muttered nervously, looking around at the others for support. "My big brother Harry, he told me they were giant monster machines that eat whole planets." He looked around at the faces of his peers and on seeing their interest found a little more confidence to speak. The crew were listening intently, particularly those who had accompanied Shepard in those early days; they were all curious to hear their story from a young child who could have only been about 5 years old at the time. "There was this one called Sovereign and it ate the Citadel, but a soldier led an army to blow it up and he saved the Council and they made him a Spectre and he blew up all the Geth and…"

"Commander Shepard wasn't a man," an indignant voice suddenly rose from across the table, coming from a girl of a similar age. "And Reapers don't eat planets stupid."

"Hey hey, there's no need for that," Shepard intervened calmly. "Stories like this often get mixed up with fiction," she turned to the now sulking red head, "Especially by older brothers who want to tell a scary and exciting story to their younger brothers; Harry must have had quite the imagination." She winked at him and his pout twitched into a smile. "You are right though," she added, now facing the girl. "The Reapers don't eat planets; they are sentient machines and they were trying to destroy us. I am a Spectre, but the last time I looked I wasn't a man."

"You sure about that Shepard?" Garrus joked, his mandibles rising with his grin.

"As sure as I am that I'll be the queen of the bottle shooters," she shot back at him, "As soon as you give me a re-match."

"I think I'll retire undefeated, thanks."

"You're Commander Shepard!?" The red-headed boy's eyes widened in awe as he stared at her.

The sullen looking girl who had insulted him earlier narrowed her eyes. "I heard you got spaced."

Shepard nodded, "I did. I died." They were all looking at her now like she was mad. She hesitated to tell them that the organisation that'd held them captive was responsible for her resurrection, but it would all come out eventually, and it was better coming from her. "I woke up two years later on a table in a Cerberus lab," their expressions ranged between suspicious and confused, but none commented. "I didn't ask them to bring me back, but I'm not sorry to be alive." Shepard looked round at her crew; she could see that they shared her dilemma regarding how much information to tell the children. There were so many details it would take all night to tell the whole story and she was supposed to be reassuring them so they could go to bed and rest.

"Shepard," EDI spoke up from the back of the room, grabbing everyone's attention. "There was no data in the files to suggest any knowledge of the Reapers."

Garrus shifted from one foot to the other. "That doesn't make sense. The Illusive Man was pulling in resources from all over the galaxy to take control, why leave this cell dark?"

"When the fu-…" Jack stopped halfway through the curse, biting her tongue as she'd taught herself to do while working with her kids. The mousey girl at her waist lifted her head to look up at the skinny biotic. "I mean… aw crap; I can't think of anything clean to say about that…"

"Asshole?" Teengirl offered.

"Dickhead?" Teenboy countered, then…

"Fucker?" They added together causing a few raised eyebrows and giggles around the room.

Jack chuckled as the tension in the room dissipated. "Yeah, all of the above," she agreed with arms folded across her compact chest. "Since when has anything he did made sense?"

"Well it's not like we have the option of asking him anymore," the Commander reminded them. "We're just going to have to dig for information the old fashioned way." She turned back to the children, eager now to wrap things up. "Guys, I know you need answers, but there's just not enough time to get through everything tonight. We have a ship in orbit and a heap load of engineers to get the Normandy space worthy again. By the looks of things we'll be here at least another week, after that we'll set a course back to Earth.

"The Alliance has a program specifically for reuniting families, but the war caused a lot of damage so I need you to be patient. We'll do the best we can to find each of you a home." Their expressions didn't change much and Shepard suspected they were all too tired and shell shocked to appreciate what it all meant for their future. "For now, get as much rest as you can. I've been told that as soon as your friends in the med-bay are up and about the crew wants to welcome you officially to the Normandy with a bonfire, and knowing my crew there will probably be lots of food and a few games too. So get some sleep and I'll see you all for breakfast."

One by one the children stood wearily and followed a crewman to their sleeping area.

Jane dismissed her crew and told them that she would be around to oversee the start of the repairs at 0600 the next morning so work would be underway before the kids came in for breakfast. As the room cleared the Commander felt her shoulders slump; she was exhausted. All she wanted to do was lie down next to Liara and sleep.

She glanced over towards med-bay and spotted the beautiful asari talking intently with her father. Shepard wanted to join them; wanted to be there for her partner who'd been through a horrific experience, but there was still one last thing she needed to do tonight.

The war room was empty as she passed through; maintenance hadn't been so sorely needed since the end of the war and with the ship now grounded it was no longer a priority to keep the room fully functional. Shepard slipped through into the com-room where she'd spent a lot of the last few months speaking with Admiral Hackett and various other dignitaries. Accessing the rarely used manual controls, the Commander contacted the Cornucopia.

Ten minutes later she hung up, satisfied that everything was in order and that repairs would begin first thing in the morning. She'd also ordered regular patrols of the local system as a precaution; the last thing they needed was to be caught unaware while they were divided.

Wearily Shepard made her way back down the access ladder to the med-bay, only to find that Chakwas had already given her patient permission to leave. Liara's quarters also proved to be empty, other than Glyph who seemed to hover around the monitors in anticipation of being given a task.

"I guess you haven't seen her either then," Shepard muttered to the drone.

Rubbing her eyes with the heel of each hand she let out an exasperated sigh. Thinking that perhaps her lover just needed time with her father or even some time to work things out alone, the Commander resigned herself to return to her quarters. Perhaps a hot shower would help to wake her up then she could take another look around.

She climbed back up the access ladder and was reminded of Diana. She'd never given much thought to the tight skirted reporter before. She regretted the loss of life, but she wouldn't lose sleep over it, not like with Gabby. Having her bickering duo back in engineering had made all the difference during their pursuit of Cerberus and the Catalyst; the Normandy just hadn't felt complete without them and she supposed it never would again. The ship would be flying again in no time, but without another piece of its soul.

* * *

While waiting for Shepard to return to her cabin T'Soni had been actively pushing her sorrows into the deepest darkest part of her mind, where she kept the memories of her mother's death, being hunted by Saren's minions, her lover's sacrifice to save Joker, her guilt over losing Feron, and now the loss of her child.

Karin hadn't noticed. The changes in her hormones must have been too small to register, or else they were masked by the drugs in her system. Cerberus had taken so much from her, but she couldn't escape the fact that without them she wouldn't have Shepard. It seemed like the cruellest fate, but perhaps she deserved it. She'd hidden her intentions from her lover, had deceived her by omission and taken liberties with the Commander's body. She felt unclean… ashamed. It had been easier to think it had still been a good idea before she knew the other woman was alive.

_Goddess help me; I still don't regret it, _Liara thought as she realised that, given the chance she wouldn't change what she'd done.

If anyone had found out that she'd mapped the Commander's DNA without her permission or knowledge she knew that she'd be branded worse than a pure blood for the rest of her life; non-consensual procreation was a serious offence in asari society.

She couldn't help but miss the little life. As primitive as the connection had been; a few cells firing messages, it had grown bit by bit, day after day and it was jarring to feel the emptiness that was left behind.

Liara wrapped her arms around her torso and willed Jane to hurry 'home'. Even if the Commander couldn't change what was done, her presence alone would be enough to sooth the asari's mind.

* * *

Jane was relieved to reach 'the loft'; just a few more steps and she would begin to feel like she was finally home.

The door whooshed open in front of her, granting access to her sanctuary and there, standing in the ambient light from the fish tank was the asari archaeologist she'd been looking for.

Their eyes locked instantly, a thousand words of comfort and reassurance passing unspoken between them. Mutely Shepard moved forward, wrapping her arms around a slender blue waist. Liara's normally blue gaze swam with swirls of ebony and Shepard eagerly welcomed the beginning of a meld. Liara locked her arms around the Commander's neck as she threw their consciousnesses together, feeling warm for the first time in weeks. Both women sighed their relief into the other's shoulder, glad to be together again at last.

Shepard nuzzled into the folds that began at the base of Liara's crest, enjoying the familiar scent of her lover. There were no words that could describe the feeling of being with Liara without impending doom hanging over them. As the asari's fingers made their way into her hair Jane felt a spark excitement flutter down her spine and settle into a steady throb further south. Shepard's hands moved to grasp round hips; much firmer than normal. The sudden pressure of two blue lips against her throat and a quiet hum of pleasure near her ear pushed all concerns right out of her head.

_Need you, _the asari's voice whispered inside the Commander's head, tasting of desperation and desire in equal measure.

Jane groaned but didn't allow the attention to linger. With adrenaline fuelled strength the Commander moved against her lover and turned them so Liara was pressed against the aquarium and then lifted so that slender legs could wrap around her waist.

"Shep-…" Liara began before her words were smothered by the Commander's searching lips. Shepard's hips pressed into her, a rhythm already building in time with the strokes of her tongue. The young asari felt her arousal crash into her hard and fast; needing skin on skin contact she began to tug ineffectually at the Commander's Alliance-issue t-shirt.

_Off! _Liara demanded with a firm tug. The garment was most annoying and needed to disappear before she decided to just destroy the damned thing.

Shepard eventually got the idea and released her lover's lips long enough to consider her next move. To undress she would have to release the blue beauty and in her opinion that wasn't an option. With fierce determination Shepard shifted their weight and carried Liara to the bed, smirking at the asari's surprised squeak.

Jane knelt in the middle of the bed. Liara's legs still circled her hips, but her knees had fallen open slightly and her arms lay sprawled out above her head, giving the woman a wanton appearance. Shepard's mind swam with their shared thoughts and lidded blue eyes gazed at her knowingly; Jane had to physically shake herself to break from the spell. Bringing her hands down to her waist she began to remove her own top only to be stopped by a soft touch and a quiet 'allow me'. Timid fingers lifted the hem of her shirt and slowly raised it over the Commander's head revealing a body taught with toned muscle and interspersed with battle scars. Jane looked into her lover's eyes and noticed a sudden shyness and insecurity. The change in tempo stumped her momentarily; Liara had been gentle with her before, and there had been nights of insistent passion too, but never had they flitted so quickly from one to the other.

Feeling Shepard's hesitation the asari worked on calming the storm of emotions that were still simmering, but she knew straight away that it wasn't working well.

"Liara, we don't have to do this now," Shepard rolled onto her side but kept a close hold on her lover. "We have all the time in the world now love."

The blue beauty shook her head, not quite believing that their luck was that good. How many times had Jane cheated death now? "I want to feel you. I need to feel you."

Shepard felt a spike of fear across the meld and couldn't help searching for the source. Her lover had been jumpy since they'd found her barricaded in that control room and the Commander's instincts told her that there was more to it than having endured Cerberus' torture.

"Shepard," Liara voice warned as Jane's mind searched for answers.

The Commander felt her lover's annoyance hit her and realised suddenly that her curiosity was crossing the line into intrusion. She relaxed her thoughts and felt a flush of embarrassment suffuse her face. "Crap, I'm sorry Liara, I wasn't thinking."

The young asari sighed; she was a hypocrite to scold Jane for taking advantage of the meld when she'd already done much worse, but she wasn't ready to discuss those dark thoughts yet. She knew she was being selfish, wanting comfort and release while deceiving Shepard through her silence. She was afraid that this would be their last time together; terrified that her actions had jeopardised any prospect of a long term relationship. Again she was letting fear fuel her choices and getting lost in the addictive comfort her lover's touch provided.

"It's ok," Liara soothed, hands slipping back around a trim waist to trail fingers down Shepard's spine. "We will talk, I promise. I want you to know everything. Right now though, I just want to be with you like this."

Shepard nodded in understanding, leaning in again for another slow burning kiss. The interruption had dampened their immediate desire a little, but it was still there, simmering under the surface and with kisses and caresses in all the right places it was easy to find again.

Gradually each piece of clothing fell to the floor and newly exposed skin was greeted with a loving touch of fingers, lips and tongue. What had begun as a hurried expression of desperate relief had changed into the tender exploration they always found when they made love.

Liara let her fingers glide slowly up and down the Commander's back while Shepard settled between her legs and resumed kissing her.

Jane's hands moved deliberately, exploring Liara's body, getting to know the feel of her again and enjoying the pleading gasps and hitched breaths she got in response. She had difficulties tearing herself away from Liara's kisses but eventually left the luscious lips to dip her tongue into the hollow at the base of the asari's throat.

"Hmm," Shepard hummed as her lover arched into her touch. "I love it when you do that."

Liara looked down at the Commander who'd left a wet path from her throat to the valley between her breasts. "Do what?" she asked breathlessly.

Jane leant up on her arms and grinned before lowering her head to Liara's throat again. She dipped her tongue into the same hollow and used the tip to lick from there to the end of the asari's chin, moving with her lover as she arched again and let out a small whimper.

"That," she told her while retracing the path with her fingers. "I love how easily you respond to my touch," she added in an affectionate whisper.

Liara smiled a saucy half-smile and lifted a hand to caress the Commander's face. "Well, I love your touch. I hope you're not thinking of stopping now."

"Just savouring the moment," Jane assured her.

T'Soni narrowed her eyes in mock seriousness. "Break time's over," she informed the Commander firmly and added a heated, "Back to work."

Jane leant in for a brief but intense kiss, the demanding tone form her lover sparking a new wave of arousal. "Yes ma'am."

* * *

Dr T'Soni sighed with relief as she finally felt her lover's breathing even out in a tell-tale sign of slumber. Jane's body was wrapped loosely around the asari from behind, spooning her lovingly after the last hour's exertion. In the entire time they'd had as lovers there had been only a few occasions when they'd had the chance to sleep together after the meld, but Liara regretted that she couldn't entirely enjoy it. The last time they'd been together had been before returning to Earth to defeat the Reapers once and for all. She'd done something that her mother, had she lived to know of it, would probably have disowned her for, but that night, for the first time in years she'd managed to sleep well.

Liara rubbed her stomach with a free hand and felt a stray tear escape, falling silently onto the pillow. Now that she was no longer in Shepard's mind and Shepard in hers, she felt empty again. Several times she'd tried searching for the little flicker of life, and even though she knew it was futile she felt a fresh wave of disappointment hit her every time.

She had no idea how long she'd been crying before she felt the body behind her stir. She tried valiantly to cover up the sounds of her whimpers before they woke Jane up entirely but it was hard when she wanted the comfort of the Commander's words so much.

"Liara," the Commander mumbled sleepily. She blinked for a couple of seconds as she got her bearings. Her lover's body rather than being relaxed in post coital bliss, was curling in on itself and the quiet hiccoughs that had woken her were beginning to sound more hysterical by the second. "Sweet-heart, what's wrong?"

Getting no answer Jane gently but firmly turned Liara over so they were face to face and with hardly any encouragement managed to pull the stricken asari into her arms. She rocked the young woman and spoke soothing words to her for what felt like an eternity before Liara's heavy sobs tapered off into a few sniffs and hitched breaths.

"I'm sorry," T'Soni croaked into the human's shoulder, the words barely passing the tight lump in her throat.

"Hey, none of that," Jane cooed. "There's nothing for you to be sorry for."

These words, spoken with such conviction nearly sent the young doctor off on another bout of hysteria, but she soon regained control of her senses. It was time for her to come clean with her lover and the only person she had to blame for her situation was herself. She wasn't the sort of person who gave into self-pity; there was no use in it.

With a deep breath the asari extracted herself from the comfort of the Commander's arms and wearily pushed her body into a sitting position. Jane followed suit, the concern she felt clearly visible on her face. She felt Liara retreating from her hold and instinctively entwined their hands, needing the physical reassurance.

"Liara, what is it? What did they do to you in there?"

Liara shook her head as she heard the accusation and anger in the Commander's tone. "It was not at all pleasant, but I will recover, in time. There is another matter I must discuss with you. Something I should have discussed with you before I… before I chose to take action without your consent."

Jane was clearly confused now, but remained her usual calm self. "Alright," she said softly, giving the asari the green light.

"Ok," Liara closed her eyes briefly before beginning her confession. "I took… something from you. I violated your trust and broke one of the asari's longest standing laws." She paused to will the tears to stop falling, but now that they had an outlet they didn't seem to want to stop. "I couldn't stand the thought of losing you, not again. I needed to keep a piece of you…" Her voice broke under the strain and all she managed to say was another 'I'm sorry' before it failed her entirely and she had to bury her face in her hands.

Shepard's face was a mixture of sorrow and understanding as she pulled the distressed biotic back into her arms. It hadn't taken her long to figure out what her lover was trying to say and to her it made perfect sense for Liara to do what she'd done. It was wrong, but she understood her reasons for doing it.

Shepard pulled her lover's face into her hands. She placed a gentle kiss on each cheek then one on her lips. With the pads of each thumb she wiped away the tracks of tears and looked into azure eyes.

"You're pregnant?" Jane asked gently, careful not to make her tone sound accusatory. She expected a guilty nod so was surprised when the asari shook her head instead. "That's not what you were talking about?"

Liara had to swallow several times before she could speak. The confusion on the Commander's face gave her the strength to finish what she had to say; she hated leaving Jane in the dark. "I was," she confessed in a breath. "I was so sure that you were going to leave me again; the odds were stacked against you. I knew that if you had to sacrifice your life to save the galaxy you would. I mapped your DNA the night before we landed on Earth."

Shepard frowned, "Then why…" It suddenly dawned on her and she felt herself turn pale. "You were carrying our child and I… I left you in charge of the Normandy. I ordered you to put yourself in harm's way to protect the ship."

Liara shook her head not liking where Shepard's thoughts were going. "Jane, you didn't know. You couldn't have known. You did what was best for this crew, like you always have. There's nothing for you to be ashamed of." The Commander felt soft hands and words trying to comfort her, but in that moment of realisation something inside her cracked. She pulled away sharply, ignoring the shocked gasp from her lover as she leapt off the bed and stalked the length of the room.

"I am so sick of this!" She fumed, her anger bursting forth after the years she'd kept a lid on it. Always the diplomat, the peacemaker, the paragon. Always willing to put everyone else's needs before her own.

She had wrestled with the idea of turning command over to her lover for hours before making the final decision; struggled with the knowledge that while she was certain she was making the best choice as a senior officer, she would inevitably be putting the woman she loved in danger. The Alliance was so ingrained into her psyche that protecting her crew and the interests of others was always a priority, but now she'd had enough.

"I should have just stuck to the chain of command. How can I be the best partner for you if I'm willing to put you in the line of fire? How have you put up with me all this time?"

Liara rolled off the side of the bed and slipped a navy-blue robe around her naked body. She padded over to the concealed wall closet and removed another identical robe which she wrapped around Jane's shoulders. She didn't say a word as she waited for the Commander to slide her arms into the sleeves and loosely tie the belt in front. It was a simple gesture of comfort but had the desired effect of calming the human down.

"I have never 'put up with' you. If you weren't the strong altruistic person you are I'm not sure I would have ever fallen for you. At least I might not have fallen for you so completely." Liara made sure to look the Commander in the eye as she whispered sincerely, "I love you Jane."

The words hit home, but Shepard wasn't quite placated yet. "How can I claim to love you when I'm willing to risk your life so often?"

"I'm still here. You're faith in me wasn't misplaced," Liara tried reasoning.

"But our child?" Shepard didn't notice the sudden moisture on her cheeks; she couldn't focus on anything but the guilt she felt she deserved for their daughter's death. She had always regretted losing lives, even synthetic life, but nothing compared to the despair she felt in this moment.

Liara faltered for a moment. She couldn't say that it was ok, that would be a lie. All she could try to do was to share some of the asari philosophy; that they should not dwell on the past or spend too long waiting for the future, but only appreciate what they had in the moment. "It is painful to feel the space that she filled," she admitted honestly. "We will mourn Shepard, like many others are mourning at this moment. We will heal in time. She will always be in our hearts and we will try again; properly next time." She watched a tear fall from her lover's chin and felt one of her own escape. With careful fingers she reached up to wipe the Commander's cheeks then attended to her own. Jane seemed to take her words in but still her head shook slightly and Liara knew that the human wasn't letting go of her guilt.

Feeling annoyed all of a sudden the asari huffed and put some distance between them. She sat on the edge of the bed and lay her head in her hands for a moment, thinking. Before long her head shot up again.

"Who would have been the next in line if you hadn't decided to put me in charge? Garrus? Tali maybe? Neither one of them could have survived the injections. A simple hallucinogenic would have killed them in an instant." Realising from Shepard's expression that she finally had the Commander's attention Liara continued. "What about Traynor? She's good with the tech, brilliant even," she admitted reluctantly, though not without a trace of jealousy (she still hadn't forgiven the young woman for trying to seduce her partner). "But has she ever been in a fight? Who else is there? Karin? Engineer Adams? Does either of them have field experience?"

Shepard sighed and moved heavily towards the bed, dragging her feet with each step. "I think you've made your point," she grumbled shortly.

"I don't think I have," Liara insisted. "You make command decisions based on the resources and information you have available, and you do a damn good job of it. You wouldn't have been able to defeat the Reapers if you didn't. You are not responsible for this loss. Please, do not let this tragedy change who you are."

The pleading tone of the asari's voice finally reached something inside the Commander and she managed to nod in agreement; it made sense logically. "I'm tired Liara," she accepted the blue arms that wrapped around her torso and sank her head onto a slender shoulder. "I'm tired of fighting. I'm tired of fixing everyone else's problems. I'm tired of being responsible for their safety when all I want to do is spend time with you."

Liara stroked the short dark hair on her lover's head and rocked her gently as Jane had done for her earlier. The unexpected vulnerability surprised and humbled her somewhat; the Commander had always been strong and determined, never giving up. It was time someone looked out for her for a change.


	7. Chapter 7

**I spent what little time I had, while not making sugar flowers, reading through the next few chapters to check that they're ready to be uploaded. Still plenty to come before the end. I'm polishing off chapter eighteen right now but also playing with chapter ten a bit too, which is why they're still just trickling in.**

SEVEN

Jack waited until most of the crew had gone their separate ways and the night watch was fully in effect before climbing back up to deck three. She walked wraith-like through the mess area to the med-bay, wishing not for the first time that she could change her mind and just sleep without the weight of her guilt pressing down on her. Though if she was honest with herself it wasn't just her conscience that she needed to satisfy; Miranda meant something to her and she needed to know that the other woman was ok.

Chakwas was still at her desk when the slim biotic stalked into the room and Karin couldn't help but smile at her suddenly awkward demeanour.

"Thought you'd be in bed by now doc," Jack said in an almost accusatory tone.

The doctor didn't bat an eyelid. "Someone needs to be here round the clock just in case. My shift doesn't finish till 0200, and then I'll be back in again at 1200."

Jack shifted her feet and searched for something to say. "Sounds shitty," she finally commented.

"It can be exhausting," Chakwas agreed as she stood and gathered a few data pads. "If you promise not to touch anything I can work outside and give you some privacy."

Jack's gaze flicked towards her lover's bed then back to the doctor. She hated the assumption that she would want to be alone with the XO, but appreciated the thought all the same. Not trusting what might come out of her mouth Jack simply nodded and made room for the doctor to pass by. She stood there a few moments longer hesitating, her brows pulled together in a sign of intense inner thought while she willed her legs to move. Once at Miranda's side the psychotic biotic pushed both hands deep into her pant pockets and heaved a sigh of frustration.

"See, this is why you should never let yourself give a shit. Someone always fucks up and people you… you get along with," she grimaced at the phrase, knowing it was all wrong but not being able to give her feelings another name. "They get hurt." She kicked the base of the bed with the toe of her boot.

"It sucks. We're God damned fools for letting it happen, y'know? Sex is supposed to be easy, no strings, no responsibility… no crappy feelings."

Jack began to pace as she spoke to the unconscious room. Everything she said made sense in her head, but none of it felt right. The time when she could have comfortably walked away had long passed; she was in deep but could not yet admit it, even within her own thoughts.

One thing the usually remorseless biotic had accepted was her over-reaction and pointless anger at her lover for keeping quiet about other Cerberus facilities like Teltin. Miranda had proven her loyalties to Shepard and Jack, and her own moral convictions, yet at the first sign of trouble Jack had assumed the worst.

"And look what happened," the ex-convict muttered as she stopped pacing and leant against the foot of the bed.

She wanted to blame it on her past; Cerberus had fucked her over and so had every other person she'd tried to connect with, but the excuse didn't rub this time; there hadn't been the same warning signs as before.

She looked up from staring at clenched hands to the peaceful expression that adorned Miranda's face in sleep. They were useless at talking to each other; neither one of them had a good foundation in social niceties so when they did try to talk inevitably they ended up arguing, and eventually broke the tension with sex. It wasn't perfect. It probably wasn't even particularly healthy, but it was the best they could manage and at least they were equally matched in that area.

For Jack it was still a mystery that Miranda was even the tiniest bit attracted to her, let alone being on the verge of entering into a relationship. "What the hell do you see in me?" It wasn't like the ex-operative was what she thought of as her type either. She was uptight, stubborn… cold even; she was methodical in almost every aspect of her life whereas Jack had always been a more 'fly by the seat of her pants' kind of person. "You hate what I wear, complain about my foul language… and it's not like you can take me anywhere," she reasoned out loud, remembering the rare occasions that she'd tried, for Miranda's sake, to behave somewhat normally. "Face it Princess, you really scraped the barrel with me."

Jack moved slowly round the bed, trailing nail bitten fingers in her wake and touching as much of the other woman as she dared. At Miranda's head the young criminal stopped and stared down at the prone figure. Without thinking she ran her fingers back down a deceptively slender arm and entwined their digits.

"I don't know if there's any chance for us," she began in a small broken voice. She felt uncomfortably self-conscious and like a complete ass, but for once went on regardless. "You'd be better off with anyone but me. Someone who could take you out to all those fancy restaurants and knows all the right words to say to tell you how much you mean to them." Jack paused remembering for a moment all the times she'd spouted something stupid instead of just being honest and taken the risk of looking like a love sick idiot. "Shit, you have to know how useless I am by now."

She closed her eyes tightly, willing away the sudden sting of tears; she'd given up feeling sorry for herself many years ago. "I should leave, should call it off now and let you have a proper life." Opening her dark eyes again Jack shook her head and barked a short depreciating laugh. "But I'm much too selfish and possessive to do that. You're mine… I don't want anyone else touching you. I need you," she added with fierce longing.

Jerking into a stiff stance the volatile young woman rolled her shoulders and neck. With a brief smile she leant down and planted a brief but heavy kiss on Miranda's lips then spoke huskily into her ear. "Get better then get your ass out of bed Princess. It's fuckin' dull out here without you."

With those parting words Jack made her way out of the med-bay, ignoring the doctor as she swung down onto an access ladder to head for the cargo-bay. She had excess energy to burn and knew that Shepard's latest pretty boy had left a decent punching bag down there. If she was lucky it would hold out for half an hour.

* * *

The sun shone high in the sky as a certain Turian sniper stepped foot outside the Normandy for the first time in twenty-four hours. Looking around he suddenly appreciated how beautiful this planet was. The foliage was vibrant; bright greens interspersed with a plethora of scarlet, burnt orange, virgin white, deep violet and so many other colours that he soon gave up naming them. Dominating the skyline were giants in mountain form, their snowy caps giving them an air of divinity as they stretched towards the clouds, and from all around came the sounds of water; tinkling, pouring, cascading; over rocks and through trees, lending a strange echoing effect to all the bubbling chatter.

It was still a mystery to all of them how such a prime planet for habitation, so close to Earth, had not been colonised. How had Cerberus managed to hide an entire planet and why had the project here been left in the dark during the Reaper invasion? None of it made sense.

Garrus tore his gaze from the scenery and proceeded to the rear thrusters where he opened up the nearest maintenance hatch and began poking around inside.

The morning after their raid on the Cerberus base a repair crew had arrived at 0600 sharp and Shepard had immediately set them to work. A day later and the ex-C-Sec officer actually found himself impressed with their efficiency.

As the Normandy was originally part Turian in design Garrus had always found himself almost at home on the ship from the beginning. Now with so many repairs underway he was a hot commodity. The Commander had taken on the responsibility of shepherding the children so had delegated leadership of the repair crews to him.

Thinking about Shepard reminded him of the conversation he wanted to have with her. Many of the crew had noticed the change in her behaviour; she was distracted, sombre and opted to spend most of her time alone. Although she and Liara shared the Commander's cabin now and their first breakfast reunited under Shepard's command had been relaxed, more recently a noticeable tension had appeared between them. Today they'd barely spoken to one another all day though they worked within a team to train their newly rescued biotics.

Shepard, Liara, Aethyta and Jack were working with the children in a small clearing north of the Normandy's position, teaching them how to use their powers safely and effectively without the sadistic methods used by Cerberus. The Commander had split them into two groups of under eights and over eights. They were almost even in numbers with the under eights totalling eight children, two of which had yet to be released by the doctor and were observing from the side-lines. That left six in the over eights.

It disturbed the whole crew to see that so many young lives had been exploited in such a way, to say nothing of the tiny bodies they'd transferred to the Normandy from the morgue. The children, particularly the older ones, were slow to trust, but little by little they were beginning to open up and show their individual personalities.

Shepard had tried to talk with the two eldest teens but got very little in response so gave the job to Jack, hoping that a less authoritative figure would persuade them to relax a little. It was slow progress, but progress never the less so Shepard stuck with it, though to balance out Jack's aggressive nature she asked Liara to team up with the ex-convict. While Miranda was still incapacitated the Commander had asked Aethyta to assist her with the younger children, a task that the matriarch took to remarkably well.

The Turian continued to ponder absentmindedly about the Shepard quandary while he worked. It took him an hour to complete the job, long enough for the Commander and her group of teachers and students to return to the Normandy before nightfall. The promised celebratory barbecue was to go ahead tonight; the non-technical minded amongst the crew having spent the day gathering kindling in another clearing and setting up seating, blankets and other provisions to keep them all comfortable and entertained.

As Garrus closed the maintenance hatch and packed away his tools he noticed a figure exit swiftly from the Normandy and move with agitated haste towards the woodland area a short distance from their site. He recognised the person's gait almost immediately; it was Shepard.

A quick glance around confirmed that no one else had seen the Commander's chosen path. He figured that she probably wanted to be alone to sort out whatever was bothering her, but he couldn't guarantee getting another chance to talk to his friend alone any time soon, and maybe, just maybe she really needed someone to listen to her problems for a change.

Placing his toolbox in an out of the way spot, Garrus strolled towards the trees and followed the Commander's footsteps. He hadn't walked very far when he spotted her. She'd found one of the many streams that ran along the south side of camp and had climbed up onto a large boulder where she sat hunched up, occasionally flicking small stones into the water. She looked completely lost and to his dismay he could see that she'd been crying. She looked up briefly as she noticed his approach but didn't bat an eyelid before turning back to her task.

"You know, this sort of target practice isn't going to win you that title," he quipped as he looked for somewhere to sit nearby.

Shepard cracked a sad smile, but remained reticent. Her throat and eyes burned with anger and sorrow; she knew that any words coming out of her mouth would sound terrible. She continued to flick the small projectiles from between her forefinger and thumb for a few more minutes, taking deep cleansing breaths between each launch while the Turian sat patiently waiting for her to find the strength to talk.

"How did you know where I was? Did Liara send you?" She asked finally, her shoulders seeming to stiffen up ever so slightly when she mentioned her partner.

"I was working on the hull; saw you escaping into the forest and figured I'd better try to keep you out of trouble." Garrus saw her relax when she realised that no one had sent him and it worried him that she felt the need to hide. "I'm guessing this has to be about Liara then."

Shepard hung her head and nodded. "I don't know what to do Garrus."

The Turian cringed inwardly at the desolation in her voice, wondering how he was supposed to help his friend when she seemed so desperate. "I don't have a great deal of experience with relationships, and no experience with asari lovers, but I'll listen if you want to tell me what's going on."

Jane wiped her eyes then took a deep breath and stared into the churning water as she began to explain. "Liara wants to have a kid and I'm not so sure we're ready to get into that right now.

"She insists that we make a decision before leaving for Earth 'cause she thinks she's going to lose me to the Alliance and all the political fallout since the end of the war. I want to wait 'till we're settled so we can focus on being parents and not divide our time between duties. She still has all the Shadow Broker stuff that she's so into for Christ's sake." Shepard launched a stone into the water with a little more power and they both watched as it cut through the water and disturbed the silt below.

"I know it seems like a dumb question, but have you explained the reasons why you want to wait?"

"She doesn't want to listen," Shepard grumbled to herself.

"Does that mean you didn't try, or you did try but you weren't very persistent?"

A tear escaped from the Commander's closed eyes as she tried again to compose herself. "I can't reason with her Garrus. She's still suffering from her ordeal, and I can't seem to make myself heard without shouting at her; she doesn't deserve that, not after all she's been through." Jane wiped her sleeve across her face, not caring that it probably looked disgusting. "Those assholes; they ruined everything. We wouldn't be having this discussion if it wasn't for them. We would already be blessed," she added with a whisper.

Liara had not specifically told Jane not to tell anyone of their loss, but discretion was implied after she explained the seriousness of her transgression. The weight of the secret was taking its toll on the Commander though; she needed to confide in someone, just so that she could talk about how she felt without hurting Liara anymore.

"That sounds like more than dealing with a few sadistic experiments," Garrus prodded insightfully.

Shepard nodded. "Before this whole thing… Before we made it back to Earth to launch the Crucible, Liara and I… She wanted to keep a piece of me, just in case I didn't make it back," she struggled to make it sound like they'd planned it together without all out lying to her Turian comrade.

Garrus' mandible's twitched with surprise; he'd had no idea of his friend's condition. He felt a flush of guilt as he remembered the early failed rescue attempts he'd led towards the Cerberus base. "Liara was expecting?"

Shepard nodded. "What sort of parent or partner puts their family in the line of fire? I turned command over to Liara and now…"

Of course Shepard would feel awful; if he felt guilty for his failure to get the asari back, the Commander would be feeling ten times worse for having given the order in the first place. "You are by far the best Commander I've ever served under Shepard. I understand why you left Liara in charge; her instincts saved lives. When they were scouting for that anomalous signal she pulled back before they walked too far into enemy territory. I don't think I'd have noticed how Cerberus was beginning to close in, not as early as she did. Her singularity also gave the others an escape route. Your instincts about her were right."

"I sacrificed my child," Shepard seethed. She understood his point and was proud of her partner, but it still didn't erase the fact that as a person she was willing to put others ahead of her family. The conflict was tearing her apart inside.

"So did Liara," Garrus said firmly, gaining a frown from Shepard. "She knew the risk better than any of us. Better than you probably. She chose to accept command and stuck by her decision. Are you going to punish her the same way you're punishing yourself?"

Damn, she hadn't thought about that before. How did it seem to Liara that she hated herself for putting their child in danger? She hadn't even known about the pregnancy, but Liara had. Did the asari think Jane was accusing her of being equally calculating? Shepard cringed at the thought that she was causing her lover to feel even more guilty. "You have a point," she conceded reluctantly.

"So what are you going to do?"

Shepard closed her eyes and tried to find the words to sort out her other reservations. The morning after they'd cried in each other's arms, Jane had felt amazingly much better and together they'd spent the morning exchanging soft glances and fleeting touches.

Then some while later, in their cabin Liara had suggested they try again to make a baby and something in Shepard had flipped; she'd gone right back to wallowing in the responsibility she felt for the death of their first child and didn't believe that her lover could move on so easily. She also worried that Liara was still under the influence of the drugs in her system, which seemed proven by the shouting and crying that followed Jane's immediate refusal. Since then all they'd done was argue about it.

Today they'd returned from a relatively successful lesson with the children, both feeling upbeat about their efforts, but when Liara tried again to broach the subject of them getting pregnant the answer was again no. Shepard didn't get very far explaining her reasons for wanting to wait before the tears and yelling started again.

"You'd have been happy to have had a child with Liara before this whole thing with Cerberus?" Garrus asked, though he knew the answer.

"Yes, of course!"

"So it really doesn't matter when you choose to try again," he reasoned cautiously.

"How can she just forget? How can she move on so easily?"

"Who says she's forgotten?" Garrus demanded, now beginning to sound a little annoyed. "Shepard, you know Liara better than anyone, but I think you're assuming too much." Seeing her flinch he softened his tone a little. "Look, it's been a rough few years. In all the time you've been together she's never really had you all to herself; I wouldn't blame her for trying to find a way to tie you down, but I don't think she would do it, not like this at least. Can you deny her wanting to start a life with you? It's been on hold now for nearly four years."

"I want that too Garrus… So much," the Commander admitted softly. "I just don't want it to be a choice we make out of fear or desperation. And I don't want to feel like we're just replacing what we've lost."

"I think you need to give yourself more credit Shepard, and Liara too. Is that really what you think of her?"

Jane stared at him in surprise; the way he spoke made her consider the thought again. Did she really believe that Liara wanted to replace their daughter, or were these thoughts just unfounded fears? She cringed at how cold her thoughts appeared in hindsight. "God," she rubbed her hands over tired eyes. "No, you're right; she's better than that."

Garrus nodded, pleased that his friend seemed to be seeing the situation more clearly. "So what are you going to do about it?"

Shepard thought quietly for a few moments, considering her lover's proposition in a new light. "I want what she wants; a family." Jane laughed to herself, relief flowing through her at last. She tossed the last few stones carelessly aside and jumped off the boulder, landing smoothly next to her Turian companion. "Thank you Garrus. I didn't realise how backwards I was looking at everything. I'm glad you're here," she added, remembering what Liara had said about the chances of him surviving capture, and recalling his own admission that the asari's instincts had kept everyone alive. "I don't think I'll ever really forget my part in all this, but perhaps it's time I stopped accepting all the blame."

"Cerberus is to blame," he insisted. "If you keep blaming yourself then you have to accept that Liara is to blame too. Then there's me, Tali, the doc, and everyone who was here with her."

Shepard rubbed the back of her neck uncomfortably. "Since you put it like that, I don't suppose I have much choice."

Garrus smiled in triumph, "No you don't."

* * *

Shepard ignored all the curious stares and one protective glare as she made her way through the CIC towards the elevator. Aethyta could chew her out later if she liked, but right now she had a few things to fix.

The ride up in the newly repaired elevator was both too long and not long enough; she was eager to see Liara happy again, but anxious about how she would react at the same time. Could she word her thoughts clearly enough so that they wouldn't cause the asari more distress? She had to try.

Shepard entered her cabin to find her lover on the bed, curled up on her side and hugging Shepard's pillow. The Commander took a moment to remove her boots then climbed up onto the bed and lay down behind the blue beauty. Jane took a moment to enjoy the way the light fell on her lover's crest and reached up with adventurous fingers to caress the folds that trailed from the base of her skull to the space between her shoulder blades. She felt the other woman sigh and moved closer to plant a series of kisses along the path of her fingers.

"Shepard," Liara's tone revealed how tired she was and in it was an edge of exasperation. "If you're after what I think you're after then I hope you've reconsidered your decision."

Jane froze, anger rising rapidly from the meaning beneath the comment. Was the asari indicating that they couldn't be intimate until Jane agreed to sire a child with her!? The Commander bit her tongue sharply before she could give voice to her ire and took a moment to think. _I have to stop jumping to conclusions, _she told herself. Taking a deep steadying breath she quickly decided to ignore the comment.

"Do you know how beautiful you are?" She told her instead. Liara rolled towards her slightly, a confused expression on her face. Jane smiled. "I never really considered any asari to be much more attractive than my own species, but the first time I saw you I was completely besotted."

"Jane?"

Shepard raised herself up onto an elbow and continued to gaze down on her partner with every ounce of love she could find. "You were half delirious when we found you, and I felt terrible for choosing to check out the situation on Feros first. Once we had you on board I can't tell you how many times I pictured you as the damsel in distress with me as the brave knight riding to the rescue." She laughed and cheered inwardly when Liara cracked a smile. "I spent much more time than I should have talking to you when I was supposed to be filling out reports. If Anderson was still around he could show you how bad they really were!"

The Commander's thoughts soon turned from their initial meeting to the helplessness she'd felt when she'd come face to face with Liara again on Illium. "Then after Cerberus brought me back, all I wanted to do was see you again, but I waited until the mission needed me to go to Illium… I've almost always put duty ahead of you."

"You had very little choice," T'Soni reminded her yet again.

Shepard covered a blue hand with one of her own and squeezed it gently. "I know; under the circumstances it would have been irresponsible to do anything else, but I loathed every mission I lead before Illium because it meant being away from you so much longer."

Liara hung her head slightly, remembering the long days that had passed after the message of success had come through from Miranda. Every day was filled with equal amounts of dread and anticipation and she still hated remembering her behaviour when the Commander finally arrived. "I didn't exactly make you feel very welcome did I?"

Shepard shook her head. "You had two years thinking that you would probably never see me again. These last two weeks I've not known if you were alive… I can't imagine how two years would change me if I had to live without you."

They were silent for a short while, both thinking on the past and on how to make the present easier. "Liara, I hope you know how much I want to be a family with you. I don't want you to think that I've changed my mind. When you asked if we could try again all I could think about was that tiny life that I hadn't even had the chance to know, and I couldn't bare the idea that you were trying to replace her." Shepard watched as the understanding and patience in her lover's eyes gave way to a sudden flash of anger and braced herself for an onslaught.

"You thought… what!?" Liara felt the rage hit her hard and fast, catalysed by the lingering toxins in her system, but before she could begin to tear into Shepard the Commander put a finger to her purple lips and began talking rapidly.

"It was a stupid thought I know, and it wasn't the only one I had, I just couldn't see past the pain and fear, and I was caught between wanting to make you happy and needing time to deal with our loss… I wasn't thinking properly, I'm sorry."

Jane had slid off the bed and was kneeling in front of the asari, now with her head resting in Liara's lap and her hands wrapped desperately around a slim waist. Liara felt her anger drain away slowly and forced herself to run her fingers through Shepard's hair, the feel of it helped to calm her down more quickly. As her mind began to clear the young asari looked down on her lover and felt a pang of regret. Here she had reduced the great Commander Shepard to tears simply because Jane hadn't agreed to trying for another baby right away. It struck her suddenly that she had such power of this amazing woman and was instantly ashamed for trying to force the issue so much. After the anger came the tears again, though this time more out of sorrow for her lover than frustration.

When she spoke her voice cracked with emotion. "Oh Jane, I'm sorry too; I've been making a mess of this as well I know." She felt the Commander taking deep calming breaths and waited until the red head finally looked up at her. "I don't think either of us has been very good at talking lately."

"You're still recovering Liara. Chakwas says there's still a fair amount of drugs in your body; I can't even begin to imagine how you're feeling from one moment to the next. It changes so quickly sometimes I can't even remember what's triggered it." Shepard closed her eyes for a moment to find the words to explain her turbulent thoughts. "I want to be better for you, to make you my priority, but I just can't seem to get it right."

Liara flushed slightly with shame; Shepard was trying so hard to change her behaviour to suit the young Shadow Broker that she was compromising the strong will that made her such an amazing person, and all the asari could seem to do was shout at her. _It stops right now, _she thought with determination.

_The first thing to do is get her off the floor. _"Jane, please come and sit with me." Shepard slowly got to her feet then lowered herself next to her partner. One look in her eyes and Liara could see how tired and confused she was; she simply didn't know how to be anything but a soldier and now they were no longer at war, there was an air of uncertainty around the usually dashing human. "I know it can't be easy to talk to me. When we finish arguing and I've stopped crying I find it hard to understand why I said the things I said. As soon as I'm frustrated I get angry, and then when I see how much you're hurting I hate myself. I can't seem to stop it happening."

"You will, when your system is clear again."

"Oh Goddess I hope so," she whispered fervently. Jane placed a warm hand on her knee and Liara reached out for it, glad for the comfort. "You shouldn't be afraid to talk to me, or to stick to your convictions. If you're not ready for a baby… we should wait." She found it hard to say the words without sounding disappointed; all she could think about lately was feeling the light that came with a mating meld, and she wanted the human to experience it properly too. She could never forget the feeling of expecting her first child, but was still ready to be a parent with Shepard.

The Commander used her free hand to cup Liara's cheek and stroked away a stray tear. "Let's discuss it again when the doc gives you the all clear; when we're both a little more level-headed."

Liara looked hopefully into her partner's green eyes and saw her dreams reflected. Shepard wasn't saying 'no'; she wasn't even saying 'not yet', it was more like a promise of 'soon'. She nodded happily before echoing simple words spoken many months before, "Ok… ok."


	8. Chapter 8

**Have uploaded two chapters so make sure you read chapter 7 before this one.**

**I think this chapter's a bit clichéd but I like it nonetheless. Things are beginning to look up for Jane and Liara so a lot less angst for them for a while! I don't want you drowning in floods of tears JrB'! Thanks for the reviews guys, they really brighten up my work day, even when I've made someone cry! (mwahaha)**

EIGHT

Shepard and T'Soni lay curled into each other in the centre of the Commander's double bed, enjoying a period of much needed sleep, when the tranquillity was broken by an insistent banging on the door.

After spending some time discussing their plans for the future the Commander had begun to get ready to host their celebratory barbecue, but a few choice words from her partner had convinced her that she would be better off recharging her batteries for a couple of hours. Opening one eye Jane was greeted by her sleepy looking partner, whose grumpy expression immediately put a smile on Shepard's face.

When the banging came again Shepard sighed in defeat and rolled off the bed. A quick glance at the chronometer told her that she'd been asleep for just under two hours; not enough to feel really rested, but just enough to get her through the evening without collapsing.

"Alright! Alright!" She called out to the persistent person behind the door. Looking back at Liara she could see the asari had moved to sit on the edge of the bed and was rubbing her eyes to wake up. When she looked up they exchanged a brief affectionate smile before Shepard finally opened the door. "Aethyta," she announced, mildly surprised at the identity of their visitor. For an uncomfortable moment she thought the older asari was going to make good on the threat she saw in the matriarch's eyes on her way back up to speak to her lover, but then Aethyta smirked and the tension quickly disappeared.

"Everyone figured you were probably up here riding the blue wave, so guess who gets to drag you both out to join the party!"

Shepard blushed and Liara let out an exasperated, "Dad!"

"Well you've been up here for hours; haven't you had enough yet?" Aethyta winked at Shepard as she watched her daughter turn a darker shade of blue.

Shepard recovered quickly and shot her lover an appraising look. "Is there such a thing as having enough?"

The matriarch guffawed and slapped the Commander on the back. "Guess you must be doing something right then kid," Aethyta wiggled her brow at her daughter and continued to laugh at the embarrassment on Liara's face.

Having overcome her discomfort, Shepard was having a hard time keeping a lid on her own amusement; she was sure she wouldn't win any prizes with her lover for joining in with the good natured ribbing.

Liara shook her head and decided that a quick retreat was in order and marched past the two women towards the shower. "Don't think I can't see you trying not to laugh," she added as an aside to Jane as she made her way into the bathroom and closed the door.

The matriarch continued to chuckle as she turned back towards the elevator, leaving the Commander looking shame-faced. "I'm glad you two made up; I'd hate to have to kill you," she added with a smile.

Jane smiled back though she wasn't without feeling discomfort. Of all the people in the galaxy, Aethyta was the only one who could make her worry about her day-to-day safety. It was just a good job that she intended to dedicate her life to making the matriarch's daughter sublimely happy.

* * *

Normandy's med-bay was back to being its usual quiet self since all the children had been released and the flow of visitors was mostly just engineer Donnelly. Jack preferred to sneak in during the dead of night and the Commander's visits were little more than five minute updates, when she had the time to drop by.

Dr. Chakwas was looking over culture samples from a spongy looking moss, which she suspected was the cause of a mild skin irritation seen in a few of her recent patients. Fortunately the plant only appeared to grow in very dark and damp places, so it had been easy enough to simply advise the crew to steer clear of the caves.

Her nerves were so finely tuned to the steady rhythm of the machines that the slightest inconsistency caught her attention. The sound of a quickening heartbeat from Miranda's side of the room was subtle at first, but within minutes the doctor was confident that the woman was at last beginning to wake up.

"It's about time," Karin muttered to herself, inwardly relieved that she was finally seeing some improvement; she had not been looking forward to telling Jack that their XO may never wake up if they couldn't figure out what was wrong with her.

By the time the doctor had checked the monitors and run a scan over the slowly waking woman, Miranda was blinking and beginning to take in her surroundings.

"Miss. Lawson?... Miranda, can you focus on me?"

Miranda turned to the sound of the voice. "Doctor?" she asked in confusion. "What am I doing here?" She slowly moved into a sitting position, ignoring the doctor's protests.

Chakwas sighed in resignation knowing that Shepard's second in command was going to be just as difficult as Jane normally was. "What's the last thing you remember?" She asked while taking a small step backwards.

Miranda closed her eyes and tried to focus on the broken images that flashed across her vision. She saw a flare of biotics and remembered the impact of her body hitting the ground. The surroundings were fuzzy and she searched for an image to pin the event down. Jack's face quickly came into focus and Miranda suddenly remembered the anger in her eyes, the crazy biotic bearing down on her, shouting accusations and demanding answers. She remembered a chair being thrown into a wall and the Commander's presence. She couldn't quite figure out when she'd been hit, but had a distinct memory of Jack's arm outstretched towards her and then the feeling of flying through the air.

"She hit me," Miranda muttered, the surprise and outrage becoming clear in her voice. "The psychotic bitch actually hit me."

Doctor Chakwas frowned at the venom in her patient's voice; clearly Jack would have some grovelling to do. "She's been quite concerned for your well-being since she brought you in. I had to throw her out because she wouldn't leave you," Karin mentioned, trying to console the ex-operative.

Miranda frowned, not being able to connect this description of Jack to her memory of the woman. She quickly dismissed the doctor's words and continued with her own train of thought. "She's a bloody liability. Shepard should leave her on the nearest marginally habitable planet; we have enough problems with the Collectors."

Karin continued to frown all through the brunette's tirade until that last word. "Wait, what date do you think it is?" she blurted, kicking herself immediately for being so unprofessional. "I'm sorry," she added, seeing the brief panic in her patient's blue eyes. "You're telling me you remember an altercation with Jack. Can you remember the events that led up to it?"

Miranda's eyes narrowed. "You asked me what date it is." Karin lowered her eyes regretfully but nodded. "How much time have I lost?" she asked knowingly.

"If the last thing you remember is fighting the Collectors?" Miranda nodded mutely. "Almost a year," the doctor admitted.

The young woman was silent for a minute, her exceptional brain beginning to extrapolate events to what their current situation could be. They were still together on the Normandy; surely they weren't still fighting the Collectors? Chakwas had been surprised to hear her suggest it so she guessed not. She couldn't feel the slight hum of the engines so assumed they were docked somewhere. She needed to have words with the Commander and get to her computer to read over her logs; that would quickly tell her what was going on.

Miranda began to climb out of bed, much to the doctor's consternation, but she hadn't been on her feet more than a few seconds before she felt the dizziness hit her.

"You've been unconscious for almost two days and with this memory loss I really can't recommend you leaving any time soon," the doctor chastised, hoping that simply making her tone harder she would convince her patient to behave.

Miranda allowed herself to be pushed back into bed and lay down willingly while the dizziness receded. "I need to get to my computer, and I want to speak to Shepard."

Doctor Chakwas nodded a little while letting out a breath of relief. "I'll contact the Commander," she assured her.

Not wanting to leave the room, the doctor resigned herself to calling the Commander with the XO listening in. Karin just hoped that Jane was nowhere near Jack, and didn't ask too many questions. She used the Normandy's com-system to page Shepard's omni-tool and got a response almost immediately.

"Shepard here," the Commander's voice came into the room clearly, the sounds of many people chatting and children laughing in the distance.

"Commander, it's Dr. Chakwas. If you have a moment could I speak to you in the med-bay? You don't need to bring anyone with you," she added, hoping that the Commander took the hint to keep the request to herself. There was a short pause on the other end and Karin was sure she could hear Dr. T'Soni's voice.

Miranda attempted to quiz the doctor while they waited for Shepard to arrive, but Chakwas remained annoyingly tight-lipped. The Cerberus operative fidgeted non-stop, while the silence seemed to stretch on forever. So many questions flew around her mind. What had happened with the Collectors? What was happening with the Reapers? Where were they? What was the Illusive Man's plan to win the war? Had they already won? What was the state of the galaxy? On and on they went, but one thing she refused to think about was why on Earth would Jack of all people be worried about her?

* * *

Commander Shepard sat on a wide log, her hands wrapped around the waist and chin resting on the shoulder of her lover. After being ordered to join the crew by Liara's father the pair had quickly showered, dressed and walked to the fire pit hand-in-hand. They mingled, mostly with the children, for around an hour before retreating to a quiet area to cuddle up together and watch the flames begin to climb higher as the night drew in.

Liara talked some more about her childhood growing up in Armali and the first time she ventured off world on her own on a dig for her university studies. Shepard in turn described how it felt growing up on a military ship, never settling down in one place and always being a second priority to duty and the Alliance.

"There were so many times when I resented the Alliance, but they were my extended family too. For a long time it was a love/hate relationship." She felt Liara squeeze her hands in a comforting gesture and smiled in response. "Especially when my dad died; mom buried herself into one mission after another."

"Is that why you feel so guilty for choosing duty over me?"

Shepard felt the sting of those words as she often felt when they passed through her thoughts. Her head moved against the asari's shoulder as she nodded.

Liara turned to look her partner in the eye. "Shepard," she said seriously. "You are not your mother, any more than I am mine. I am not a child either; I understood the responsibility you held while fighting the Reapers and I don't resent you for taking your duty seriously." She lifted a hand to caress Jane's cheek and shared a sorrowful smile with her. "Jane, you have had to put your hopes on hold just as much as I have. So many times you have gone into battle knowing that the odds were stacked against you, but you did it anyway because it was the right thing to do. As much as I hated waiting for you to return, I was hugely proud of you… I still am."

Shepard sighed deeply and smiled into Liara's crest. "Thank you love." Her arms squeezed a bit tighter around her partner's waist and the asari tilted her head to meet Jane in a long slow kiss that left them both shaking minutes later. The Commander continued to lay kisses along Liara's jaw to the base of her neck. The asari's head lowered to give her lover better access, but before the couple could get any more carried away Shepard's omni-tool began to beep. "Damn," she cursed and took a breath before activating the communication device.

The brief dialogue with the doctor brought a frown to the Commander's features. She shot Liara an apologetic smile and shared a brief kiss with her before unravelling their arms and rising from the log.

"Do you think it's Miranda?" T'Soni enquired softly as Shepard stood up.

The Commander glanced across the field to where Jack was talking to the two biotic teens. "I don't know, but if it is and the doc is trying to keep Jack away I can't imagine the news will be good." She squeezed Liara's hand then let their fingertips glide apart. "I'll be as quick as I can," she promised, hating the fact that duty was pulling them apart yet again.

"Take as long as you need," T'Soni reassured her lover. The young asari watched Shepard's confident gait as she made her way towards the Normandy and sighed deeply. If only Jane could be that confident with their relationship; the Commander spent far too much time berating herself for one thing or another. She could only hope that when the doctor gave her the all clear that they could grasp some semblance of normal.

As the Commander walked through the CIC on her way to the elevator her mind wandered ahead to what she might find waiting for her.

As more and more tragic possibilities entered her thoughts the commander's pace increased. When she finally walked through the med-bay doors relief hit her hard.

Miranda was sat up in bed, scowling and interrogating the doctor. She had one foot hanging over the side of the bed, as if she was going to jump up the moment she felt strong enough and kept scanning the room, her eyes often landing on Engineer Daniels's prone form as if she would provide all the answers.

Shepard coughed to gain their attention and strode to Miranda's side to dissuade her from leaping into action.

"Nice to see Sleeping Beauty awake at last," the commander teased, hoping to break the tension. She took little notice of the deepening scowl that marred her XO's features. "How's she doing doc'?"

"I'm fine. It's normal for my body to 'power down' when I'm seriously injured. That way I heal quicker and can be back in action sooner. I might experience some dizziness, but I'm perfectly capable of returning to work. There's a lot of information I need to catch up with," Miranda insisted while unconsciously scooting closer to the edge of the bed.

"Catch up with?" Shepard queried suspiciously.

Miranda opened her mouth but ended up rolling her eyes instead when the doctor interrupted her. "XO Lawson has a moderate memory loss. Her MRI shows a gradual increase of synaptic re-growth. Thus, based on the speed of her recovery so far it's likely that she'll regain her memory in time. For now though we've estimated that she's lost all memory of the last year."

Shepard whistled and shot Miranda a sympathetic glance. "A lot has happened," she said unhelpfully.

Jane had to do some fast thinking. Miranda would have written reports on all their missions over the last year or so; that's just the way she was. She would have documented all her dealings with Cerberus and her father; rescuing Oriana; Shepard's progress at uniting the galaxy's space faring species… and in there somewhere amongst her personal files she might even have a few notes about Jack.

One look at the determination in Miranda's eyes told her she wouldn't be dissuaded.

With a sigh Shepard looked toward the doctor. "Other than the memory loss, is she fit to leave?"

Chakwas frowned, reluctant to let her patient out of her watchful care. "Can you stand?" she asked the recently comatose biotic. Miranda eased her body off the bed with a little more caution and took a few tentative steps. When the dizziness didn't return she raised a confident eyebrow at the doctor. A few seconds passed before Chakwas nodded slowly. "So long as you promise to rest periodically. I expect you back here for a check-up within the next 24 hours. Commander, I trust you won't overload her with the mission files?"

"You got it Doc." She motioned to Miranda to precede her out the door. As soon as she was out of earshot she added in an aside, "I think we both know it's not the official logs that she'll struggle with."

Karin nodded solemnly. "Where is Jack?"

"Outside, with the kids."

"I'll keep an eye out for her. You'd better get going."

With a quick glance towards the door, Jane shook herself into action. "Right. I'll keep you updated," she promised as she disappeared round the door frame.

Miranda took several long strides, putting as much distance as possible between her and the doctor. It was several seconds before she really began to take in her surroundings. The thing that first grabbed her attention was not the newly repaired elevator or the obvious military redesign of the corridor she stood in, but the huge plaque on the wall with the names of the dead. Anderson was up there, a few spaces down from Lt. Alenko. She felt a light ripple of anxiety run the length of her back; how many casualties was she soon to discover? Would Oriana be among them?

Feeling the Commander's approach she quickly forced the feeling to the back of her mind.

"We nearly had you up there," Shepard commented dryly. "We were beginning to worry that you would never wake up."

"We?"

"Chakwas, Liara, myself… Jack, Tali, Garrus; plenty of people on this crew had their fingers crossed for you."

"Oh please," Miranda said dismissively. It was bad enough that the doctor had tried to persuade her that Jack had worried about her; the idea that so many people were concerned for her welfare was frankly quite alarming. Miranda turned her back on the dearly departed and took several rapid steps towards where her office had once stood, ignoring the Commander as she called out to stop her.

As the door whooshed open the relief she should have felt at being back in her own space immediately disappeared. "What the hell is this!?"

Shepard waited until the door closed behind her, wanting to give her confused friend some privacy. "This is where the Shadow Broker is currently keeping all her equipment."

Miranda's eyebrow shot up then her expression quickly changed to one of confusion. "I thought the Shadow broker was male," she voiced the first thought that popped into her mind.

Shepard leaned as casually as she could by the doorway. "He was. Most of the operatives still believe that. We forced in some changes in the chain of command," she added with a smirk.

Lawson rolled her eyes and threw her hands up in exasperation. "Fine, so where do I work now?"

Jane rubbed her neck awkwardly, she really didn't want to continue their conversation on the lower decks, but neither did she want to antagonise her friend any further. "Look Miranda, there've been a lot of changes since the period you remember. Anything you logged during your time on the Normandy will be accessible from my quarters, where we can go through all your questions at our leisure." She took in the stubborn set to the XO's shoulders and the steel in her eyes and decided to pull out her trump card. "I imagine you must be fairly desperate to find out how your sister's doing."

The ex-Cerberus operative scowled at the commander, causing Jane to bite the inside of her cheek to keep from laughing; it was hard to take Miranda's ire seriously when she knew that under that perfect exterior beat a heart of gold. Still, it would not do to make fun of the woman who clearly was having a difficult time adjusting to not being in control.

"Are you prepared to face all the broken hearts you've left behind if we stay here?" Shepard teased, her expression softened.

Miranda paled slightly before regaining her composure. "You're bluffing, but I see your point. Lead the way," she conceded imperiously.

* * *

Liara stared into the fire, her thoughts light years away after Shepard was summoned to the medbay.

The effects of the toxins had almost worn off; this had been the first day where she'd woken from her nap without lethargic limbs, after a sleep empty of the terrifying nightmares that had been plaguing her. Though possibly the reason for the last had more to do with the understanding she and Jane had come to.

A sad smile turned her mouth up at the corners; her thoughts returning to her lover's fervent promise to revisit their discussion about children once Dr. Chakwas was happy that she was fully recovered. Physically at least. With her mind being a little clearer she was beginning to feel the guilt set in as she reflected on her behaviour of the last few days. Her lover had made every effort to keep the peace while the asari had yelled, cried and given her the cold shoulder in an attempt to force the Commander into conceding to her wishes. Liara recalled the irrational terror she felt every time Jane had tried to persuade her to wait; fear that as soon as they returned to Earth she would lose the woman she loved forever. It was a fear that lingered still, but with more command of her emotions she was better able to hide it; to control it.

Barely fifteen minutes passed after Shepard left before she was joined by a certain Quarian and her Turian boyfriend; she guessed she must have begun to look rather pathetic sitting on her own.

"Hey T'Soni, how is it that you're sat out here on your own? Where's our favourite Commander?" Garrus looked around as if he couldn't believe that Shepard would just wander off.

Liara smiled at the pair, their presence brining much needed distraction. "She was here; she was summoned away by the doctor."

Tali put a comforting hand on her shoulder as she gingerly sat down. "She can't ever count on being uninterrupted can she?"

"It is hard on her, but she's always thrived on it," Liara replied, hesitating as she remembered Jane's confession.

"Still?" Garrus asked. He eyed his friend knowingly, trying to communicate with her that she didn't have to worry about betraying the Commander's confidence by confiding in them. "After all she's been through I wouldn't blame her for wanting to slow down."

"You both deserve a break." Tali agreed. "Has she mentioned anything about taking time off now the war's over?"

"Just between us," Dr. T'Soni began in a softer tone. "She did talk about wanting to leave the Alliance, but she doesn't know what else she would do if she's not a soldier anymore."

"She mentioned wanting to start a family," the Turian confessed, eliciting a short squeal of delight from the young Admiral.

"She did?" Liara asked in surprise. It wasn't that she hadn't believed Jane when she said she wanted children too, but hearing it from an outside source somehow made it more concrete.

"Keelah, it would be wonderful to see you and Shepard with your arms full of babies." Tali crooned, giving Garrus cause to wonder if he shouldn't be watching out for the 'what we'll do now the war is over' talk. "You'll have to come to Rannoch once the Relays are functioning again."

"Tali, I think we'll have to spend some time on Earth and Thessia first. We don't even have anywhere to live yet, and we're just going to start with one for now." Liara breathed, her skin taking on a pale tinge at the thought of her arms full of children.

"You are trying then?" the Quarian persisted.

"Erm Tali, maybe we shouldn't pester her so much with this. I'm sure we'll be the first to know, when there is something **to** know." He could sense her pouting behind her mask and was relieved when her body relaxed slightly, indicating her surrender.

"I'll make sure you're the first to know," Liara assured her suited friend and then added with a sigh, "Not that it'll happen any time soon I'm sure; there's going to be so much to clean up to get our home worlds habitable again. The Council and the Alliance will want their hero leading the way, telling everyone to support one another and stay strong."

Garrus nodded but attempted to console his friend, "They can't force her to stay; they know she's earned her retirement."

Liara's expression was conflicted. "Do you really think Shepard will leave, once she sees all the lost and grieving people who'll be looking to her to give them hope?" She shook her head as both Garrus and Tali's silence confirmed her point. "How can I ask her to abandon the billions of people who need her? How can I be that selfish?" She added in a whisper.

"She'll be needed to coordinate the Reapers too," Tali added. "Though it does seem that simply leaving them with instructions is enough to get the best out of them. The Cornucopia received the latest reports from Sol this morning; the Relay is almost ready to test already. You might see Thessia sooner than you think. Palaven is a short relay jump away from there, and with the rate things are going it might only be a couple of months before we're back at the Far Rim." Tali wriggled then in excitement as a thought occurred to her. She ploughed on, her mouth trying to keep up with her brain. "We'll have Geth with us as we travel through the Relays towards Rannoch. They made such a difference to the Quarian re-colonisation efforts; I'm sure if Shepard asked them, they'd be happy to help Earth, Thessia and Palaven too!"

Liara simply looked at her friend thoughtfully, wondering if things could really be that simple. Would Shepard be happy to help just by directing the ancient machines to do her bidding? Would the Council and Alliance condescend to operate without their shining star in active duty so long as she was still around as the poster child for determination and compassion? She'd always known that theirs would never be the quiet life, but her hope was being renewed that they would still be able to have their dream.


	9. Chapter 9

**Right, so here are the next two chapters! I'm doing pretty well so far with my promise to myself of at least one upload a week. I'm about half way through writing the final chapter (19) so you guys should have it all by the end of Easter break, (4 weeks from now). I warn you again though that I make no promises of a sequel (even if I do very much want to write one) and there will be some questions unanswered.**

**Thank you bunches to my reviewers! You always manage to make me laugh or blush with unexpected pride. Kisses!**

NINE

"So let me get this straight; you went through the Omega relay, defeated the Collectors, killed a human Reaper and returned with all your crew. Then you killed the Shadow Broker and destroyed the Batarian home world, revived a Prothean soldier, recruited the rachni, again, cured the Genophage, united the Krogans and Turians, stopped a war between the Quarians and Geth who now share their homeworld on Rannoch, recruited the last surviving descendants of the Reapers' creators, destroyed Cerberus and you now have sole control of the entire Reaper army. Does that about sum it up?" Miranda asked incredulously.

"Give or take a few minor points," Shepard confirmed as she began to wonder how she was going to get Miranda away from her mission logs and keep her promise to the doctor.

They were sitting on the couches, surrounded by data-pads, that the Commander had downloaded from Miranda's and her own unclassified reports, for easier reading.

The first thing they had discussed was Oriana's safety and thankfully, before her injury, Miranda had confided in the Commander that though there had been no safe place during the war, and Oriana had chosen to stay on Earth to assist with evacuations, they could be fairly confident that her work with the numerous refugees was keeping her out of harm's way. This piece of news had brought a reluctant smile to the XO's features and took some of the tension from her shoulders.

Since then though, the rest of the reports from their struggles against the Reapers had been tough reading. Sanctuary in particular had been a difficult read for Miranda. Though she seemed relieved to discover that her father couldn't chase her or her sister any longer, the guilt that she'd dealt with since leaving the black ops group was hitting her as hard as it had the first time round; after reading the casualty reports there had been almost ten minutes of silent inactivity while she attempted to process how her past involvement had contributed to The Illusive Man's eventual strength.

The rest of the reports that Shepard had picked out, while horrific in their own rights, hadn't given the Operative the same cause to feel ashamed. Though she couldn't help but wonder where she'd been and what she'd been doing while Shepard was out saving the galaxy.

"It's a lot to take in, I know," the Commander commented after a minute's silence.

Miranda ignored her. "You said I'd be able to access all of my files through your console. Where are my personal files?"

Shepard looked at her for a long moment, gauging just how tired she must be. "They're on a separate server," she confessed eventually.

"So I can't actually access everything from your cabin," the brunette accused. "Why lie to me? What are you hiding?"

"Miranda," Jane began, keeping her voice calm. "You've been my second in command; you brought me back from the dead and we kept each other alive through months of chasing Collectors and dodging bullets. You're my friend; I trust you." She let that sink in through the other woman's hard exterior before coming to her point. "I like to think I know you quite well. Some of the changes you've made in the last couple of years had to be seen to be believed and after everything you've already read tonight you really need to take a long break before diving into your own thoughts."

The XO huffed to demonstrate her annoyance and impatience, but mostly to hide the surprise she felt at being called someone's friend. Niket had been her only real friend, and even then they were hardly that close. "Fine," she relented after a lengthy pause. She looked back at the data pads and sifted all the new knowledge she'd acquired through her thoughts. It was a hell of a lot to process, but her mind handled it with relative ease. "I'll take a break, but then I want to see my logs."

Shepard looked at the chronometer and wondered for a moment how Liara was keeping herself busy while she waited. "You have a cabin on the Cornucopia, but I've asked the crew to move your things into the captain's quarters as I'll be staying on the Normandy. When I'm happy that you're well rested I'll give you access to everything you need." She grinned at the scowl that appeared at her orders, not bothering to hide how unaffected she was by Miranda's stern demeanour. "I'm going to ask EDI to lock you out of the ship's systems until you're rested, so I suggest you get a good night's sleep. It's for your own good," she added on seeing the XO's look of betrayal.

The walk through the Normandy to the shuttle that was waiting outside was an anxious one for Jane. She had called ahead to let Chakwas and Liara know what she was doing, so she was fairly certain that Jack would be out of the way, but there was always the off chance that the unpredictable biotic would catch on to their interference and demand to know what was going on. She knew she couldn't keep Miranda's state of awareness quiet for much longer, but she really just wanted the XO out of earshot before she discussed the situation with Jack.

No one could have predicted that the two stubborn biotics would form a romantic bond, least of all their Commander, who more than once had had to step between their fights. It still surprised Shepard how happy they were when they were together and she was determined to do everything in her power not to ruin the potential for a real relationship between them. Which meant keeping them apart until Miranda was in a better position to accept the huge changes in her lifestyle.

* * *

Liara sighed as she watched the shuttle rise into the air, imagining Miranda and Jane inside. Once again she was being unintentionally pushed aside while her lover was called upon to sort out other people's problems. It would be another couple of hours at least before the shuttle returned, dropping off an ever increasingly tired Commander; just in time for the celebrations to end and the crew to begin returning to their respective quarters.

It was just past midnight and most of the children had already been escorted reluctantly back to their rooms, exhausted but exhilarated after the fun and games of the afternoon. The only two who remained were sat beside the fire, on either side of Jack, morbidly sharing horror stories of what they were now all calling Cerberus Summer Camp.

Jack was chuckling at her companions' attempts to horrify her with their torturous experiences. Both teens had been hand-picked by the doctors at the age of eight, and while they had tried to put aside the happy childhoods they had lived before their capture, they each held memories of a normal existence. Jack had been plucked straight from the crib and thrown into the madness that had become her life; fighting, killing… surviving. No bedtime stories, no one there to pick her up when she fell or hold her when she was scared; no mother, no father, no friends… no love. These teens could not begin to comprehend her nightmares.

Still, she let them talk. She knocked them down when they got too big headed, and built them up when they struggled to speak. It was just beginning to dawn on her how much of a lifeline she was becoming to these kids. She had found a sense of pride while working with the Alliance, moulding her students into kick-ass warriors and dragging them through the fight. She would never have considered herself to be big on talking when it came to problem solving, but in their current situation it flowed from her naturally and even satisfied some of her own demons.

When Shepard had asked her to be available to the kids if they were willing to open up to her she'd wanted to flat out refuse. Since when did she look like a shrink? But the great and wonderful Commander had cajoled, pleaded and finally bribed the ex-con with a shiny new gun and much to Jack's surprise she found another thing she was good at.

These kids didn't need someone telling them that everything would be alright if they just opened up about their living nightmare, that the pain would go away, or that they were not to blame for their actions. They didn't need platitudes. But to have someone who'd been where they were listening to them; someone who'd experienced their hell, and was living to tell the tale? She was living proof that they could survive, and at the very least proof that they could have the potential to be happy.

Most of the kids had sought her out over the course of the day to ask her about one thing or another, though the mousy-haired waif who'd clung to her that first day aboard the Normandy, never uttered a word.

She was somewhat of a mystery. They could find no record of her from the Cerberus labs and none of the children knew her real name; they had affectionately named her 'Mute'.

Mute was fast becoming Jack's shadow. She was there whenever the young woman turned around; always watching, but only ever approaching when Jack wasn't surrounded by others. Even then she only sat quietly by, letting the mystified adult attempt a one-sided conversation in an effort to draw her out.

Jack wondered occasionally what any other person in her situation would think. It occurred to her that most others would be highly concerned by such unusual behaviour, but she just figured that the kid was doing what she was doing to feel safe. If Mute was happy keeping her thoughts to herself it certainly wasn't going to bother her; it made a nice change to be accompanied by someone who didn't feel the need to fill every silence with mindless chatter. The kid would talk eventually if she wanted to and in the meantime there were lots of other ways to communicate if you knew what to look for.

While they'd been training earlier that day Mute had shown that she had a lot of power, though it was as yet uncontrolled. When everyone was watching during her turn, it had shot from her fingers in all directions, making almost everyone run for cover. At one point though, when Harry had accidentally sent a crate flying towards the Commander, who's back had been turned at the time, she had flung out a hand without thought and sent the heavy object soaring a couple of hundred yards before it collided solidly with a tree. The sudden attention that landed upon her sent her into cover behind her long fringe, but as a babble of awe broke around the groups Jack had spied a tiny smile forming at the corner of her mouth.

Breaking from her reverie she focussed again on the teens on either side of her. The fifteen year old was called Annabelle, or Anne if you didn't want your head bitten off. The girl hardly every relaxed; every few minutes she checked her surroundings and she twitched constantly, her head moving toward various noises, seemingly without her conscious thought. She was short, but wiry and had many tales of squeezing through tight spaces to escape pursuit; even before her capture by Cerberus she'd lived her life on the run. While she'd never wanted for food or shelter, her father had been a very successful Red-Sand dealer and running from the law had become second nature to her and her four brothers. It was while protecting them from a rival gang that she'd attracted unwanted attention for her biotic talents.

Heinrich had similar appellation issues and wouldn't answer to anything but Rik (though Jack had once overheard Ann calling him Heiny and he'd simply rolled his eyes fondly at her). He was approaching seventeen and had naturally taken command of the lab kids. Jack remembered Shepard commenting that he looked like he'd make a fine soldier and made a note to suggest that he take on more of a leadership role during the training.

Rik's origins were far less exciting; his parents had owned a bakery. His mother, he'd recalled, would get up at four-thirty every morning to prepare the dough and the bread would have risen before either he or his twin had even begun to stir. His father on the other hand excelled at pastries and cakes. Most days he would hold a little of the produce back at the end of the day as a treat for after tea.

Neither teen spoke much about their families, but Jack knew that they had to be wondering what had become of them.

"So guys," Jack threw another stone into the fire and watched how the flames engulfed it. "You thought much about what you wanna do when we get back to Earth?" She picked up a long stick for poking the fire with while she let her words sink in. "I hear there's plenty of refugee housing being set up. Shepard's gonna do what she can to find all of your families, but if you two really wanted to make it on your own she wouldn't stop you."

"She wouldn't?" Anne prodded, unbelieving.

Jack chuckled. "I ain't sayin' she wouldn't talk your ear off to get you to change your minds, but she knows you're both old enough to make your own choices."

"What would you do?" Rik wondered aloud while he too poked at the fire with a stick. The way the pair of them had decided to try and emulate Jack was a source of constant humour for her.

"Me…? Few years back I probably would have hijacked the nearest shuttle and maybe tried to take control of the Cornucopia before anyone was the wiser. Not a great idea to fly into Alliance space with a stolen ship though, so I'd have sold it to the first pirates I found and stowed away on any ship so long as it was headed far away from the scum we found here." She tilted her head and closed her eyes to picture for a moment the tight space she'd hidden in during her exodus from Pragia. "Now? Since the war is over, joining the Alliance isn't such a bad prospect. Don't have to worry 'bout a bed or food; got work, pay and people who'll watch your back. Lot of volunteers needed of course; Earth is looking like even more of a shit hole than usual."

"Kinda big on rules though ain't they." Anne interjected.

"Yeah, most of the officers have a big ol' stick up their collective butt." Jack agreed with a slight sneer. "The front line grunts are just like you and me though… mostly." She glanced round at the pair and the thoughtful expressions on their faces. "Hey, I'm not tryin' to persuade you into nothin'. I was runnin' on my own for a helluva long time; most people I came across were assholes who'd sooner use you and lose you. Then I met Shepard and the soft-hearted pussy actually gave me a reason to trust someone again. So yeah, if you got nowhere else to go, the Alliance ain't so bad is all I'm sayin'."

Before either teen could respond to that they were interrupted by Private Hills who'd come to advise them to get some sleep.

Rik and Anne both groaned at the idea of cutting the evening short, even though they were approaching the early hours of the morning. Hills looked to Jack to help him out, but she just laughed.

"I'm not their mommy. Get Shepard to haul their asses in if she wants them to sleep. I'll have fun drillin' them into the ground tomorrow when they can't even open their eyes!" She chucked all the louder at Hills's concerned features. Didn't he get reverse psychology? "Hell I've never had the chance to throw a bucket of ICE-cold water over anyone before. Let them stay!"

"Er, that's ok," Rik conceded, beginning to stand up and offering Anne a hand up. "We wanna be our best tomorrow, don't we?"

"Sure," Anne agreed, rolling her eyes at him, though she could quite believe that their crazy teacher would make good on everything she said. "See you in the morning Jack."

"Yeah, see ya," she waved her burnt stick at them and winked at the retreating soldier, chuckling again as his face flushed.

Yeah, it was a pretty fine feeling being one of the good guys, though she was determined that no one would think of her as soft. Not like Shepard. The brash biotic would have spent most of her time contemplating the change her life was taking if it wasn't for the concerns she had for her incapacitated lover.

The longer she spent without the other woman's company, the more she began to realise just how much time they had spent together. Not just for sex either, she realised with a certain qualm; they were together when prepping for missions, when Miranda was seeing to all the little things that kept the ship running smoothly, or when they were just sitting together in the same room while Jack stared at the ceiling.

She chuckled quietly and shook her head. "Fuckin' pussy," she muttered to herself.

"Do I need to get the swear-jar, Jack?"

The Commander's amused voice broke through her thoughts and brought a wry smile to the ex-con's face. Jack looked up to find Shepard and Liara hovering over her, the former with her arms wrapped tightly around the asari's waist. She steadfastly ignored the twinge of envy that flickered at the back of her thoughts.

"Fuck you Shepard," Jack continued to chuckle to herself as the couple got settled on an adjacent log.

"That's what she has me for," Liara announced, eliciting a shocked squeak from the Commander and a delighted guffaw from Jack.

"Spending time with your dad has done you good," Jack told the asari emphatically. The laughter quickly died down though as the Commander's serious demeanour settled over them. "Jesus Shepard, way to kill the buzz. What's got your panties all bunched up," she paused for all of two seconds before adding, "Besides Liara?"

Jane gave a half-hearted smile before becoming serious again. "Jack… I had a call from the doc earlier."

The biotic's body stiffened instantly. There was a moment of palpable tension before she spoke. "She's not…?"

"No," Shepard reassured her quickly and watched as Jack's posture relaxed ever so slightly. "She's awake, and she's been giving the doc the run around-"

"And you didn't bother to call me?" She was half standing, her sudden anger smothering the moment of panic she'd felt at the beginning of their conversation.

"Jack…? Jack…! She doesn't remember!" Jane shouted after giving several commands to stop.

Jack was several feet away, steadfastly ignoring the Commander until Shepard's last attempt to reach her broke through. A shiver of fear ran down her spine as she tried to figure out what those words meant for her future. Slowly she turned to face the compassionate expressions that were directed at her. "What do you mean? What doesn't she remember?"

"She doesn't remember anything after I helped you destroy the Teltin facility on Pragia." Shepard paused, hesitating as she hoped that the unpredictable young woman could hold herself together and not do anything rash. "She remembers the fight you had in her office; when she woke up she said she remembered you hitting her. She thought that was why she was injured."

How many months had she and Miranda bickered and danced around one another until circumstance and post battle euphoria had brought them together in a clashing of teeth and grasping of flesh? If not for that incident Jack had no doubt that they would never have considered agreeing to a cessation of hostilities if only so they could use one another for stress relief. Then without conscious thought they'd each gained a mutual respect for the other, which had finally evolved into a burgeoning friendship. What were the chances that they would ever be able to repeat those opportune moments?

Jack paced, taking deep breaths, clenching and unclenching her fists; anything to calm the river of lava that was the unfairness in the train of thought that ran through her mind.

Jane decided to keep talking, explaining how she'd spent the best part of the evening helping the XO to go through the mission logs and bring her up to speed, and how tomorrow they would begin on her personal logs.

"I have no idea what's written in those files. Did she ever mention writing about you in her logs?"

"How the fuck should I know? I didn't stand around readin' over her shoulder. God damn it Shepard!" Jack scratched her head in frustration. "This is all your damn fault you know!"

Shepard raised an eyebrow, but it was her lover who took offence. "That's not fair Jack. Shepard's spent hours trying to sort this mess out -" she stopped at the feel of Jane's hand on her waist, her indignation coming to an abrupt halt.

The Commander had an idea that her volatile friend wasn't simply talking about the current situation, but the fact that she'd let herself get into this place where she was hurting because she'd chosen to open herself up to caring about someone again. "Do you really regret who you've become Jack?" The agitated woman shot her a dirty look without responding. "Can't say I agree with her taste, but Miranda obviously found something about you to like."

"Piss off," came the reply, though the insult was tempered by the reluctant smirk that accompanied it.

"That was before you became such a charmer too," Shepard added with an answering smirk.

"Urgh! You're so damn annoying you know that!" Tattooed hands were thrown up in the air as she finally stopped her agitated pacing.

"Does that mean you know I'm right?" A snort of derision was her only response. "Jack," Shepard began again, softening her tone. "The memory loss might not be permanent. Karin seems to think that your fight was the trigger for where her memories have 'rebooted'. It would explain why she remembers you throwing her when you only threw a chair at her before."

Jack sucked at her teeth as she digested this then gave a humourless laugh. "None of this paints me in a good light, does it? Bet you'd never dream of doing anything like that to Blue would ya; you big Girl Scout."

Shepard frowned at the comparison but didn't bother to disagree.

"She's given me a few bruises in her sleep," Liara confessed with a small conciliatory smile.

"And a few hickeys," Jane added. "I have no doubt that Miranda would give you a run for your money if she thought you deserved it."

"Yeah I guess," Subject Zero shuffled her feet, looking lost now most of the fight had been talked out of her. "So, I suppose you're gonna tell me to stay out of her way for a while huh?"

"Maybe for a day," the Commander agreed. "Though I think you'd both be better off just working together and seeing how it goes; you're going to bitch at each other no matter what."

"True enough… So where is she?"

"Back on the Cornucopia."

"Right," Jack replied non-committal. She looked off into the distance for a moment, appearing to think.

Did she really have a chance to win Miranda over again, or was Shepard just being her usual 'half full' self? Well, whatever the answer, she knew she'd already committed herself to not giving the other woman up. She'd grown too used to the way the other biotic touched her and challenged her. She'd be damned if she let some other asshole take her place without a fight!

Her attention focussed back on Shepard, a new aura of determination surrounding her. "Guess I'd better get my beauty sleep then, if I'm gonna be fuckin' Casanova tomorrow." She turned on her heel and marched toward the ship, leaving a dumb-founded asari and Commander in her wake.


	10. Chapter 10

**Make sure you read chapter nine as I've uploaded two chapters again. Yay me!**

TEN

It was 0800 hours on the day of departure. It had taken another week to complete the repairs to the Normandy, but finally the crew were in place to take-off; all eagerly anticipating the beginning of their journey back to Earth.

In the cock-pit Joker was a barely contained bundle of excited energy. Not only was his baby fixed, but EDI was whole and real beside him; her dry humour off-setting his tactless sarcasm nicely whenever they were required to communicate with the rest of the crew.

Commander Shepard stood in her usual place, over-looking the galaxy map in the CIC. Liara had chosen to monitor the proceedings from a console close by; facing her lover so she could enjoy the sight of the woman she adored in her element.

They had spent the last week, while not on duty, excitedly planning their future together. Now that the war was actually over, the future seemed to stretch on gloriously long in front of them. Though Liara knew that there would come a day when she would have to say goodbye for the last time, she anticipated enjoying a century of bliss together before that happened, and when they did finally part, she envisioned them being surrounded by their daughters and their extended family; not torn apart in a desperate fight for survival.

Liara thought back to the night after she'd had the all-clear from the doctor. Going into the appointment, she'd felt confident that the effects of the drugs had finally worn off, but Shepard had needed Karin's confirmation before she'd been willing to revisit their conversation about children.

_(( As they'd entered their cabin after dinner, the commander had pulled the Shadow Broker into a firm hug, her breath tickling the asari's crest as she huffed out her relief._

_"Liara, maybe I should have just taken your word for it, but I'm glad Dr. Chakwas confirmed your recovery." Jane had pulled back and was looking for any sign that her lover was upset with her._

_Recently their disagreements had become less volatile and more logical, and though arguing was never a pleasant experience, they both appreciated the difference when they could remain relatively calm._

_"It's fine, Jane. I would have wanted the same peace of mind if I were in your position," the young maiden reassured the commander, even as she began unbuttoning the human's shirt._

_Shepard raised an eyebrow at the sudden wanton playfulness directed at her. She felt her pulse quicken as nimble fingers explored her newly exposed skin and felt her own hands automatically responding in kind. "So, I guess we're not going to waste any time then? Are we really going to do this now?" There was a hint of trepidation in her tone, but she had already made up her mind about going ahead with the mating meld, she'd just assumed that they would have a long discussion about it first._

_Liara had managed to strip the shirt off Shepard's shoulders and was working on unbuttoning her pants as she moved backwards with her lover toward the bed. "We can talk about that later," she mumbled between kisses to the commander's shoulders and neck. Though she hadn't needed the doctor's confirmation, she was excited by the news nevertheless. "Right now, I just want you!"_

_Jane grinned as she stepped out of her trousers. Eager hands reached for the fastenings on the asari's clothing as Liara's arms wrapped around her neck and pulled their mouths together. The human groaned into the kiss, the overwhelming relief of finally having her lover back healthy and happy gave an extra injection of enjoyment to their sudden passion. She laughed when the asari reversed their positions and pushed her onto the bed. Warm hands and lips began to explore her torso, turning her mirth into another groan of delight._

_"God, Liara."_

_Shepard gasped while her fingers entangled themselves in the crevices of her lover's crest. The blue alien took her time to map out every sensitive inch of the hero's body. Her scientific proclivities motivated the long drawn out torture until the human was a mass of shivering nerves. When she couldn't take any more teasing, she looked down at Liara and was met with an intense ebony gaze looking back at her._

_The young information broker abandoned her exploration and crawled up between Shepard's legs until she was hovering over the soldier. She captured a wrist in each of her hands and imprisoned them above splayed red hair. She felt one of Jane's legs wrap around her waist, opening the commander up to whatever Liara desired. As she lowered her hips into her lover's and began a slow rocking rhythm, she let her consciousness sink into Shepard's._

_Jane felt Liara capture another long moan with a kiss and let herself submit completely under her partner's unexpected dominance. In the meld she could feel love and desire surrounding her, stoking her need and reaffirming the depth of emotion they each shared for the other. She felt Liara's climax building in waves and her own responding in tandem._

_'Goddess,' Liara whimpered inside the meld._

_Jane experienced a fleeting moment of clarity through their link before Liara grabbed hold of it and tugged it back with effort. The commander knew immediately what had begun to happen and was surprised by the intensity of her own disappointment as she lover controlled her instinct to mate._

_'Do it.' Shepard thought across the meld. She felt the asari's surprise and then the spike of arousal that followed. The young maiden's movements slowed and her eyes opened to gaze down at Shepard questioningly. The commander rose up as best she could from her trapped position and kissed her lover tenderly. "Jane?"_

_"I love you. I want this with you." Shepard told her earnestly. "Do it," she encouraged again._

_Liara left one hand tangled with one of Jane's and slowly trailed the other over sensitive skin as she began to take control of the meld again. Her fingers slipped through course hair that no longer felt strange to her and entered the human easily. Jane's newly freed hand slid around the back of her neck squeezed in time with the asari's thrusts._

_Their heightened desire returned with fervour and Liara didn't hold back this time as her mind burrowed deeply into the commander's and began mapping her essence._

_The feedback Liara felt from her partner surprised and excited her. The pure ecstasy Jane was experiencing had not been there during their previous mating and the asari was in awe at the stark contrast of having the commander's consent._

_Shepard climaxed first; her entire body over-stimulated by this new experience. She cried out into the spacious cabin and rode out her orgasm on Liara's talented digits. Even as she began to recover from the high, her lover reached her peak and the echoes sent Shepard over the edge once more._

_While they lay in a tangle of limbs and sheets, the commander felt an uncontrollable smile take over her face. A moment later a chuckle tripped over her lips, followed quickly by another, and then another, until she was laughing so hard she thought her sides were going to split._

_Liara laughed along with her, after some initial concern. It was just beginning to sink in for both of them that there was a chance they would have their happy ending after all. ))_

Without thinking about it, Liara's hand travelled once again to her mid-section and out of the corner of her eye she saw Jane glance her way. They exchanged a brief moment of silent communication before the Commander turned back to her task and began issuing orders.

Moments later the low hum of the engines could be heard and there was a collective holding of breath as thrusters were ignited and the subtle sensation of upward motion was felt by all. There was a slight relaxing of shoulders as the ship rose gracefully and swiftly into the bright blue sky. However, no one really relaxed until Joker had brought them up alongside the Cornucopia and the Commander had confirmed her standing order to tail the Normandy and be prepared to offer assistance in the event that the ship encountered difficulties.

For the next few hours everyone worked diligently at their stations, checking and rechecking sensors and system functions. They were like a well-oiled machine and Shepard was proud to see that they still took their duties seriously though the threat of galactic extinction had been eliminated. At 1200 hours, when Shepard was convinced that they weren't in danger of losing power, being pulled into a neighbouring planet's atmosphere and plummeting to their deaths, she gave her crew leave to operate light duty rotation and stepped down from her 'crow's nest'.

First she turned to her Com-Specialist, throwing her a grateful smile. "Good work Traynor, it's nice to see you haven't decided to slack off now we're not out saving the galaxy anymore."

Traynor blushed slightly under the Commander's praise, not having quite gotten over her crush yet. "Give it time Commander; I'm sure there'll be another crisis with your name on it sooner or later."

"Ugh, don't jinx me Sam." Shepard replied with an exaggerated groan of annoyance. "Besides, I don't plan on being available for at least the next decade. The next century if I can help it." She glanced over at the asari in the lab-suit, who was pretending not to watch them. She chuckled inwardly, still finding her lover's jealousy amusing and then turned back to the woman in front of her. "I think I've earned my retirement," she added in a quieter voice.

Traynor stood speechless for a moment then finally chuckled to herself and smiled, hiding the sliver of disappointment that was sharp in the back of her mind. "I guess it has been a long four years for you."

Jane nodded slowly, "Sure has, and I was dead for two of them." A sad smile twitched at the corner of her mouth. "It's not just that though; I'm almost thirty three years old and I've spent most of my life either on a ship or in combat. I want to know what it's like to be ground side for a while; to not have to worry about anything more complicated than what to put on my grocery list and which movie to watch on Saturday night. The fight's won and it's time to hand in the towel," the Commander's voice gained a little more of that forcefulness that she was renowned for towards the end, and with a parting nod she stepped around the Com-Specialist. "Make sure you get some rest Sam. I don't want you to burn out," she added without a backward glance.

Shepard brushed a hand across Liara's back as she moved passed her on her way to the nose of the ship. She glanced back to share a short flirty glance, breaking one of the staunchest rules in the military regarding fraternisation on duty. After the events of the last few years, such things no longer bothered her much.

In the cockpit, Joker hummed to himself contentedly as his synthetic co-pilot reacquainted herself with the formerly missing part of her 'soul'.

Shepard grinned to herself. She'd never have predicted a scene such as this. The often sullen pilot had been full of criticism for anyone and everyone when she'd first met him, and though he still spoke with a heavy dose of sarcasm, his outlook on life had been much improved. Most of that social development had been in direct correlation with the amount of time he'd spent with EDI, with or without her new eye-catching form. If Jane had been asked about it before bringing Dr. Eva's body on board, she'd have said then that he was half in love with the AI.

"You gonna skulk in the doorway forever commander? We're both taken now you know. It's a bit late for you to decide that you've been secretly in love with me all this time," Joker teased her from his worn in leather seat.

Shepard chuckled to herself. "Ah Joker, you're out of luck. You know, once you go blue, no one else will do," she quipped, then added, "Beside, I'd never think of trying to compete with EDI."

"That is fortunate commander. I would hate for you to be my first victim." There was a silent moment where Joker and Shepard shared a half amused glance. EDI continued to push buttons for a moment longer then slowly turned to look at them. "Ooops. Did I say that out loud?"

Shepard chuckled to herself. "Never change EDI. How does it feel having your body back?" She gestured to the bulkheads around them.

"It is comforting. Operating out of the tight-range band of the Normandy was not without its difficulties."

"We should probably stay on the ship for like, ever now," Joker announced as he turned back to his control panel.

Shepard continued to grin at her comic duo as she wandered back through the CIC. Liara was intent on her work by the time the Commander came back to hover beside her. "So, Dr. T'Soni," Shepard whispered beside the young asari. "Do you have anything you would like to confess?"

To her credit Liara barely faltered, her fingers continuing to fly across the screen as she ignored Jane's knowing smirk. "I haven't the faintest idea what you're talking about," she answered emphatically.

She knew exactly what her lover was referring to though. A few days ago Jane had been talking to Samantha Traynor in the war room and Liara had entered in the middle of the conversation and been none too pleased at seeing the two together, alone. Her displeasure must have shown on her face because Shepard had followed her rapidly retreating figure back to their quarters where she badgered the blue alien for half an hour before Liara would admit to hearing about 'the shower scene' that the lower deck hands still gossiped about on occasion. She still wouldn't admit to being jealous though.

"You know, I was thinking about this whole dilemma regarding Commander/crew-fraternisation gossip. I think I have a solution." She paused, waiting for her lover to take the bait.

She didn't have to wait long; with a sigh Liara shifted her weight onto her left hip and shot Shepard a long-suffering look. "And what would that solution be?"

"Simple," the red head smiled mischievously. "I just open my shower out to the entire crew; let them see that I'm treating them all the same."

Liara shook her head with exasperation, though she couldn't help but laugh a little at Jane's playfulness. "And where exactly do you propose we shower? As I recall, you have a fondness for conserving water." She shot the Commander an innocent look. "At least I assume that's why you invite me to join you so often."

Jane found herself temporarily stumped as her mind took her back to many hours spent worshiping Liara's body under the spray of her power-shower. "Yes, we have to keep saving water," she murmured robotically. Only when the asari smacked her across the stomach did Shepard's unfocussed gaze shift back to normal; the dazed expression that replaced it giving Liara more fuel to tease the galaxy's saviour.

"Then again, you do have a point about being fair to your crew. We wouldn't want them to mutiny after all."

Shepard's expression hardened comically. "You know, you didn't used to be this mean."

Liara shut down the station she'd been working on and grinned at the petulant Commander. "I learned from the best." She swayed towards the elevator, the red head stalking after her, now appearing quite proud of herself.

The crew didn't bat an eye-lid at these antics. After living as a small community for the past couple of weeks they'd learnt to relax somewhat during their downtime, and not one amongst them could begrudge their saviour the chance to goof around a bit.

All across the ship the morning shift was being replaced by the afternoon shift. They would all be on call at the drop of a hat until they reached their destination so those who were about to take a break had to stay alert, which was tough going for what would be a week long journey, but they were soldiers and well used to the pace. As soon as they were given leave to depart from the Normandy they would really let their hair down.

* * *

On the Cornucopia Miranda was still hard at work; the Commander's direction to stand down had fallen on deaf ears. She couldn't stop; she had to keep working to keep her thoughts from drifting. Ever since Shepard had given her access to her logs she'd needed a distraction to avoid facing the reality of some of her choices.

The first day she'd been intrigued by the slow change in her opinions and loyalties. The lengths that Shepard had gone to in helping her to save her sister and her sister's family brought an unexpected stinging to her eyes. The Illusive Man on the other hand? His need to take control of the human reaper was disturbing and she couldn't help but cringe at the memory of all the times she'd lectured Shepard on the pros of Cerberus and how they were working to help humanity. Though she was secretly proud of herself for telling him where to shove his job and all its associated perks!

For almost the entirety of the second day she'd become engrossed in her travels after returning from the Omega 4 relay; ship to ship, station to station, and planet to planet in her search for her sister; finally culminating in a most satisfying discovery of her father's death at her hands.

Finally she'd spent half a day rereading the mission logs from the final battle to retake Earth. She hadn't really needed to access the files again; it was stored in her eidetic memory, but it was hard to feel confident about her mental abilities when she'd lost the best part of a year from a simple gunshot wound.

Most people would consider themselves lucky to be alive after being shot by a sniper, but Miranda Lawson knew her body was more resilient than that. Only a direct shot to the head or heart would have killed her outright. The amnesia had to have something to do with blood loss and over stimulated nerves, which could have possibly caused a severing of pathways in the brain. It was likely that her body was right now attempting to rebuild those pathways, and once the right link was found the memories would come flooding back.

Only she wasn't so sure that she wanted them to anymore.

During her reading she had come across some shocking entries regarding the psychotic ex-convict, Jack. Entries that convinced the XO that, somewhere during her travels, she must have completely lost her mind.

They were subtle at first. The usually scathing comments she wrote on occasion, when Jack had succeeded in really ticking her off, were replaced by odd observations of the sadness behind her eyes, or concern over the amount of time she spent alone down in the bowels of the ship, to speculation over what the young woman would have been like had she grown up in a loving family. The change from avid disapproval to grudging respect was understandable Miranda supposed, particularly after returning from their mission to destroy the Teltin facility, but what she had stumbled across not more than a month into her personal logs was not!

At first she'd assumed that it was a bad joke of some sort; that Shepard had planted it in an attempt to make her feel at home. It wasn't entirely an illogical thought; the Commander had been known to pull pranks on her friends from time to time. But it would have taken quite a lot of work to go through all her personal files, to adapt to her writing style and place these (at times adolescent) nuggets of emotion into her end of the day musings. It didn't make sense. They had to be her thoughts, but at the same time they just couldn't be!

Miranda continued to read through casualty reports then moved on to crunching figures for projected rebuild costs and dates, but no matter how hard she pushed, those insidious thoughts remained at the back of her mind. After a further two hours of stubborn refusal to give in, she finally closed the programme she was working on and shut down the computer.

Feeling the gnawing hunger in her stomach the blue-eyed brunette sighed in defeat and decided that she would have to make an appearance in the MESS area. She just hoped she could manage it without running into Jack.

As the elevator deposited her on deck five her acute hearing picked up on the sound of children chatting, and where the children were, Jack was sure to be around somewhere. She groaned.

Shepard had suggested that the children move to the Cornucopia where there was the option of having dorm rooms for the boys and girls, instead of camping out on the floor of the observation deck. Knowing that Jack wanted to be close to Miranda was also a good reason to relocate them; it gave the struggling biotic an excuse to leave the Normandy.

Jane had suggested a gradual approach to let Miranda get used to her presence, but Jack had given up on that strategy after just one day. A big part of their relationship had always been about conflict, and Jack had no intention of changing that. Liara might respond to all that sensitive crap, but she was certain that Lawson wouldn't have the patience for it. Their forceful and stubborn personalities were the fuel for the passion that had so often inflamed their moments of unbridled lust. Jack was sure that if she could just push the right buttons, Miranda would be hers again. Of course, it wouldn't hurt to also let the other woman see the somewhat responsible person she had become. After all, there was no longer the threat of imminent death to send them crashing together in some short-lived attempt to escape from reality.

Jack was not actually in the MESS hall as Miranda feared. She had checked in on the ravenous gannets briefly and grabbed herself a quick snack before disappearing into the lounge, where it was usually quiet during the early afternoon. Mute had followed her down there, and though Jack had considered telling her that she really just wanted to be alone she reconsidered, actually finding the girl's quiet presence somewhat calming next to her turbulent thoughts.

"Hey kid," Jack greeted the timid brunette, not troubling to hide the shade of despondence in her voice. "You not hungry?" Mute shook her head and shuffled her feet. "Wanna play some pool?" the girl screwed up her nose and shook her head again. "Watch a movie?" Jack suggested, searching for something they could do that would help take her mind off Miranda, but her companion simply shrugged.

Mute looked around and spotted a chess board, much like Samantha's. She walked over, picked it up, and placed it on a low table where she sat on the floor to play with it.

"Chess?" Jack queried somewhat nervously. "Don't think I got much in the way of brains for that game," she confessed uncomfortably. Mute smiled winningly at her though and gestured to the floor space on the other side of the table and after releasing a small sigh of resignation the skinny ex-con took her place before the game board.

Partway into their third game Jack realised that she was actually starting to enjoy herself. Mute was a gracious winner and smiled often enough to make the insecure woman feel good about herself. "So Mute, you played this game a lot?"

The girl scrunched up her nose again but nodded confidently.

"Why'd you keep doing that?" Mute shot her a questioning look. "You keep screwin' up your face." Mute looked down quickly, hiding her face again. "You don't like the name or something?" Mute nodded. "Don't think they mean anything by it, givin' you a nickname. They don't know what else to call you."

What Jack heard next was such a tiny sound that she barely caught it, but luckily she'd been paying attention at just the right moment to hear the one whispered word, 'Penny'.

She tried not to seem too shocked or to suddenly jump on the kid with encouragement for more words, but somewhere inside she couldn't stop a well of excitement from bubbling up. "Penny huh? It's a pretty name, I'll give you that. Could get away with murder with a name like that." She smiled widely, injecting a teasing tone into her voice. "I guess now I know you do got a voice I couldn't keep calling you 'Mute' anyhow."

Penny blushed and pulled a lock of mousey-brown hair into her mouth. She looked up at Jack through her curtain of hair, her big brown eyes begging the young woman not to ask her to say anything else.

"No worries kid, no one has to know you can talk. You're gettin' on ok without it aren't ya?" She winked at the overly shy young biotic who giggled softly back at her.

That small sound of happiness did something to Jack that she'd never felt before, a surge of emotion so strong that it very nearly brought tears to her eyes, welled up inside of her. Still determined not to give in to anything so sappy though, she gathered Penny into her arms and swung the now openly laughing waif over her shoulder and began turning in circles.

On their third rotation the door whooshed open and Jack slowly came to a stop. The sight before her silenced Penny immediately but made the ex-con chuckle out loud. Miranda stood in the doorway, mouth open and eyes wide.

"Hey Princess, you see a ghost or something?" Jack continued to chuckle as the XO's mouth snapped shut and her eyes narrowed to dangerous slits. She felt Penny's arms tense up around her neck and turned briefly to offer her a reassuring grin. "Don't go getting your panties in a bunch. We're just goofin' off." She set Penny on the ground and cocked her hip while still grinning unrepentantly. "Unless you want some help getting them un-bunched?"

Miranda flushed at Jack's implication, firstly with embarrassment then with anger. "Whatever sick scenario you're thinking of you can disregard right now, it will never happen," she hissed.

Standing lopsidedly and still chuckling to herself, Jack quickly brought to mind an occasion where Miranda had had her panties un-bunched by the young rogue. She had been required to wear a dress during one of their many visits to Illium and Jack had teased her endlessly about it. In a dark corner of the club where Liara's father had worked, the tattooed biotic had miraculously convinced the XO to let Jack remove her underwear and she'd walked around all afternoon with nothing but the breeze teasing her nether-lips. Jack had been so turned on by the whole scenario that by the time they were back on the Normandy hours later, it was all she could do not to jump on Miranda in the decontamination chamber. The uptight cheerleader must have found it equally stimulating as a short time later Jack had slipped effortlessly inside as she took her from behind over her office desk.

"Too late sweetheart, it already did, and guess what…?" she sauntered into Miranda's personal space and leant in to whisper hotly in her ear, "You loved it."

Miranda resisted the urge to retaliate, partially because of the curious girl who was staring at her from behind the painted woman's legs, and partially because she didn't trust her own body with Jack around. Her brain was telling her to give the woman a good hard slap, but her body was tingling in ways that suggested that it knew Jack was telling the truth and wanted to experience her rough touch again.

She turned on her heel and marched off to her quarters for a much needed drink… and a cold shower. It was easy enough to douse the anger with a shot of perfectly aged rum and a quick mantra, cooling her ire the way she'd been taught to very early on in life (minus the intoxicant), but the throbbing arousal was something new.

From the moment she'd reached the age of consent, sex had been just another part of her life that required total control, from choosing a potential lover to how to stimulate the most satisfying orgasm. She had also become proficient at taking care of the problem by herself if the situation called for it. Control was her legacy…

…Except around a certain ex-convict apparently.

She resisted the siren's call for all of five minutes while she washed her hair under the cool spray of her personal shower, but as she applied soap to a sponge and brushed it across her over stimulated skin she felt her will cave in.

She turned a dial to provide a warmer spray and let a hand drift straight to the source of her problem. Her head hit the cold metal of the cubicle as dextrous fingers plied through tender flesh, hitting well known hot spots, gliding back and forth in measured strokes while small whimpers escaped her open mouth.

It wasn't long before a second hand joined its sister, reaching directly for the well of arousal that flowed steadily from her sensitive opening. First one, then two digits entered with firm deliberation, thrusting four, five times before Miranda came with a long groan of satisfaction, her last thought as she straightened herself of how Jack's fingers would feel inside her.

She banished the thought as she'd banished her anger and towelled off with precise movements, feeling more like herself again. Only two weeks, she told herself, until they reached Earth and she could make her excuses and put a whole planet between herself and the volatile young woman who so easily broke through her cool exterior.

"Just two weeks, then you'll be free of her," she whispered to herself, deciding that this would be her new mantra.


	11. Chapter 11

**So it's been over a week, naughty me! On the plus side sugar flowers for my friend's wedding cake were slaved over all week, finally finished on Friday, then devoured by 9 o'clock Sat night. One less headache (and may I say a big NO to anyone who asks me to make another big cake), and only one week to go to Easter break.**

**A few ups and downs in this one. As you've all waited so patiently I'm updating with three chapters this week, so don't bludgeon me 'til you've read all three. ;'D**

ELEVEN

In the Starboard Observation deck, now free from squatting children, Commander Shepard leant against the reinforced glass and stared out at the dark void. In her hand she held a chilled glass of Serrice Ice Brandy, having grown to like the taste after sharing a bottle with the doctor during her time with Cerberus. It was nice sometimes to be on her own, but often difficult to quiet the voices that haunted her from time to time.

The drink helped to make them quieter. 

* * *

Liara blinked away a tear that threatened to fall as she watched her partner on the video feed she'd tapped into from her office. EDI had debated, with incredible insight, the ethical pros and cons of spying on the Commander with her, but though the young asari had her reservations, she was more worried about Jane and wanted to keep an eye on her.

As their arrival back on Earth grew nearer, the Commander began to seek more and more time to be on her own and from her observations Liara had witnessed the beginnings of a worrying drinking habit.

During the war she had seen the Commander get drunk a few times; once she had even found her asleep on Arai T'Loak's couch, but then Jane had always bounced back fiercer and more determined than before. Now though she seemed to get more irritable and distant with each passing day and Liara had no idea what to do to fix it.

She guessed that Shepard was thinking about all the people she had either killed or didn't reach in time to save. The events on Thessia still played heavily on her own mind; she didn't really blame herself anymore for the tragic loss of so many of her people, but her instincts told her that Jane did. If as she suspected, the heroic human did harbour so much guilt for something that was in no way her fault, how must she be coping with such choices as destroying a relay and thereby almost the entire batarian race?

One thing she knew she couldn't afford to do was to allow her lover to wallow in drink and self-castigation. She would need help though.

Liara immediately called Garrus, finding him lingering in engineering, most likely chatting with Tali, which was useful because she wanted the quarian's assistance too. She invited them up to her office and within fifteen minutes they were there.

She would have preferred to talk in the captain's quarters where there was a sitting area and they could be comfortable while they talked, but she didn't want to risk Jane wandering in and her office included a proximity alarm if she didn't want to be disturbed.

Liara offered the bed for her friends to sit on as she took the only chair in the room. "I'm glad you both got here so quickly," she began as soon as she had their attention.

Tali, fearing bad news, held onto one of the turian's arms as she frowned behind her mask. "What's wrong Liara? Where's Shepard?"

Liara shook her head, staving off further questions. "You both know how the war demanded so much from Jane, more than most of us could give." They both nodded in agreement. "She had to make so many choices that affected billions of lives and most of the time the results were ok, but then there's what happened to the batarian home world, all the people who died on Horizon, the Cerberus soldiers we killed who we think were just indoctrinated innocents…" She closed her eyes, forcing back more tears. It was one thing to know that her lover felt guilty, but another to actually list the many things that she was sure Jane felt responsible for.

Garrus nodded in understanding; he had seen the Commander take responsibility for so many things that were beyond her control over the years, he wasn't surprised by what T'Soni was telling them. "She does have a habit of accepting guilt where it's not due. I take it you've sorted out the part she thinks she played in your miscarriage?"

Tali and Liara both stared at him in shock, but then the young Admiral turned her gaze on Liara and the asari felt completely exposed. "I'm sorry Liara," Garrus began as he felt the tension in the room fly. "I thought Shepard might have told you that she spoke to me. I thought it was best to have it all out in the open."

Dr. T'Soni shifted in her seat, fighting to keep her calm. "It's ok Garrus; I'm glad Jane talked to you. It explains a lot about how her thoughts on that subject have changed." She turned to her quarian friend and placed a hand on her knee. "Tali, I'm sorry I didn't tell you; I wanted to put it behind me and I didn't want you to feel responsible at all."

"You mean you were pregnant when we were scouting that obscure signal over a month ago?" Liara nodded sadly. "Keelah," she whispered. "You should have told us."

"You wouldn't have let me go," Liara said with conviction.

"I know; that's why you should have told us!" Tali insisted.

"Tali, if you or Garrus were captured you would have died. I was left in charge, it was my decision. And in light of what Cerberus would have done to you I stand by it," the asari told her friends firmly.

"Then Shepard shouldn't have left you in command!"

Liara was on her feet in a heartbeat, her biotics crackling. "Don't you dare blame her!"

Tali followed suit. "She put you both in danger and you're defending her. Perhaps she has good reason to feel guilty!" Without waiting to see the impact of her words she stormed out of the room, leaving her two friends staring after her.

Liara took several deep breaths, but didn't succeed in holding back the tears this time. When the turian's arms surrounded her shoulders she cried openly into his chest, hating Tali for the things she'd said, but knowing that the quarian was reacting without all the facts.

"Spirits, I'm so sorry Liara. I really didn't mean for that to happen, especially after you called us down here to help you." He pulled back to arm's length and watched his friend dry her eyes. "I'll go and talk to her," he promised.

"No," the asari protested, knowing that the explanation needed to come from her. "I need you to talk to Jane; she listens to you. I'll find Tali, and once this mess is cleared up we'll join you in the lounge."

"Ok," he agreed. "Just let me know if there's anything I can do to help. Though perhaps I've 'helped' enough for one day." He said this with a crooked smile, shrugging his shoulders as if to say 'what can I do?'

Liara squeezed his arm in reassurance. "It is better to have it out in the open, I just wish you'd warned me first; I could have handled that better."

"Next time I will, for sure."

Garrus gave her one last hug before heading out the door towards the observation deck. Liara hadn't said anything, but he had a sneaking suspicion that he wasn't going to find Shepard entirely sober. He'd witnessed the Commander drinking before and more often than not it was after a big mission where many innocent lives had been lost; alcohol seemed to be the hero's weakness when she was struggling with her conscience.

* * *

Miranda Lawson was beginning to hate this journey back to Earth. Unlike when they were hunting down the Collectors, being Shepard's second in command didn't give her much to do. The crew worked well and were on task when they needed to be, and as there were no missions and therefore no reports to file, official or otherwise, to keep her occupied, the XO had taken to patrolling the ship.

After a couple of days of looking over people's shoulders, she realised that her presence was unnerving rather than inspiring and had decided to take a leaf out of Shepard's book and try to reach out to people. Her level of success so far was not encouraging and she was quickly becoming sick of small talk. After almost half an hour of listening to private Hannigan drone on about his plans to settle down and raise a farm when he retired from the Alliance, Miranda knew that she needed a place to escape for a while.

She couldn't seem to relax in her quarters though; sometimes she would be moving around and she'd see or touch something and fragments of a memory would hit her out of the blue. Too many times those visions would include a certain lithe biotic figure who more often than not was doing very pleasurable things to her body.

It was ridiculously confusing, to have an erotic flashback one moment and feel ashamed and angry the next. She still hadn't forgotten that it was Jack's fault that she'd been injured in the first place. Considering that they'd obviously been lovers Miranda was finding it very difficult to forgive, even if she'd mostly forgotten the event itself.

Her practiced heels made virtually no sound as she stalked the hallways and stepped onto the elevator. She passed only one or two crew members as she made her way to the lower decks, answering their greetings with a small smile and a nod, and was relieved when she reached her destination and found the cargo-bay empty.

"Finally," she whispered as the door closed behind her with a soft hiss.

She considered hacking the lock so no one would be able to disturb her solitude for a good long while, but knew it wouldn't be worth the hassle; if someone needed to pick up supplies they would need to report the door being locked and that would require disturbing others from their jobs. Anyone coming down there would be gone in minutes, leaving Lawson alone once more.

Miranda picked up a nearby pad and read off the most recent stock-check. It was mindless, and honestly, pointless work, but it have her mind a chance to relax.

* * *

In her lonely quarters, Jack was pacing restlessly. She was bored out of her mind; nothing to do except talk, eat and sleep for three days was driving her to distraction. There wasn't even the option of sex to take her mind off the lack of fighting!

Not that she couldn't get sex if she wanted it. There were plenty of bodies aboard the ship and in her experience there would be one or two who'd jump at the chance to take her to bed, but she just couldn't bring herself to take that extra step.

"God damn it, you fuckin' pussy!" She yelled at the walls, enjoying the sound of profanity echoing back at her. "Since when did you give a shit? A body's a body, so long as you get off why do you care who it belongs to?"

Not at all unnerved that she was talking to herself, Jack continued to stalk the room, mulling over her words.

Why did she care? From the moment she became involved with Miranda she had resisted the idea that she was settling down. Fucking just one person was not evidence of commitment; the ex-Cerberus cheerleader was just a really good lay, so why should she bother trying for anything else?

Ok, so that didn't explain why she hadn't bedded anyone while they were apart for months, or why she suddenly felt guilty at the idea of trying. Or why she became insanely jealous at the thought of anyone else touching her lover.

"Mine, for fucks sake!" She targeted a military issue mug that sat on the table next to her bed and threw it at the wall with her biotics, denting the metal beyond repair. "Jesus Christ, Jack, you're losing it," she muttered to herself as she picked up the misshapen lump and tossed it in the trash chute. Taking a quick look around she decided that the best thing to do would be to take a walk.

So, hoping that she wouldn't run into any of the kids on her way, 'cause she knew that in her state of mind she wouldn't exactly be a good role model (and she really didn't want to listen to one of Shepard's lectures), Jack wandered the ship until her feet took her to the rarely frequented bowels of the ship.

"Perfect," she muttered to herself.

After moving to the Cornucopia, Jack had needed to find another place to work out and Shepard had consented to letting James's equipment be moved for the ex-con's use. She kept most of it behind a large pile of crates where all of the barely used spare ship parts sat, waiting to be needed. The pile was a good deal smaller than it had been when they left Earth as much of it had gone into repairing the Normandy, but there was still enough to hide a few weights and a punch bag.

Jack waltzed into the cargo-bay fully expecting to find it completely empty, so was stopped in her tracks when her eyes immediately hit upon a shapely and very familiar figure inspecting the contents of a crate with her back to the door.

It occurred to her for a moment that she could easily leave without the other woman being any wiser, but this whole game of hide and seek that they were playing was wearing on her nerves and a confrontation was just the sort of thing that would keep her entertained, at least for a little while.

She stepped towards a tall stack of crates, not caring to cover the heavy thud of her boots, and leant lazily against a box of dextro-rations. She considered saying something witty or crude, but thought better of it when she realised that this could be her only opportunity to watch Miranda before she became the usual ice-queen.

It didn't take long though for the XO to realise that she was being watched. With a scowl already planted firmly on her pretty features, Miranda turned to terrorise whichever crewmember was stupid enough to disturb her. Her scathing words died in her throat though when she realised who it was.

"Oh, it's you. What are you doing down here?"

"Besides distracting you?" Jack shrugged and let her gaze wander lower. "I'm just enjoying the view."

Miranda made a noise resembling disgust in the back of her throat and turned away to close the lid on the crate. She briefly lamented the loss of her solitude but decided that one hour had been enough. When she tried to move back towards the door however, Jack stepped out to block her way and took the data pad from her before she could even begin to protest.

"What the hell do you think you're doing!?" Miranda yelled, her voice full of indignation. "Who do you think you are? You think you can just throw your weight around and make others move out of your way? You need to learn the meaning of personal space!"

Jack smirked at the increasing pitch of the other woman's voice; she loved winding Miranda up. She threw the pad aside, finding the same old boring data that the XO insisted on updating, and stepped deliberately closer to the enraged woman.

Miranda gulped, her eyes shifting; searching for an escape as certain parts of her body responded alarmingly to Jack's proximity. 'Not now damn it,' she thought desperately, knowing that there was a long shower in her near future, if she managed to make it back to her quarters without doing anything stupid.

"You're not gonna run away?" the advancing biotic asked teasingly.

The stubborn XO narrowed her eyes in defiance, refusing to be intimidated. "You don't scare me Jack," she was relieved to hear that there was no fear in her voice because despite her words to the contrary she could feel the heat of adrenaline flooding her system. She felt Jack's eyes everywhere, drinking her in, devouring her. It was too much, she was beginning to want that touch, wanted to be devoured. "Are you going to let me past or not?"

Jack smirked, cocking her head to one side as she stepped closer, effectively backing her prey up against the wall of crates. "Thought you weren't going to run."

"You don't honestly expect me to fight my way past, do you?" Miranda exclaimed indignantly. "Ugh, you are so annoying."

A widening smirk was her only answer and her heart began to pound loudly against her rib cage as she felt her back hit the crates behind her and Jack's hands came to rest beside her head and waist. She dared not look in the other woman's eyes, but neither could she avoid them; the tortured depths were alive with passion and to Miranda the other woman had never looked more desirable.

This conflict was a swirling maelstrom that raged against the walls of her mind, toying with her emotions and freezing her in place. It wasn't until Jack leant in, bringing their bodies steadily closer together, that the storm inside her quietened down and an empty vacuum of white noise filled her ears. The last thought that passed through her haze filled mind was, 'Oh God, I'm going to pass out'. After that all that she could think about was how incredibly soft Jack's lips were and how wonderful she smelled.

Jack held her breath, not daring to make a sound or do anything to break the spell that kept Miranda from beating her to a bloody pulp. The kiss was so much gentler than anything she'd attempted before, but it was perfect. Every one of her senses was working overtime to capture this moment; whether she failed or succeeded at winning her lover back, she was determined that this memory would stay with her forever.

An eternity passed in that moment and when Jack pulled back she celebrated the quiet moan of disappointment that fell from Miranda's lips. She waited silently, giving the XO the chance to make the next move. A myriad of emotions flitted across those blue eyes, some encouraging and others worrying the ex-con, but eventually there came something like reluctant acceptance before Miranda muttered "Oh sod it," and threw her arms around Jack's neck.

* * *

Tali wanted to go straight to the commander to give her a piece of her mind when she left Liara's office, but soon thought better of it; if Liara had forgiven Shepard then it wasn't really her place to interfere. She was shocked that the saviour of the galaxy could be so callous though; it wasn't like the heroic human at all to put innocents in danger. Something wasn't right there.

Back in her compact quarters she began to feel calmer; the lack of space reminded her of the Flotilla. It wasn't long though before there came a knock at the door and she felt the weight of her words on her shoulders.

"Come in," she called out to the closed door.

Liara stepped softly inside and waited patiently for the door to close behind her. "Tali? That was a lot of information we dropped on you back there. Are you alright?"

The quarian gazed at the floor. "I wish Garrus had told me."

"It wasn't his place to say anything," the asari said kindly as she took a seat next to her friend on the bed. "I should have told you, I'm sorry."

Tali was quiet but turned to face Liara. "I still can't believe Shepard would knowingly put you in danger, especially not while you were carrying her child. It's just not like her."

It was Liara's turn to avoid the quarian's gaze. "That's because she didn't know," she confessed after a long stretch of silence.

Tali was confused. "I don't understand. Aren't there rules governing procreation amongst the asari?"

T'Soni took a deep breath, readying her confession. "They're not just rules Tali. The asari government regulates births of our race quite strictly. If no evidence of consent from the father can be found, there can be harsh penalties… Even centuries after a birth has been registered. Most of my people routinely make a video log with their partner when they choose to have a daughter."

"You're telling me that you didn't ask her?" the quarian blurted, clearly shocked by this news.

Liara buried her head in her hands, feeling ashamed of her actions once again. "I had already lost her once; I couldn't face doing it again!"

Tali immediately regretted her outburst and remembered back to the day the commander had died. Liara had become a complete recluse; first when they were searching for survivors, then when the casualty list came through and the commander's name was on it. She barely spoke to anyone and flatly refused to be near Joker, blaming him for his stubborn refusal to leave the ship as much as she'd blamed herself for not staying behind.

"You didn't know if she was coming back so you made sure that you wouldn't have to survive alone," the Quarian concluded.

"Yes," Liara agreed. "It was all I could do not to knock her out and take her to some remote place where we could live the rest of her days, just the two of us together. I even suggested it to her, though I don't think she realised how much I wanted to do it." Liara looked away, ashamed of herself. "She would never have done it anyway."

"Neither would you," the young admiral added confidently.

T'Soni laughed hollowly. "Wouldn't I?"

"No. You might have thought about it more because deep down you knew Shepard would never do it, but I know if there had really been the opportunity, you wouldn't have done it."

Tali's confidence in her was more comforting then she could have guessed. She hadn't even realised that it still played on her conscience until today, but she felt an easing inside at her friend's acceptance. "Thank you Tali."

"If you could be that selfish, you would have left me in the hands of those Cerberus agents and fled to safety yourself," the Quarian reminded her.

"I couldn't have done that," Liara said with a shocked tone. "Are we good then? You're not still thinking of putting Shepard on trial?" the asari teased.

"No, you were right, she doesn't deserve all the guilt she feels for her actions." She stood up and offered the asari a helping hand.

"It seems like we're all harbouring our own share of guilt at the moment," Liara muttered as she led Tali out the door. 

**Yeah, that mantra really didn't work for Miranda!**


	12. Chapter 12

TWELVE

Miranda Lawson was almost positive that her body was going to explode; every nerve ending she possessed was in overdrive and even as Jack's hips pushed into hers and she wrapped her legs around that skinny waist, she wasn't satisfied with the amount of contact. Her hands moved of their own volition, unbuckling straps that she hadn't even known existed, while her tongue teased and played with Jack's.

There was no room in her head for doubt, or anything else for that matter. Earlier she had been looking for a way to quiet her mind, well without a doubt she knew she'd found it. Perhaps later there would be complications, what with Jack being the topic that she wanted to stop thinking about, but it wasn't something she could think about now, even if she wanted to.

It was the sound of her zipper being drawn down that finally broke through her haze of desire; the sudden fear of being discovered half naked with the crude pyromaniac between her legs brought her swiftly to her senses. She tried to back away, but of course had nowhere to go so resorted to capturing two calloused hands in her own and holding them still.

"Wait, Jack… Stop!" She cried frantically.

Jack half sobbed/half growled with restrained desire and buried her head in Miranda's shoulder. "Fuck, you're killin' me here Princess," she groaned desperately.

Lawson took a few steady breaths. She didn't want to stop, despite how much a part of her was certain that she was making a big mistake. They'd come this far and she knew that no shower, no matter how long, would be able to take care of this ache. But there was no way in hell she was going to be caught in the act.

"I can't… Not here. Not where anyone could just walk in."

Jack breathed a sigh of relief, making Miranda twitch as her breath flowed over the opening of her suit. "It wouldn't be the first time," she confessed while planting a series of open mouthed kisses on an exposed shoulder.

Miranda shuddered and with an enormous effort pushed the brown eyed rebel away. "Not here," she reiterated. "If I'm going to completely throw caution to the wind I want it to last more than five minutes." She zipped up her suit and straightened out a few stray strands of hair. "Make yourself presentable and meet me in my quarters in ten minutes."

Jack wasn't quite sure what she meant about needing to be presentable until she looked down at her outfit and noticed that most of her upper torso was out on display. She grinned back at the now blushing XO. "How did you manage that?"

Miranda averted her gaze for a moment, willing her face to cool down. "Muscle memory I guess," she theorised before turning towards the door.

The journey back to her quarters was a complete blur. She couldn't believe what she'd just done… Or what she was planning to do! As the door shut behind her on her sanctuary she began to feel an element of panic set in.

"Christ Miri, what are you doing?" She stumbled towards the bed and sat down with her head in her hands.

If she was hoping that the darkness would provide her with a means to get out of the situation she was sorely disappointed. As soon as her eyes closed she could feel the other woman's lips and hands and tongue all playing her like a well-tuned guitar; plucking her strings and making her sing.

"Having second thoughts?"

Miranda's head jerked up; she hadn't heard the door open. "You call that ten minutes?" She asked, irritated by the unexpected arrival and worried that she would appear too exposed.

"You really think I'm that patient?" Jack retorted with a low chuckle.

"No… I wasn't having second thoughts," she answered stubbornly.

"Really?" the new arrival strolled slowly over to the bed and stood calmly in front of the confused woman.

Miranda shook her head then confessed, "More like fifth or sixth."

Jack brought a hand up to stroke the left side of the XO's face, brushing a strand of hair behind her ear. It seemed to work well at calming them both down. "Why?"

"I don't like not being in control," Miranda confessed without thinking.

The answer was so honest and sounded so vulnerable that Jack felt the weight of her actions come crashing down on her. In that moment she realised how much power she had over Miranda and with it the responsibility to not abuse that power. Technically their relationship had always been that way, but she just hadn't known it before. It was no longer a simple case of answering the call of desire and disregarding the consequences; this was a new beginning, if they failed the fallout would be so much worse.

She couldn't go back to how her life had been before though, with one meaningless encounter after another. Her feelings might have been safe, but the act itself was empty and more often than not left her craving something else to fill the void. Usually that something came in the form of drink or violence and while she would always find these things tempting, she knew that they didn't have to be such a big part of her life.

Finally she linked her hands with Miranda's and pulled the other woman to her feet. Jack knew that she didn't really have a way with words so kept it relatively short, "Let go. Let me show you how good it can feel," she offered.

The XO realised that Jack was asking Miranda to trust her and looked deep into those chocolate eyes again for reassurance. "Alright," she responded at last, giving Jack permission to initiate a slow kiss.

The embrace rapidly became deeper and more passionate, with hands reaching once more for buckles and zippers and teeth occasionally clashing through a struggle to feel flesh on flesh. As they fell back onto the bed neither one of them could spare a thought for what tomorrow might bring.

* * *

Garrus wasn't having much luck keeping the commander sober, but on the plus side, the more she drank, the more she shared. She had talked him through an impressively long list of names that she'd memorised from the casualty reports, and then gone on to a list of ships. He'd read the reports himself, but after a while the names had just blurred together. To hear them read out loud was rather depressing.

"If I don't take responsibility for them Garrus, who will?" Shepard was slumped in a leather chair, a diminishing glass of brandy in her hand. "Someone should be responsible," she repeated morosely.

Garrus was stood by the window so noticed straight away when the door opened and Liara and Tali stepped inside. He watched as the asari's eyes were drawn immediately to the commander.

"Shepard, taking responsibility is not the same as accepting all the blame," he reasoned, hoping that she was paying enough attention to take note.

"I agree," T'Soni said as she moved into view.

Shepard's head turned to the new arrivals and as her eyes focussed her expression brightened. "Hey babe. Fancy a drink?" She drained the rest of her glass then attempted to get up. "I've got some Turian brandy too guys, and I'm sure I can find you an emergency induction straw Tali." She chuckled to herself as she remembered the young quarian's drunken tirade.

She wobbled a little but was instantly steadied by two blue hands. "Jane, haven't you had enough to drink?"

Shepard began to protest, but stopped when she caught the concern in her partner's gaze. She lifted a hand and rested it on a freckled cheek. "Are you ok? Is everything ok?" Her tone grew panicky as she considered her lover's delicate condition.

Liara smiled and held Shepard's hand against her cheek. "I'm fine. I'm just worried about you… Garrus is right. Jane, you can't keep blaming yourself for every life that was lost in the war." The commander shook her head, trying to pull away from her, but she held on tight. "Please, just sit down and talk to us… for me."

Shepard made a conscious effort to relax her muscles and slowly sank back into her chair. As a consolation to giving up the comforting numbness of alcohol, she pulled Liara into her lap and wrapped her arms around her waist. "Fine, so long as you sit right here."

T'Soni blushed, her freckles disappearing for a brief time beneath the lilac hue, but she accepted the offer willingly. She was relieved when Tali took a seat next to the Turian and pulled his arm around her shoulders; they were now just two couples relaxing together instead of a group of friends initiating an intervention. Liara leant closer to Jane, reclining against her and wriggling deliberately as she pretended to get comfy.

"Are you quite finished?" The commander laughed, feeling a little lift in the dark cloud that surrounded her. Across the room their friends were chuckling at the couple's playful banter. "When did you become such a fidget?"

"Since you became so bony," she prodded Shepard's hips before settling back down. "Do I have to start following you around to make sure you're eating enough?" She asked half seriously.

The Commander's laughter faded, bringing them all back to reality. She gazed down on her lover and held her closer so she could lean in and place a kiss on her head. "As much as I'd love to have you with me all day, I don't think that'll be necessary. I will feed myself regularly," she promised. "Now what is all this about? Did you all come in here just to cut me off?"

Liara averted her eyes and began to play with the lapel of the Commander's shirt; where would you begin to tell someone that they had a problem and needed to fix it? Thankfully that was why she'd brought Garrus.

"Shepard, I'm all for us getting together and knocking back a few ryncols," Liara sent her lover a startled look as if to say 'you wouldn't dare'; Tali elbowed Garrus in the ribs, and Jane simply raised an amused eyebrow. "It's nice to kick back with a drink on your own sometimes too."

"But…?" Jane drawled, wishing they would get to the point, though she had a pretty good idea where this was going now.

Liara picked up the ball and ran with it. "You're making a habit of getting drunk when you want to forget and it's beginning to worry me."

"It's worrying for all of us," Tali added.

Jane's head hit the back of the chair and she tightened her hold on the asari in her lap. As much as she really just wanted to forget the last three years and the lives that she felt were on her hands, she knew that she needed to talk about it and was glad that they were bringing it up; she wouldn't have burdened them with it off her own back.

"I'm sorry. I don't start out intending to drink so much, it's just… quieter."

"What do you mean?" Liara probed; encouraged by the fact that Shepard was trying.

The Commander pointed to her head and smiled sadly. "In here." She took a deep breath and thought carefully about how she could describe what she was feeling. "It's just been creeping up on me these past couple of weeks; with so much free time I keep thinking about all the families back on Earth and your home worlds."

They all sat quietly for a few moments, each thinking about their respective home planets and wondering how much devastation they would face when they eventually returned.

"I think the reality of the total loss in this war is going to be hitting lots of people right about now," Garrus said eventually, breaking the sombre silence.

Shepard nodded feeling the weight of this tragic reality surrounding her.

"You can't be thinking that it's your fault," Liara insisted incredulously. "Without you we'd all be dead or dying."

"You accomplished the impossible!" Tali added. "Would anyone else have believed the geth could integrate into organic society? When I get home I'll be able to take my suit off without risking hospitalisation; that's because of you!"

"Palaven would be smouldering ruins without the backup we had from the Krogan; because you united us."

"And the Krogan are facing a future without the heartache of losing thousands of their children," Liara said in almost a whisper.

Shepard raised an eyebrow at the onslaught of their combined efforts to bring her out of her downward spiral. There was no way of knowing what the impact of her decisions would be. Could the Krogan resist reverting to their previous conquering behaviour? Would the geth remain civil as they adapted to their new-found sentience?

Liara was gazing at her intently, almost as if she were trying to read her mind without the meld. "Sweetheart," she began, using one of the Commander's own terms of endearment. "You are allowed to be happy."

Shepard lifted her left hand to stroke the side of Liara's face. Was that the crux of her problem, that she was afraid to finally be happy? The war was over, but in all honesty she had never really expected to survive. Now that she had what she wanted, she wasn't sure she would be allowed to keep it.

"I sometimes wonder if this is all a dream. Am I dying on that platform and just dreaming of a better place? A better ending?"

"This is reality Jane. The Reapers are defeated, the relays are being rebuilt. There will be memorials, times when we'll all remember the lives that were taken." T'Soni held the hand that was still resting against her cheek. "What would be the point to all their sacrifices if we refuse to live?"

Jane had been listening to her lover the entire time she was talking; her voice always served to keep her calm, but it wasn't until she whispered those last few lines that their meaning finally penetrated the thick layer of alcohol in her system.

From the couch she could see Garrus and Tali nodding in agreement; the asari's words had resonated deeply with them too.

"I love you. So much." Shepard pulled Liara into a tight embrace and breathed in her intoxicating scent. "I'm so lucky to have you to talk sense into me."

"We have each other; we're both lucky."

The Turian cleared his throat as he began to feel uncomfortable. "Erm, we should probably leave you two alone," he suggested, though the Quarian by his side seemed in no hurry to leave.

Shepard chuckled as she emerged from her comfortable place. "It's ok Garrus, we're not going to do anything to embarrass you. Unless we already have? You could still have that drink you know," she teased, enjoying the warmth that was beginning to peek through her inner clouds.

Liara pushed the Commander roughly back into the seat, trying not to smile as the human laughed out loud. "Jane, don't be mean."

Shepard stared at the blue beauty in her lap, not the least bit interested in averting her gaze. "You know, we made a promise to these two. Now would be a good time to honour it."

The asari frowned for a second then blushed through a happy smile. "Of course, you're right."

"What promise?" Tali queried from behind her helmet.

Garrus saw the mischief in Shepard's eyes and thought he knew where this was going. "Does this have anything to do with a fireside conversation we had over a week ago?"

The Commander and Liara shared a shy smile and both nodded. "We're expecting," Shepard added as she placed a hand on Liara's stomach.

Tali's squeak of excitement sent ripples of laughter around the room. They spent the next couple of hours sharing their plans to build a modest home on Thessia, remaining on the asari home world while the galaxy righted itself again. They also assured aunt Tail and uncle Garrus that they would have space for them when they came to visit.

Shepard still wasn't entirely sober by the time the human/asari couple were back in their quarters, but the fog had lifted and she wasn't so worried about what tomorrow would bring.

Shepard threw her jacket in the general direction of the couch, then still standing, proceeded to try and take her boots off.

Liara stifled a laugh as the Commander wobbled on one foot, fell on the bed then rolled onto the floor with a loud 'oof'. With leisurely gait she moved around to the side of the bed and offered her lover a helping hand. She sat Shepard on the edge of the bed and began to help her with her boots.

Jane leant back on her arms, grinning down on top of the asari's head. Immediately an old crude joke came to mind and in a lecherous tone she slurred, "You know, while you're down there…"

Liara glanced up, a knowing glint in her eye. She rose gracefully onto her knees and leant forward slowly. Jane's pupils widened in anticipation. Liara watched the Commander's eyes slowly close and just as their lips were about to touch she pushed the human's arms out from beneath her, sending her crashing back onto the bed.

T'Soni resumed removing her partner's boots then helped her off with her trousers, all the while sniggering to herself as Jane grumbled something about 'not knowing who to trust these days' and 'certain people taking advantage'.

Once done with her task, Liara placed the Commander's boots and folded trousers on a nearby chair and began removing her own suit. She stood deliberately in the Commander's eye line as she reached for the hem of her shirt and pulled it slowly upward.

Despite her inebriated state, Shepard's rambling petered off and her gaze slowly fell on the half-naked asari.

"You're trying to distract me," she accused the young scientist with certainty.

Liara looked over her shoulder slightly at the prone human. "Is it working?"

Jane grinned and deliberately took her time answering as she drank in the vision before her. "No," she finally said, turning back to stare at the ceiling.

Liara's eyes narrowed playfully; she was beginning to love this playful side of her lover; the rarely seen facet of her personality that hadn't had a chance to shine during the war. T'Soni turned her back on the bed and made the most of her natural flexibility to bend almost in two as she began to remove her footwear. She knew immediately when those green eyes were watching her again when she heard a small half gasp, half groan escape from the direction of the bed. Once her boots were tucked neatly next to the couch she began making a show of removing her tight-fitting trousers.

Liara smiled when she heard the sliding of fabric on quilt and felt the presence of a heated body behind her. As she straightened up two arms snaked around her waist and the Commander's breath was warm against her crest.

"You are such a tease, you know that?" Shepard breathed into the asari's neck. "I should discipline you somehow."

Liara turned in the embrace and wrapped her arms around the Commander's neck. "Are you going to…? What did Jack call it? …" she stopped to find the right words, biting her bottom lip for a moment. "Spank me!?" she recalled excitedly.

Jane's eyebrows shot up and her focus left her lover's attractive bosom for a minute. "What have you been talking to Jack about?"

"I didn't invite the conversation; she just started speculating about our love life and had a few suggestions to make."

Jane raised her eyes to the ceiling and bit her tongue and she tried not to laugh. "Sometime soon you're going to have to tell me everything she said," she commented eventually.

Liara leant in slowly and captured Shepard's lips in a breathy open mouthed kiss. "It was… a… long list," she inserted between kisses.

Shepard's hands caressed the length of Liara's back and down past, what she personally considered, to be the most perfect ass in the galaxy. With total concentration she lifted her lover into her arms and carried her over to the bed.


	13. Chapter 13

**Three chapters uploaded, read 11 and 12 first!**

**Rough draft of the final chapter (nineteen) is complete and ready for editing, so have faith those of you who're hoping this isn't another one of those beloved pieces of fanfiction that stops coming just as you're really getting into it!**

**Now on to 'the walk of shame'...**

THIRTEEN

From the moment Miranda began to regain consciousness she felt the panic start to set in. Memories of the night before flooded back to her and with consummate caution she opened one eye to check for any signs of movement from her bed companion. When nothing but even breathing reached her from the other woman she let out a slow even sigh of relief.

She couldn't even begin to make sense of the choices she'd made the night before. From allowing Jack to corner her in the cargo bay, to inviting her back to her cabin. She barely recognised who she'd become, and that thought more than any other scared her.

As silently as possible, Miranda began to extract herself from the warm cocoon of terrifying intimacy and searched desperately for her clothes. She didn't care that it was her room and she should really be asking Jack to leave, she just had to get out of there before the other biotic woke up. 'How could you fall asleep!? You stupid, stupid woman,' she thought angrily. The answer came so quickly to mind that she wished she hadn't stopped to question it; hours spent driving each other to orgasm after orgasm had drained them of every ounce of energy, so that they simply fell into unconsciousness at some point during the early hours of the morning. The images now stored in her eidetic memory weaved in and out of her thoughts with gay abandon even as she tried to banish and deny their existence.

It took a bit of searching to find her underwear so after ten minutes she was stepping into her body suit, steadfastly avoiding looking at the figure in the bed.

If she had stolen a glance she would have seen two amused chocolate orbs staring back at her over the top of the bed sheet. Jack had pushed herself up onto her elbows and continued to watch Miranda panic-dress. If she had been anyone else she would probably be feeling hurt or at least a little bit annoyed that she was being abandoned after a night of amazing sex.

If she had been anyone else she wouldn't be finding the situation funny or endearing. 'Good thing for her I'm not anyone else,' her rather smug inner voice told her. Her smile widened as her lover stumbled while attempting to get into her 'onesie'.

"You could do with some practice at this whole sneaking out thing," Jack grinned at the 'deer in the headlights' look that suddenly shot her way.

"Bloody hell." Miranda quickly pulled her suit up over her hips and attempted to cover her torso with the sleeves.

"We could do this again tonight and you can sneak out again tomorrow morning. Though I gotta tell you, I'm not a deep sleeper," Jack continued unperturbed.

Miranda rolled her eyes and turned her back so she could continue to pull her suit on. "I can't do this again," she began, half talking to herself and the empty area of space in front of her. "I mean… it was good, amazing… but that's irrelevant," she shook her head clearing her mind of distracting memories, the knowledge that she'd willingly made herself vulnerable. She was oblivious to Jack's movements. "Because we are not… we're just… completely wrong." Miranda stopped as the other woman appeared suddenly in front of her, naked but for the usual covering of tattoos.

"Princess, is this goodbye speech gonna take long 'cause I've heard it before and I was kinda hoping I could use your shower."

Miranda awkwardly pushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She hated feeling this way; so unsure of herself and so readily lost for words. It just didn't happen to her. "You have?"

Jack snorted her amusement. "Only like a hundred times. We're too different to make this work. You have too many responsibilities. Blah, fuckin' blah. Every time you tried to sneak out on me; the same speech." Jack reached out a hand and found the zipper to Miranda's white suit. With a firm tug she began to pull it up, making the stern biotic shiver involuntarily, till the XO was her usual skin-tight self. "Crazy thing though; somehow we always manage to end up back here again, even after you lost all recollection of the many, many occasions we went at it like sailors on shore leave. You woke up without any memory of that; you effectively had a clean slate, and no post-battle stress to blame it on, and yet you still invited me into your bed last night." She stepped back a foot and let that thought sink in for a moment. "Despite all the reasons why we shouldn't work, we still keep ending up together. So why fight it?"

Miranda continued to stare at the woman she'd spent the night exchanging pleasure with, failing to find anything to counter the very simple logic she was now being presented with. It couldn't really be true; Miranda Lawson wasn't the sort of woman who had an early midlife crisis and eloped with the social outcast. She just needed time away from Jack's distracting nakedness to focus on her reasoning. Still her limbs refused to move and no sound escaped her mouth.

"You think it over," Jack suggested while backing up towards the washroom. "I'm just gonna have a shower, then I'll go wander round the ship; see what trouble I can get into." With a parting wink the rogue biotic disappeared behind the washroom door, leaving the ex-Cerberus operative to ponder her words.

* * *

Shepard moved as quietly as possible across her cabin, trying desperately not to wake her partner. There was still over a week to go until the Normandy was once again orbiting around Earth and reports had been coming in thick and fast regarding the situation back home. The Shadow Broker's remaining operatives in the Sol system were sending their boss hourly updates and Liara was running herself into the ground trying to keep up.

The Commander was trying to help where she could, including making sure she got enough sleep.

Jane rode the elevator down to the CIC first to check in with Specialist Traynor. It wasn't required that she check in personally with her crew every time she needed an update, and sometimes there was no choice but to use the com-system, but she was the kind of CO who liked to insert a personal touch into her job. People responded better to their jobs when they felt appreciated for their efforts and when their superiors bothered to remember their names and check in with them face to face. She had first witnessed this with her father and during her many hours spent amongst the crew she'd almost never heard a bad word said about him. It wasn't essential that they liked her per se, though most of her crew did, but it was important that they respected her.

Shepard disembarked the elevator behind the galaxy map and glanced around. It was early, 0500 Earth time, and the alpha shift hadn't started yet. The beta shift was beginning to wind down in preparation for the arrival of their replacements, but they were still alert and those who saw her pass acknowledged her presence with a nod or salute before returning to their boards.

In the cockpit, EDI had the helm. The soft sounds of Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata slid tantalisingly through her mind as she stepped up behind the pilot's chair to say good morning to her synthetic friend.

"I take it you've finished with Wagner then?" Shepard asked in place of her greeting.

"Yes."

"What did you think?" The Commander pressed.

"I enjoyed 'The Ring', it was as Engineer Adams suggested 'dark and intense'. Jeff disagreed and requested that I isolate my exploration of classical music to the night shift, which is unfortunate as it will take twice as long to access all the data files I have stored," EDI added regretfully.

"Can't you… internalise the sound somehow? Sort of like wearing headphones?" Shepard suggested.

The AI shook her head slowly. "I prefer using exterior speakers; I like the acoustics. Besides, Jeff says I hum… I am considering creating a composition of my own when you no longer have need of my services," she added after a beat.

Shepard's eyebrow rose, pleasantly surprised. "That sounds like a great idea EDI, though you don't have to wait; you're entitled to R&R too you know. I have one or two other pilots who can take the beta shift."

"I do not believe Jeff would like that."

"No, you're probably right. I think the only reason he ever consents to sleeping is because he knows you'll be here." Shepard chuckled in agreement. "You wouldn't necessarily have to leave the cockpit though; if you're comfortable here you could work on that composition while my beta pilot steers us home. What do you think?"

EDI's head cocked slightly to one side as she paused to think for a moment. "That would be acceptable. Thank you Shepard."

"No problem," the Commander smiled, happy to help. "Anything exciting happen last night besides the Ride of the Valkyrie?"

"Two data packets were received for you from Admiral Hackett and several for Dr. T'Soni from various sources," the AI responded promptly.

After chatting to EDI for a few minutes longer Shepard made her way back to the galaxy map to talk to Traynor.

"Hey Sam. You got anything new for me?" Jane asked without preamble.

"More of the same from Earth, Commander." Traynor told her. "Admiral Hackett asked again for an eta of our arrival; the Council wants to talk with you before you decide to travel down to Earth. There have been some concerns regarding the latest candidates for the position of human councillor."

Shepard rubber a hand over her face in mounting frustration. "The war's barely over and the vultures are already circling," she groaned to herself. "Any good news?"

Sam grimaced and shook her head regretfully. "Repairs to the relay are continuing on schedule, but that's about the best of it."

"What about the street gangs, any progress?"

"Alliance presence only seems to be making things worse," Sam sighed. "In the city centres the locals are scared. They've lost too much already; they're reluctant to risk more."

Shepard shook her head, disbelieving. "You'd think that after surviving something like a Reaper invasion they'd be a little more resistant to forced occupation."

"I think the Admiral is hoping that you'll be able to rally some resistance," Traynor added with an apologetic tone.

Jane rested her forearms against the railing and lowered her head for a moment. "So much for immediate retirement," she mumbled to herself. Straightening up again she took a stabilising breath. "How widespread are these insurgents now?"

Shepard continued to quiz Specialist Traynor for another twenty minutes before leaving her to her job and finally making her way to Liara's base of operations. Her head and heart were both heavy with the increasing reports of violence and disruption from Earth. It was an outcome that she had foreseen the possibility of during the war, but hadn't had the time or resources to prepare for. The optimistic side of her had hoped that her people would find it in themselves to help their fellow man and rise above their petty selfishness, but it had apparently been a naïve hope to entertain.

'I wonder if it's like that on Palaven or Thessia,' she wondered to herself. She had met plenty of criminals amongst the asari and turians to know that they were not above reproach, but couldn't help but consider the differences in their species post apocalypse. 'We should all be pulling together damn it!'

The door to the Shadow Broker's HQ whooshed open in front of her and she stepped inside without really seeing her surroundings. Jane was halfway to the multi-panelled wall before she sighted the very familiar figure perched on the edge of the room's only bed.

Liara's eyes held the slightest tinge of reproach, likely for not having woken her when Shepard had left their quarters over an hour ago, but mostly her expression was full of love and warmth.

"I take it you've read the latest from Earth?" Jane commented as she began accessing the Broker feeds.

Liara smiled sadly. "You'd think with the war won there would be more good news to go around," she quipped in an attempt to be light-hearted.

"Admiral Hackett's latest report was not very encouraging," the young asari commented as she rose from the bed and moved to stand close to her lover. She placed a comforting hand on the small of Jane's back as the screen brought up the latest news feeds.

"Christ," Shepard muttered as she began to read the reports. Half way down the page she began to feel the cramp in her hands where her grip was too tight on the edge of the desk. She eventually closed her eyes in frustration and disgust and felt her partner leaning over her to switch the monitor off. "It never ends," she groaned angrily. "All that effort; all those months, years, fighting for their freedom, and they're just throwing it away!"

Liara wrapped her arms around the Commander from behind and laid a calming kiss on her neck. "Shhh, love. We'll find a way to restore the balance, somehow."

"How?"

Liara tightened her embrace and breathed in her lover's scent. "One day at a time."

Shepard forced herself to relax into the asari's warm body, savouring the unconditional support. "We need to start by fixing the supply chains," the Commander offered after a long pause. "Right now the gangs have the monopoly on food sources so residents have no choice but to deal with them."

"The Alliance could offer incentives to residents who 'grow their own'," Liara added, the enthusiasm in her voice not going amiss as she adopted Shepard's brainwave. "Every asari ship is supplied with a dozen or so bio-domes. Each one has the potential to feed the crew for a month."

The Commander remained serious as she broke from her favourite blue arms and began to wander the length of the cabin. "The Alliance would have to offer some form of protection over local allotments. Once word is out, the leaders of these gangs will be looking to claim any new resources."

"You said last night that these gangs will mostly consist of citizens who have no other means to support themselves. What if the Alliance was to offer them a truce; protect the supply chains for a share of the wares?"

Jane's face lit up at this suggestion. "That's not a bad idea… Not bad at all." She regained her pacing while mulling the thought over in her head, looking for possible down sides. "They would have to be emotionally invested somehow," she thought out loud. "Otherwise nothing would stop some of them from being turned again."

"Only some of them," Liara added. "I can't believe that so many could extort their neighbours if they were given an alternative."

Shepard smiled at her lover with a mix of hope and admiration. "I knew there was still an optimist in there somewhere," she commented affectionately. They shared a long look of adoration before returning to their mutual train of thought. "What about the media?" The Commander suggested at length.

"To police the insurgents?" Asked the asari doubtfully.

"Yeah… Let me think about this." She lowered herself into the closest chair and sank her head into her hands, blocking out all distraction. Before long her eyes resurfaced, a trace of hope once again reflecting through those green orbs. "People are panicking because they haven't really got a clue what's going on with the rest of the world. Most of the news is focussed on the relays and the aliens orbiting the planet. They're probably not worried too much about the turians or quarians, but…"

"The asari, krogans, salarians and what's left of aria's forces can all eat their food," T'Soni filled in with a hint of despondency.

Shepard looked apologetic for a moment. "Sadly yes, I think that will be part of the problem. Who knows what lies most people are being fed right now? Once an idea gets started, it's very hard to stop it spreading."

"I imagine groups like Terra Firma will be taking the opportunity to promote their policies," Liara thought out loud as she returned to her computer and began inputting search parameters for TF supporters.

"No doubt," Shepard agreed with annoyance.

"I'll see what I can do to disrupt their campaigns; hopefully that'll give us more scope for pushing a co-operative agenda."

Shepard stared at her lover from behind for a moment, taking a moment to appreciate the help. "What would I do without you?"

Liara glance over her shoulder and offered the Commander a sultry look. "That is a pointless question as I have no intention of ever leaving you."

Shepard smiled, comforted by the simple reassurance. "If the media could concentrate on what's being done to rectify the situation ground side it might help to stem the tide of panic. I just wish that there was some let up with landing restrictions; I think if all those council races who have offered to help were given the chance, then there would be a greater feeling of good will all round." She continued to think aloud, wandering aimlessly around the cabin.

She missed the adoring gaze that turned her way at first and when she stopped again to look to her partner for an opinion found herself looking into blue eyes that observed her with a mixture of curiosity and awe; an expression she'd become very familiar with early on in their friendship.

"You've got that 'I want to dissect you and find out how you tick' look again. Haven't seen that one in a while," she teased, enjoying the break from the social politics.

Liara blushed slightly, prompting the Commander to abandon her tactical appraisal in favour of eliciting further emotional responses from her mate. The young Shadow Broker hated being reminded of her less than impressive verbal skills from when they were aboard the Normandy SR1, but occasionally had to put up with Jane's good natured ribbing. It always reminded her that she hadn't ever managed to live up to her mother's verbose reputation during the matriarch's life, regardless of Shepard and her father's insistence that she was just as influential as Benezia even at only 109 years old.

"I hate this part of our story; you're the dashing soldier and I'm the bumbling idiot," Liara complained, earning her a saddened look from her lover.

Shepard took hold of the asari's waist and turned her so they were face to face. "It was endearing and one of the reasons I fell in love with you. Sweet-heart, you have to stop regretting a part of you that makes you… who you are."

"Easy enough for the dashing soldier to say," T'Soni returned, trying to inject an edge of humour into her tone.

Shepard wrapped her arms more firmly around her lover, pulling their bodies closer together. Whatever Liara's problem was with her memories of her younger self she was struggling to disclose and the Commander was determined that she wouldn't give up on getting to the bottom of it. Even if that meant occasionally reminding her partner of those first few awkward conversations. "You could tell me about your interest in me. I've been told I'm fascinating."

Liara levelled amused but exasperated eyes at her partner. "Oh be quiet," she advised as she tried to put a finger over Shepard's lips.

"I'd be an interesting specimen for an in-depth study," Shepard said around the blue digit.

"Just shut up," Liara huffed and thinking that it might help to silence the chatty Commander pulled Jane into a heated make out session which went on for several minutes.

As the embrace became more tender and the kisses softer Shepard placed a few parting touches along the asari's jaw before she pulled back and caressed the side of her lover's face. They couple shared a longing look before the Commander announced with a mischievous twinkle, "There's something compelling about me."

T'Soni threw her hands up in the air, her face tuning a deeper shade of blue as a once forgotten embarrassment returned in full force. "Arg! Are you ever going to drop this?"

Shepard shook her head. "Not until you tell me why you hate it so much." She leant back slightly so she could capture the play of emotions across the asari's face and hoped that what she was going to say wouldn't offend her lover too much. "You're a badass information broker with probably more power than even the Council and I love that you're happy with that, but you used to be bashful and adorably twitchy and sometimes I miss that." Liara broke eye contact and looked down to where Jane's arms were wound around her. Shepard pushed on. "There's this gaping hole in our relationship where I can't always account for how you're feeling. Sometimes I think it must be how Miranda feels with her memory loss; one minute Jack's throwing chairs at her and threatening termination, the next she's looking after orphans and making eyes at her. I missed two years of your life; I'm struggling to catch up."

Liara lifted her eyes reluctantly. Next to the loss of their first child and the death of her mother, this was her least favourite topic and Shepard kept insisting on bringing it up. "You died. I had to live without you. What more is there to say?"

"When did you go from ambitious archaeologist to ruthless information broker?"

"You know the how, and the why," Liara insisted with a hint of annoyance.

"The whole deal with Feron and recovering my body for Cerberus, right?" The asari nodded. Shepard sighed.

Her partner was either avoiding looking directly at her or staring her down and willing her to drop the subject. She hated having to push, but her instincts told her that she needed to. "So that was when you shoved the archaeologist deep down inside and buried her for good?"

T'Soni let out an exasperated sigh. How had they gone from making out to this inquisition in such a short time? "Why does it matter? I was fighting to make sure you didn't end up in the hands of the Collectors, which probably would have made you part of their human-reaper, and I had to toughen up to do it."

Jane looked closer into the blue eyes that she loved so much, seeing a deeper pain that Liara couldn't or wouldn't voice. Then it hit her like a battering ram and her lover's words came back to her with a clarity that she'd been unable to reach with her mind so focussed on duty and responsibility. It was so simple that she immediately felt stupid and inconsiderate.

Liara had had to live. For all the asaris' philosophy about making the most of the time they had together and not focussing on the inevitable separation from their partners, they were just as susceptible to heartbreak as any other species when that separation occurred unexpectedly.

Liara had been torn apart inside and had forced herself to get up and keep moving. She'd put the pieces back together as best she could and perhaps that meant leaving out the pieces that made her hurt, made her vulnerable and reminded her of what she'd lost.

Shepard pulled Liara into her arms and closed her eyes as she tried to impart every ounce of support to her partner as she could. She felt the dampness through her shirt before she heard the quiet gasps of breath that signalled her lover's distress, but instead of trying to offer words of comfort she just held the young maiden tighter and rocked her gently, letting a few stray tears of her own escape.

Perhaps at some point in their future Liara would be able to share the pain she'd endured during those two years and perhaps eventually some of the old Liara would shine through again. Shepard knew it would take time, mostly time for her partner to be less worried about losing the Commander again, but now she was certain that eventually they'd get there.

**Is nothing ever just fixed!? ...**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey guys, sorry for the long wait. I'm half way through Easter break and I'm still not getting much done! Had a great few days camping. No laptop to do any editing, but lots of time to sit in the sun with pen and paper :-)**

**Hope these next few chapters are not too disjointed; there were big breaks in between flurries of writing this fic and ideas can sometimes change without notice. Let me know what you think of the speech in the next chapter - I had to stop myself rereading it in the end 'cause I kept wanting to rewrite it but wasn't sure what exactly was wrong with it.**

**Thanks as always to those who take time to review and to offer gentle criticism. Both are always needed and appreciated!**

**In response to the comment about the suddenness of Shepard's 'drinking problem' I agree that it was abrupt and didn't flow very well. I have been trying different ways of making Shepard seem normal and subject to the same ups and downs that we all are. The drinking reflected my own struggles at the time of writing after realising that I was falling into a bad habit of drinking to forget. When exactly do habits become addictions? Many times it's difficult for us to see how much we're slipping until someone points it out to us. I was fortunate enough to see it early.**

**Anyhoo, enough heavy stuff. Get some fluff!**

FOURTEEN  


It was nearing 10pm. The alpha shift had been off duty since 20:00 hours, the children were in their quarters and Miranda Lawson was desperately trying to find something meaningful to do.

She had succeeded in avoiding Jack all day, using the surveillance feeds to track the woman whenever she wanted to leave her office, though for most of the day she'd just locked herself away and willed her body and mind to forget the previous night. It was easier said than done though as not only had her memories from the last 24 hours assaulted her at random intervals, but new, or rather, old and forgotten ones had joined them.

A mid-afternoon trip to see Dr. Michel had confirmed what she already suspected; her synaptic pathways had begun to repair themselves and the recovery was proceeding at an exponential rate. By the time they were back on Earth she would have all of her memories back.

Last night's antics had triggered the largest part of her reawakened thoughts and almost sixteen hours after leaving the pony-tailed biotic in her shower, Miranda had finally begun to accept that there was more between them than just sex. She remembered heated arguments and making up, but also moments of tenderness and a playful banter that appealed to the side of her that had craved friendship as a child.

Jack wasn't just a professional thug moulded by an evil corporation, there were hidden depths within her troubled mind that were strangely comforting to someone who had been pushed, by her father and then by her own ambition, to strive towards perfection.

As the day had worn on it had become increasingly difficult to resist the idea of 'accidentally' running into Jack while on her way to complete some fabricated task. A couple of times towards the end of the afternoon she'd switched on the monitor just to watch Jack as she worked with the biotic children; the skinny woman's carefree attitude bringing a smile and ultimately a conflicted frown to the XO's face.

Miranda tapped her fingernails on the desk rhythmically while she scrolled through her mail for the third time. The Commander had forwarded every unclassified piece of significant news from the Sol system, knowing that the brainy biotic would want to keep her finger on the political pulse, but she hadn't found much to keep her interested. It wasn't really surprising that there was unrest on Earth; greedy opportunists would always rear their ugly heads where there was the chance to make money off of other people's fear and misery. With most of the upper echelon decimated, someone would inevitably step all over their neighbour to fill the void.

How did anyone assume that people came into power in the first place?

* * *

Once she'd spent some time with Jane, mostly just lying in her arms as they shared their thoughts on random topics while avoiding the subject of the asari's personality change, Liara made the commander return to her duties and contacted her father with a request to meet her after dinner.

Aethyta relaxed in the lounge, looking like she didn't have a care in the world."Hey kid. Shepard finally let you out of the bedroom huh? I wasn't sure I'd get any time alone with you on this trip." She teased the young asari habitually.

Liara rolled her eyes at the predictable comment from her father and grabbed a soft drink from the bar before sitting opposite the matriarch. "You know very well that we haven't been spending all our time in the bedroom. Shepard has a ship to run and I've got to keep on top of work too."

Aethyta shook her head as if she was disappointed that her daughter was being responsible. "Youth really is wasted on the young," she scoffed as she took a swig from her mug.

"Is that a human expression?" Liara wondered out loud. She had heard Jane say similar things while amongst others of her species.

Aethyta nodded. "Dr Chakwas ran that one by me after treating a couple of crewmen for work related muscle strain. They sat at their stations for too long," she added with a roll of her eyes. "When I was a maiden 'muscle strain' was common, but not from overworking."

Liara ignored the wink from her father and tried not to wonder why the matriarch was spending a lot of time in the med-bay. "Jane and I have responsibilities that we can't ignore," she insisted stubbornly. "At least until the relay is operational. Then it will depend on how much damage Thessia sustained."

The older asari shook her head knowingly. "Kid, when you've lived a thousand years you'll realise that disasters come and go; planets fall and people die and there's not a damned thing you can do about it. Sometimes you do what you can to help, but there's a time when you have to realise that you're not the only one responsible for keeping the entire galaxy working. You and Shepard have a habit of making everything your business. Just because someone needs rescuing doesn't mean you always have to be the rescuer."

"Are you saying we should just sit by while people are hurt or dying?" Liara frowned at this unexpected insight into her father's thoughts.

"Nah, I'm not suggesting that. But helping doesn't always mean that you have to jump into the fire. The Commander should know how to delegate, and it wouldn't do you any harm to start learning that skill." Aethyta leant back in her chair and smiled at the conflicting thoughts passing across her daughter's face. "Part of being a parent is letting your kids make mistakes. Sometimes it's the only way they learn how to take care of themselves." She glanced poignantly at the young shadow broker. "Helping sometimes means letting people fall. How do you think you managed to grow into such an independent young maiden?"

Liara's mouth twisted as she tried to decide whether to be amused or indignant. She settled on mildly annoyed but tried to keep in mind that her father was attempting to pass on a millennia's worth of wisdom and experience, instead of focussing on the emptiness that came from never having been allowed to know her father. "Are you trying to tell me that being an absent father was a clever plan to make me more self-sufficient?"

Aethyta chuckled throatily. "Nah Kid. As much as I wanted to be a part of your life, things just didn't work out that way. It sucks but it is what it is. I was almost as bad a father as I was a mother; ask your sister someday. But you're both strong, smart and compassionate. I must have done something right, even if it was only choosing the right partner and not inflicting my unique way of thinking on you until now."

Liara shook her head and sighed, but despite herself she felt a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. "You'll have to introduce me to my sister. That is, if she's still alive," she added with sudden concern.

The matriarch sat up a little straighter as her expression became slightly more serious. "She was running a refugee shelter on Illium last time I spoke to her. That was only a couple of hours before the relays went down and she seemed to be doing ok. Guess we'll find out before too long," she shrugged. "So," she began with reawakened energy. "When are you going to break the news to your dear old dad? I still don't feel old enough to be a grandparent, but I know several asari who are younger than me who are already great-grandparents."

The young shadow broker's jaw dropped and she stared at her father speechlessly for several seconds. "How...?"

Aethyta grinned. "You've got that same glow that your mother had when she became pregnant with you. You've almost lost Shepard twice now. And there's always a baby boom after a war; it's a biological instinct to repopulate the species."

Now that the initial shock was wearing off, Liara smiled and blushed. "You're right, we're expecting. That was primarily the reason I wanted to talk to you today."

"So I guess duty hasn't completely taken over your lives," Aethyta teased, laughing to herself when her daughter's blush deepened. "Ah Kid, it's about time you got something back after busting your ass the last few years. I'm happy for you. You do realise that this is all the more reason to take my advice about you and Shepard needing to tone down the heroics, don't you? The Commander isn't going to be around in a couple of hundred years when your daughter wants to re-connect with her absent father."

Liara nodded, not taking the slightest bit of offence at her father's words. It was dawning on her more and more that, deep down, the matriarch regretted not having been a big part of her life. "Which is why Shepard is trying so hard to settle her duties with the Alliance before the relays are operational. And why we both want to return to Thessia as soon as possible."

Aethyta nodded slowly; inwardly impressed with Liara's forward thinking. "It's not going to be easy giving up this life of adventure to be parents you know," she warned gently. "But I have faith in you kid."

"I'm hoping that I'll be able to call on my dad now and then for advice," Liara suggested tentatively.

"I'd be disappointed if you didn't," Aethyta admitted. "Who knows, we might actually be living on the same planet for a few decades. You might find it hard to get rid of me!"

* * *

Nervous yet determined fingers punched in the command code to activate the door to the VIP quarters. The Cornucopia was slightly larger than the Normandy and had been designed originally for diplomatic missions, hence the need for somewhere comfy to house visitors. It tickled the XO that their current 'VIP' was not only a psychotic ex-convict but that she, Miranda Lawson, daughter of Henry Lawson and once the right hand to the most powerful man in Cerberus, was seriously considering a relationship with said VIP.

Of course the room assignment had more to do with the fact that there were very few private rooms other than the captain's and these quarters were only a deck away from the dorms assigned to the children, which had suited Jack well. The brash woman had joked that sexing up a senior officer was chock full of hidden rewards, which to XO Lawson's horror had made her blush.

As she entered and let the door close with a resounding swish and clunk of finality, Miranda's eyes searched the room. Before she could even begin to comprehend that she was alone her sharp ears caught the sound of running water and… singing?

She sat on the end of the bed and listened. Her surprise soon gave way to amusement and as she began to picture the woman in the shower her half smile grew 'til she could not help the disbelieving chuckle that tripped over her tongue a moment later.

This was why she'd come to Jack's room. This was why she had finally abandoned her desk and admitted that there was more to her desire to see Jack than just sex. The woman was an enigma most of the time, but behind closed doors she was usually fun, passionate and surprisingly insightful. A world away from the chaotic violence that had greeted her and Shepard aboard the prison ship Purgatory.

It had seemed like such an impossible thing to do to think of Jack as a positive force in her life. During her recovery she'd actively avoided and rejected any companionable association with the other biotic, thinking that it was beneath her. Now she could appreciate just how much she enjoyed and benefitted from their relationship, despite how changeable and fragile it could be at times.

When Jack waltzed out into the bedroom, naked but for the towel on her head, Miranda felt her pulse quicken. Desire was such a strange and unpredictable thing. Jack was skinny and moody and yet the sight of her had the XO's mouth watering and southern regions aching for her touch.

Zero's eyebrows shot up as she spotted her visitor, though the expression of surprise soon became a sultry smirk. Hungry chocolate eyes licked the length of Lawson's usual skin-tight frame but before she could open her mouth to comment on the other woman's unexpected appearance, Miranda attacked her and pushed her against the nearest wall.

Jack's hands travelled immediately to Miranda's prominent rear and pulled them closer together. The tender bite of finger nails against her scalp and a determined tongue in her mouth made the skinny biotic's mind blank but for the various positions her lustful imagination threw at her.

The XO slowed the kiss to a few deep and gentle strokes before nibbling lightly on Jack's delicious lower lip and moving away slightly. "Shut up," she ordered with a coy smile, pre-empting anything her lover was thinking of saying.

Jack grinned and pecked the blue-eyed biotic on the chin. "Whatever you say, Princess," she replied as she reacquainted their mouths and pulled them both to the floor.

Some hours later, after Jack had overcome her shock at finding the other biotic waiting in her room and Miranda had helped her to dry off, then get sweaty again, the couple lay sated in bed with arms and legs tangled comfortably together.

When Miranda's breathing levelled out she began to study her lover more closely. "I like what you've done with your hair," she commented after a long silence.

Jack sniggered. "Well I got fed up of you bitching 'bout having nothing to hold on to." She leaned up on her elbows and grinned at the blush that had suffused Lawson's face.

The 'cheerleader' looked away as she tried to calm the blood rising to her cheeks. She didn't have to try to imagine what Jack was alluding to; she'd gripped the woman's hair many times during the night's throws of passion. Slowly she felt her colour return to normal and wondered again about the ease that Jack seemed to have with their gradually developing intimacy. Since her memories had almost completely returned, she'd found it easier to jump into bed with the rogue biotic, but the slowly awakening realisation that their arrangement was becoming more of a conventional relationship made her stomach clench in fear. Why was it that Jack was so much better with their increasing 'normality'?

"How is it that you're ok with any of this?"

Jack shifted slightly from beneath the other woman and frowned as she looked deep into blue eyes. "You mean because I'm a psychotic sociopath?"

"Well… yeah," Miranda blushed again at the ease with which Jack could read her thoughts.

"I dunno," she shrugged as she pushed herself up to recline against the pillows. "I'm probably being a complete dumb ass, setting myself up for heart-ache all that dumb shit… but I don't care."

Miranda's mouth hung open for a few seconds. Who was this woman and what had she done with Jack? "How can you not care?!"

"I survived Cerberus, dumb fucks who tried to use me, Purgatory, the Collectors, Cerberus again and the fuckin' Reapers." The ex-con shrugged again, deciding not to take offence at her lover's incredulity. Since their last big fight and Miranda's subsequent injury, Jack had experienced a myriad of emotions surrounding the loss of their unique connection. Now that the gorgeous operative was back in her arms, she had decided to be almost completely laid back about 'them'. What she'd said to Miranda about them repeatedly ending up together even through a war, betrayal and a near death experience, had embedded itself in her psyche and gave her the balls to just 'let go'. "At this point I figure it's time to kick back and just go with it."

* * *

The return journey to the Sol system had been smoother than Shepard had expected. She had to congratulate her crew on a fantastic job completed; the rescue mission, the engineering and maintenance that had brought the Normandy back to life and the attention to detail that had ensured their safety as they travelled back to Earth.

Almost as soon as she'd left the ship, Shepard had been pounced upon by the Council. There was still a general intention amongst the alien allies of supporting the humans while they had no option of returning to aid their own people. However, their many offers to help had been rebuffed time and again by the general population and bitter feelings had begun to appear all round. Turians were calling them arrogant; the asari, foolish; the salarians had a great many names for the humans; the geth called them illogical, and the quarians refused to comment, but were responding less and less to the Alliance's requests for updates. All in all Shepard found the whole situation similar to a bunch of children squabbling on a playground.

"Councillors," the commander greeted with a respectful nod. "I'm glad to see you're all in one piece… mostly," she added as her gaze fell on the contraption on Vallern's arm. Liara had told her that when the rebooted Reaper had headed towards the relay and the Destiny Ascension, Vallern had panicked and tried to run, resulting in him falling over several crewmen and pulling his arm in completely the wrong direction.

With Vallern being one of her least favourite councillors, Shepard didn't feel the least bit bad about spending an entire day giggling sporadically to herself.

"We're gratified to be able to say the same about you commander," Tevos said smoothly in her usual calming tone. "We apologise for the necessity of pulling you away from your crew at this time."

"Thank you councillor. I hope we can cover all the most pressing issues today so any other issues can be dealt with over standard communications." She kept her stance and expression firm to convey the impression that she was serious about not having to meet with them again anytime soon. "Progress with the relay looks good and should be ready to test in four weeks. As I'll be heading to Thessia with Liara as soon as we're given the all-clear, I need to make sure that I've done everything necessary on Earth beforehand."

"Which I think brings us to the issue of the reapers," Sparatus growled in a predictable tone of disapproving superiority. "Despite the childish stunt you pulled during your reactivation of the reapers, the general consensus is that we should offer you the position of Human Councillor."

It was obvious from his expression that it was the last thing he wanted to agree to and was only voicing the offer himself to save face. It was also evident that he expected her to jump at the chance of such a prestigious position of power and felt that he was throwing her a bone.

Shepard resisted the sudden urge to smirk at him and turned to address the asari instead. "It's a very generous offer councillors but I'm sure you can understand that I need a break from politics for a while. I just spent the best part of the last few years trying to persuade stubborn politicians to believe the impossible and work together in the face of their probable annihilation, which was a far more onerous task than I anticipated. The last thing I want right now is to jump back into that fire."

She felt the steadily increasing tension and relaxed her stance to appear less threatening. "I may be popular right now but I don't think I'm the best person for the job. My apologies if that seems… childish."

Sparatus grunted and Tevos threw him a warning glance. Vallern seemed unperturbed by the exchange or the commander's unsubtle reference to their infighting and obtuse attitudes over the years. "We will leave the position open while we consider other candidates, though so far the applicants have not been promising."

At this assessment of her people's leaders, Shepard reluctantly agreed. "Unfortunately human politicians are widely and historically acknowledged as being self-serving, two-faced and greedy ass-kissers or blatant tyrants. There may be one or two potential candidates that I can think of who will fit the bill. Though it might take some time to convince them of that. I'll see what I can do. In the meantime I want to discuss some strategies I'm working on to restore the balance of power on Earth…"

The council listened as Shepard outlined the main points of her discussion with Liara and the proposal she'd put to the admirals if they were willing to relax some of the no-fly regulations. When she had their approval they pressed her on her intentions for utilising her control of the reapers and some were more eager than others to ensure that she wasn't planning on using them to enforce her already powerful status. Sparatus was not at all subtle when he inferred that she was at great risk of becoming a tyrant in her efforts to 'make peace' as her history proved that she wasn't above making use of all and any resources to meet her ends.

"Well councillor, if you ever get wind of my plans to make them into a boy-band aimed at pre-teen girls then you'll know that I've fallen to the dark-side and need to be put down immediately." Jane didn't bother to hide her sarcasm this time and turned back to the other two leaders again, dismissing the Turian before he could succeed in actually making her angry. "There is one more thing I would like to discuss with you."

Ignoring the twitching of her colleague's mandibles Tevos nodded for the commander to continue.

"The Cerberus inhabited planet we discovered when recovering the Normandy," she stated. "Our initial findings suggest that as well as being unaware of our conflict with the Reapers, the planet had been untraceable up to now. EDI discovered a residual dampening field and deleted files in Cerberus' archives that held false information, all designed to mask the planet's true potential and dissuade anyone from investigating further. We know of at least one other location of a Cerberus facility but have no idea how many more there may be out there."

"Cerberus could not possibly have discovered and hidden numerous habitable planets. That's preposterous!"

Shepard took a long breath through her nose and placed both hands behind her back to keep them from throttling the Turian. "I was not suggesting that they had. I simply meant to pass along my concerns and advise you not to dismiss Cerberus as a threat simply because The Illusive Man is dead."

"Perhaps we should reconsider our decision to include humans in the council. Your species has a disturbing proclivity for aggression and secrecy." Sparatus was beginning to rant, displaying more and more his true feelings on the subject of humanity.

The commander, who was still determined not to give him the satisfaction of provoking her, took another steadying breath and changed her tone to one she might have used with a particularly precocious child. "If you are considering promoting the evaluation of an entire species based on the behaviour of a small outspoken percentage, you might want to look at the history of a few of your own people." The Turian councillor began to open his mouth, probably to berate her, but Shepard didn't give him the opportunity to continue. "I have met many ruthless, aggressive, cold, calculating and quite frankly insane individuals amongst every race I've encountered, including turians, asari and salarians." She paused, realising that she was lecturing them again she changed her tone and tried to inject some semblance of respect. "Thankfully I prefer to keep my impressions of people to the individuals I meet. I appreciate that humans can appear like bullies when a determined few decide to go on a rampage, but I'd ask you to remember that you owe your own lives to the sacrifices of many thousands of them."

The meeting was brought to a quiet end with even Sparatus nodding respectfully as they parted ways. Jane took a few calming breaths as she walked briskly towards the shuttle bay where Steve was waiting for her. She was just approaching the security check-point when a familiar voice called her name. With a sigh, Shepard turned to face Tevos expecting either a gentle telling off for her attitude towards the council or excuses for her colleague's behaviour.

"Councillor Tevos, did we forget something?" She queried, standing to attention.

Tevos smiled at the human's defensive posture. "Do you have a few minutes to walk with me Commander?" She didn't wait for an answer and cocked her head to one side as she strolled towards a deserted corridor which overlooked the docking bay.

Shepard's inherent politeness prevented her from ignoring the gentle request so she found herself looking down on her shuttle as she waited for the asari to speak.

"I apologise for Sparatus. He's always been stubborn and still hasn't resolved his feelings towards humans from the first contact war. Nevertheless, under the constant criticism he does actually have some nice things to say about you Commander."

"I suppose I should feel grateful then," Jane commented with a sprinkling of sarcasm. "Is that all councillor?"

Tevos smiled again, though Shepard detected the hint of a blush this time; a slight purpling of the skin high on her cheeks, just like Liara when she was embarrassed. "I want to ask a favour of you Commander." Shepard's eyebrows rose as her curiosity piqued; something told her that this favour was not of the work related variety. She nodded for the asari to continue. "I have a… personal message that I need delivered to an… unconventional individual. She is someone who you can get close to without everyone questioning your motives and intentions."

Shepard's expression softened as she began to understand where Tevos was going with her request. She and Liara had talked at length about the councillor's secret history with the queen of Omega and had wondered whether there wasn't still something going on between the two. Tevos had seemed far too accommodating towards Aria when the criminal had been stranded on the Citadel. She couldn't begin to imagine how hard it was for the two to keep up even a tentative relationship in their chosen occupations.

There was no way she would accept a lifestyle that forced her to stay away from her lover for long periods; not now that the war was over.

Snapping out of her internal musings, Jane nodded her understanding. "I had planned on visiting with her briefly to check in on the status of her 'troops'. It'll be simple enough to give her your message."

Tevos hesitated. "You seem very confident that you know who I'm referring to."

Shepard smiled in a know-it-all fashion. "Don't concern yourself Councillor; the current Shadow Broker is quite fond of you. You don't need to worry about finding your secrets being aired with other galactic news or sold to the highest bidder." She paused to let this sink in then continued in a more solemn tone. "I'm sorry for your loss too. I hope Kai Leng's death will help to bring you some closure."

The councillor stiffened briefly as she caught the soldier's meaning. As far as she'd known only one other person had known that she was Liselle's father – Liselle's mother. Discovering that her secret was apparently known by the most infamous information broker in the galaxy came as a shock. Who knew how far that tid-bit had travelled before Liara had taken over from the yahg?

Shepard worried for a moment that Tevos was going to burst; the asari didn't appear to breathe for longer than was comfortable. Finally the councillor took a long steadying breath and returned from the vista she had turned to in order to calm her thoughts.

"I appreciate your concern Commander. It's enough to know that he can't hurt anyone else. You might find that you'll have to give someone a blow-by-blow account of his demise though," Tevos added with a hint of pity for the encounter Jane would soon be having with Aria.

By the time Shepard was back on her shuttle and had given Steve the go ahead to return to The Normandy she was craving some alone time with Liara.

Before her encounter with the 'Star Child' and the end of the war she'd envisioned a short period of 'yay, we're still alive' meetings followed by an indefinite period of shore leave with Liara while the politicians took control of rebuilding the galaxy. While Jane had imagined helping out her neighbours wherever she and Liara chose to settle for a while, she really hadn't expected to be called on to continue sorting out every little quarrel that sparked interest with the Alliance or the Council.

Sometimes she really did feel like a glorified baby-sitter.

While the Alliance Headquarters and Relay alike were still undergoing repairs, the Alliance Brass had opted to stay in orbit.

Shepard tried to imagine that it had nothing to do with avoiding the unrest on Earth or keeping a suspicious eye on their new allies.

Either way, her superiors' decision to stay in orbit meant that she had to stay for a few more days too.

Tali, Garrus and Aethyta had been reunited with their respective species. They had offered their skills to help their people cope with the aftermath of victory. The waiting game they were all now playing, as Shepard's hulking minions continued to work on the relay had everyone feeling the tension.

The Cornucopia had been returned to an Alliance docking station and Miranda had been requested to stay under Shepard's command until a hearing could be organised to judge her for her involvement with Cerberus. As Jack wouldn't leave without her lover and the children didn't want to return to Earth without their hero, they had all crowded back onto the Normandy.

While they were docked at least, most of the crew had been able to disembark, which left real bunks for the children to sleep on. However, after two weeks of travelling and no wide open fields to play in as they tested their biotic skills, they had started to get restless.

Jack's newfound patience was being thoroughly tested.

Miranda tried not to smile as her lover burst into her quarters and fell face-first onto the bed with an exasperated groan.

"I hate kids," Jack mumbled into the duvet.

The decommissioned XO turned off the tablet she was working on and put it to one side. "What have they done now?"

Jack rolled over lethargically, an arm locked in place over her eyes. "They're just noisy and whiney. They're either hungry or bored or tired or upset 'cause some other brat called them stupid or stole their toys. Christ Miri, why are they never just satisfied!?" Her arm fell from her face and she levelled a desperate stare at Miranda.

Lawson perched on the edge of the bed and leant over Jack slightly so she could look into the other woman's tired eyes. "They feel all the same things we do Jack, but they just don't know how to take care of those things themselves yet."

"Uurgh," Subject Zero threw an arm back over her eyes. "I wish they wouldn't whine about it so much."

Miranda tried not to chuckle. Seeing the hardened criminal being worn down by a bunch of children was infinitely amusing, but she knew she wouldn't win any points for making fun of her lover. "You managed to deal with the Alliance kids," she pointed out after a short pause.

"They were practically adults," Jack countered stubbornly. "I could throw abuse at them when they pissed me off. Knocking them about a bit toughened them up."

Miranda scoffed. "It's a wonder the Alliance kept you on their payroll. Or did they not know you bullied their kids?"

Jack sat up, a serious and slightly offended expression on her face. "It wasn't like that. I just didn't let them cry about everything or stop to feel sorry for themselves when things got too tough."

"Tough love?" Lawson smiled to show that she understood what Jack was getting at.

"Sure," Jack shrugged. "If you wanna put it like that. I kept them alive, didn't I?"

"So why not employ the same philosophy with these kids?" Miranda asked as she began trying to help her fellow biotic unravel this problem.

"Rodriguez and the others didn't go through the same crap. Well apart from David maybe, but I never had any issues with him. Didn't work directly with him. Kid was scary smart and just got on with stuff." Zero was now sitting cross-legged on the bed. She felt vulnerable as she thought back to her escape from Pragia and how she'd reacted to people who threatened her even a little. She was beginning to feel pissed off with the tight-suited biotic next to her; she really hated delving into her past.

Miranda nodded again before Jack could continue. "They trust you and few others, and you're afraid you'll set them back if you start losing your temper with them." Their eyes met and Jack nodded, grateful for the chance to avoid explaining herself.

"That's about the gist of it." She sighed. "I feel like everyone thinks I should know what to do just 'cus I've experienced the same crap. I don't even like kids that much." She paused and thought about the selective mute who'd become her shadow. "Except the quiet one."

Miranda laughed softly. She was still occasionally surprised by the huge changes that Jack was going through. Every day the ex-convict took on new commitments and opened up a little more to the world and the 'normal' every day social niceties. "I thought you didn't care what anyone else thought about you."

Zero's eyebrows drew together as she came to the same conclusion that the old Jack would have crushed thoughts like 'they're expecting you to be good at this' with an iron fist. "Shit. This is Shepard's damn influence. She's such a pussy."

Miranda moved so she was kneeling behind her lover and began to help loosen the tension in her shoulders. "Jack I'm sure you can manage to be yourself without being seen as a tyrant." She felt the muscles under her fingers tense and relax as she continued to work at them. "You don't have to take crap from them just because they're kids. You can still call them on the stupid things they do and say. Just try different things 'till you find something you're comfortable with."

Jack sighed and tilted her head to catch blue eyes. She sometimes forgot how smart her girlfriend was. As a rule, Jack hated all the lovey-dovey crap that Shepard and Liara indulged in on a daily basis, but there were moments like this that she understood why people felt the need to dote on one another. Sex was her go-to method of thanking Miranda for anything. Perhaps for once she should try something different. "I'm not exactly an expert on 'big-talks', as you well know," she added cockily.

Miranda kneaded another knot a little harder than before and grinned triumphantly at the skinny biotic's suppressed yelp. "Be blunt, it's what you're good at. You don't have to lecture them with explanations and philosophy every time they get a little out of hand."

Jack thought about this silently as she relaxed into Miranda's touch. The way her lover explained it, it didn't sound so hard. She could do blunt and she could be firm. The only thing she worried about was going over-board and losing her temper. There would be a period of trial and error and they might even be back on Earth by the time she got it right but she wanted to make this work. Not for anyone else but for herself.

Finally putting all this from her mind, Jack turned in her lover's arms and hooked a leg either side of Miranda's to straddle her lap.

"I'm guessing we're done with the serious talks for now?" Miranda observed with an amused lilt to her tone. Her hands fell naturally to Jack's waist and her eyes travelled the smooth dips and curves of the ex-convict's skin with open appreciation.

Jack lifted her arms to wiggle out of her straps and gasped with pleasure when Miranda's hands immediately travelled north to cup her assets. "Fuck," she hissed. "Not unless you want to seriously talk about kinking up our bedroom routine."

"There's nothing 'routine' about going to bed with you Jack." Miranda took her time caressing, kneading and pinching, thoroughly enjoying the changing expressions on her girlfriend's features. "But if you really want, later we can revisit that brief conversation we had about toys."

Jack's desire-blackened eyes opened momentarily to stare at the XO's. "Princess, there ain't no way you're ever gonna get rid of me if you keep talkin' like that."

Miranda's hands halted in their ministrations and she quickly flipped them over. "Good," was all she said before lowering her body over Jack's and capturing her lips in a bruising kiss.


	15. Chapter 15

**Two chapters uploaded; make sure to read chapter 14!**

FIFTEEN  


A week had passed since the Normandy and had landed on Earth and powered down for the foreseeable future. The ship had been pulled in for maintenance so almost the entire crew had been ordered to fulfil their duties elsewhere. Only Joker, EDI and Samantha Traynor were asked to stay and oversee the operations. The Alliance hadn't mentioned what they had planned for the iconic ship yet, but as she was still very determined to retire and follow her partner back to Thessia, Shepard knew she wasn't likely to ever take command of the vessel again. It had been hard leaving it behind.

Liara had walked with her as she took one last tour of the Normandy and listened as Jane retold stories of lost and deceased crew members. There was a two minute silence in the MESS area as they sent their thoughts of fallen friends into the ether and even though technically she knew it wasn't the same ship, Shepard looked to the right of the door to what used to be the CO's room and pictured Kaidan standing there.

Shepard had parted ways with her partner as she had meetings with the admirals and Liara had wanted to supervise the transport of her Shadow Broker resources to their new temporary home.

After her meeting with the Council, Shepard was still feeling a little resentful at being asked to help out again; to spend her time trying to talk sense into a group of people who should know better, but she couldn't bring herself to refuse the request, so somewhat reluctantly she had taken up the podium in the centre of what remained of Trafalgar Square and addressed the entire human race.

"_Today I am addressing my fellow humans. The eyes of the galaxy are on us. The war may be over, but a new struggle has begun. We're all tired, hungry and grieving. We've had enough of being frightened; of being controlled. We're at our most vulnerable and yet it isn't our galactic neighbours that we should be concerned about. It's us._

"_We humans have a long history of violence and oppression. When we're scared we fight, and when we fight through fear, we end up hurting our own kind. We fight our own humanity in order to survive._

"_Humanitarianism? What does it mean? The dictionary defines it as: the doctrine that __humanity's__ obligations are concerned wholly with the welfare of the __human__race__._

"_Cerberus believed they were humanitarians; 'wholly concerned with the welfare of the human race'. An organisation led by one man with a vision; aided by a few ruthless xenophobes and hundreds, if not thousands, of misguided individuals. By their definition we must be on the right track. We're oppressing the weak, torturing those who stand against us, hoarding supplies for the benefit of a few._

"_Throughout our history we have many examples of humanity failing to care; failing to live up to our best potential. Yet there have been individuals who've stood up for the downtrodden and demanded that we better ourselves. Today, I want to be that individual. I stand before you and implore you to challenge the definition of the humanitarian. Let it not stand for humans alone. We defeated the Reapers not because we were stronger or more intelligent than any civilisation that came before us, but because we stood together, in the face of prejudice and fear, we stood together, united as a galaxy to challenge the status quo._

"_Take a good look around you. The streets are rife with fear and corruption. Neighbours are fighting against one another and turning a blind eye to those in need of help. There are countless allies orbiting our planet, pleading to offer us their assistance and yet our fear stops us from reaching out._

"_We are defined, not by the labels we give each other, but by our actions. Now's the time to look in the mirror; what do our actions say about us? Now's the time to define who we are!_

"_So say no to corruption, no to selfishness and greed. Don't let yourselves be one of the misguided. Fight back against fear!"_

The speech hadn't been long or particularly eloquent and she had no idea if anyone would listen to her, but it had been from the heart and her honest opinion so she was happy that she'd tried.

As she thought back on the last week the Commander walked towards what was left of Alliance HQ. During the month since the end of the Reaper war, building and maintenance had been working their fingers to the bone trying to make everyday life function at a fraction of what it once had. There was evidence of their efforts everywhere, but with half of the building missing and clean-up crews still down in the street, the Commander knew that their military effectiveness would take a long while yet before it was up to scratch.

Shepard found Admiral Hackett's office with very little effort and was told by the clerk to go straight inside.

"Shepard," the admiral stood and grasped her hand in a friendly shake, ignoring her formal salute. "I'm glad you managed to find the Normandy and your crew. I know some of the other admirals weren't keen on you leaving while we still didn't quite understand this business of controlling the reapers, but I knew you would make it work, somehow."

Shepard smiled sheepishly, remembering the ultimatum she had not so subtly threatened them with if they refused to give her the resources to go. "As always admiral, I appreciate your faith in me."

He gestured for her to take a seat and regained his place behind the desk. His face took on a solemn expression as he leant forward on his elbows. "Is it true, you found another Cerberus biotic camp?"

Shepard nodded, allowing the anger she'd tried to hide in the face of her crew to burn through. "A scouting party ran into a bunch of their soldiers. They got Liara," she added in a dangerous undertone. She felt the urge to confide in him further, but the less people who knew about her lover's failed pregnancy the better it was for all involved. He was the closest thing she had to a father these days and it chaffed to have to hide things from him.

"How is she?" he enquired with genuine concern.

"She still has nightmares occasionally, but she insists on reminding me that it's hardly the worst thing she's ever had to endure." _Though losing your unborn child has to come close to losing your lover. _"Mostly I think she just wants to forget the whole thing."

"Losing you was difficult for all of us. Your mother took voluntary leave for the first time since I've known her. As for Dr. T'Soni, for a long time she just fell off the grid; none of your friends could tell me where she was or what she was doing. The first I heard of her after your death was a report of a street fight with a salarian mercenary on Omega."

"The Shadow Broker, a yahg, was trying to sell my body to the Collectors," Shepard told her superior, though she suspected that he knew that by now.

"Yes I had a report of that nature. He was a yahg? Interesting."

"And ugly," the Commander joked, trying to turn the topic to something lighter. "The new one's much more attractive."

Hackett smiled with her, taking her hint. "Yes, you're a very lucky woman Jane. Well I suppose we'd better get down to business. I set up this meeting with the other admirals to discuss the impact of your speech and any further developments with the Council. But first, I have a surprise for you." He looked over her shoulder towards the door.

The Commander automatically followed his gaze and felt her jaw drop when her eyes fell on the figure before her. "Mom?"

Admiral Shepard stood as straight as she could manage while she leaned heavily against a black cane. Her right arm was in a sling and Jane could see one or two new scars on that all too familiar face, but it was the emotion filled smile that really caught the Commander's attention.

"I thought I'd better take Stephen's advice to see you while you're at headquarters or I'd never get a moment to congratulate the great Commander Shepard," Hannah teased her only child.

The newly crowned hero blushed. "It's just Jane to you."

"Well, Just Jane, come and give your mother a hug." The admiral held her cane-arm out slightly and wrapped it around her daughter as best she could. "I'm still pissed that you didn't bother to tell me that you were alive… again," she scolded in her best motherly tone, causing a very sheepish look to appear on the Commander's face. "But I'm so proud of all you've done. Your father would be too, were he here."

Jane leant in for another hug so she could hide the tears that suddenly sprang to her eyes. "Thanks mom."

"Hannah's going to sit in on this meeting if you don't mind Commander?" Hackett asked once they were seated once more at the desk.

"No, it'll be nice to have more than one person in my corner amongst the people in charge," as soon as the words were out of her mouth she turned an apologetic expression on her mother. "Not that I expect you to agree with everything I say just because you gave birth to me."

Hannah tried not to laugh as she was reminded of a much younger Jane Shepard. "Well, that's very gracious of you Commander, I'll be sure to remember that."

They chatted amiably for another five minutes before an alarm sounded to remind Hackett that the meeting was about to start. On the far side of the room were half a dozen holo-pads; four of which were awaiting activation. Hackett led the Shepards over and pressed a button on his Omni-tool to allow the other four admirals to join the meeting.

* * *

Shepard sat opposite her mother in the admiral's private dining area, nursing a beer as she and Hannah caught up. Jane couldn't help wishing that she had some more of the brandy she'd been drinking not too long ago, but Liara had convinced her to donate her last bottle to Dr. Chakwas and promise to give up hard liquor for the foreseeable future. Conversations with her mother were always awkward and being a little bit drunk would have gone a long way to helping the commander through this one.

The topics started off forced and generic; updates on fellow service men, news about new ships and technology that would supposedly make their jobs easier. Just as Jane was beginning to wish that she would be summoned for an emergency of some sort, her mother sighed and slouched back in her chair, wincing slightly as her sling pulled tight around her shoulder.

"We've never really been any good at this mother-daughter stuff, have we?" Hannah admitted as she adjusted her sling.

Jane straightened in her seat as if she had suddenly realised that she was supposed to look attentive and interested, but her posture soon slumped again. "Not really, no. Since dad died we've sort of just both gone our own way."

"Yes," Hannah whispered solemnly. "It was a long time before I realised that I'd stopped being a mother to you." She stared down at her hands, looking nothing like the forbidding admiral that Jane knew she was. "It's amazing really how easy it is to use our professional responsibilities to avoid our personal ones," she added regretfully. "Yet somehow you managed to turn out well. I must have done something right," the admiral concluded hopefully.

Jane reached across the table and found her mother's free hand. "You did mom. There have been many times in my life when I've wanted to give up and fall into oblivion, but all I had to do was remember all those talks we had when I was a kid and I knew that I had to keep going."

Hannah smiled but knew she couldn't accept any accolades that her daughter might be trying to offer her. "Your father and I might have given you a few thoughts to fall back on, but you were the one who had to take those leaps of faith." Their hands parted as they both leant back in their chairs. "I can only hope now that as far as your personal life goes you can learn something from my mistakes. I've heard through the grape vine that you and Dr. Tsoni are quite serious."

The commander couldn't help the blush that crept over her cheeks. It had been a hell of a long time since she'd discussed any relationship of hers with her mother. "I, er... Liara is..." she sighed and laughed at herself. "I love her. As soon as I get a minute to myself I'm going to have to do some research on asari gestation." She grinned sheepishly as the expression on the admiral's face changed from confused to understanding then finally admonishing.

"Is that any way to tell your mother she's going to be a grandparent?"

Jane continued to blush and glow with happiness as she filled her mother in on her courtship with the Prothean expert and their plans for the future. They spent a good hour together before the Admiral announced that she had to leave and they made plans to meet before the Commander left the system for her new home.

* * *

After three days of reassuring the politicians and acquiring permission from the brass to allow select teams of aliens to offer aid to certain areas of Earth, Jane had sat down with her most trusted soldiers and comrades to work out how to put her and Liara's ideas into action.

During her meeting with Hackett and her mother she'd been told that a few of her missing crew members had finally crawled out of the rubble and had made contact with their local infirmaries, where they had made a nuisance of themselves until the doctors agrees to release them back into active duty.

Ashley and James were heading up a team each, which gave Shepard a sense of confidence that at least someone was capable of keeping order on the streets of London.

Currently she, Miranda and Jack were escorting their remaining underage biotics to a refugee facility that still had spaces available. The inner-city facilities had filled up fast but Shepard hadn't been concerned about that. With the chaos that was increasing between groups in the streets she preferred to place their kids somewhere quieter. Their destination in question was more rural in an area just east of London, in Kent.

"Hey Shepard," Jack turned again to the Commander. "You sure about this?"

The building they were steadily approaching had taken a lot of damage during the Reaper attack and looked like it was ready to fall down.

"I'm not sure about anything at this point," Shepard answered, regretting the unfortunate fact that she couldn't reassure her friend of something as simple as a child's safety. "Hackett assured me that this is the best facility with any room left."

Jack huffed and folded her arms across her chest. "It looks like one good sneeze would bring it crashing down. I've slept under boxes that looked more inviting."

Shepard glanced back at the remaining biotic kids they were trying to find shelter for. The situation was dire. As was common during war time, many families in the cities had shipped their children into the country where there was more chance of their precious offspring surviving. Now with so many of their parents dead and supplies running low, humans were being forced to corral the next generation like cattle so the vastly reduced number of adults could effectively care for them.

Miranda volunteered to stay with their small cargo of homeless strays while her girlfriend and the commander marched towards the make-shift orphanage to investigate. The two marines stationed at the entrance recognised the commander at once and snapped to attention. Jack sniggered to herself, still amused about the exorbitant amount of attention Shepard got. She'd seen the woman drunk off her ass reciting sonnets to her blue babe who, though appreciative of the sentiment, had been clearly embarrassed and not a little bit confused. The galaxy's hero was just like anyone else and it struck Jack as comical that everyone now worshipped her like a god.

"Fuck Shepard, they'll be knocking together statues of you before long," Jack joked as they passed inspection and strode inside.

The Commander sighed a little with relief as she looked around. The Alliance had obviously chosen to forgo improvement to the outside in favour of ensuring the structural integrity from the inside. It also appeared as if someone had chipped in with the interior design as there were pleasant transitions of colour between rooms, though whoever had done the decorating had managed this with little more than a basic coat of military grey and some sheets made into tapestries.

In charge of the facility was an aging couple who had once been owners of a seafood restaurant near the mouth of the Thames and had taken refuge with their eldest child near Ipswich during the invasion. They had returned as soon as the news had reached them that the war was over and had volunteered their skills to oversee the running of this orphanage.

Mrs. D'Oily and her husband led the Commander and Jack around a spacious dining area annexed by an expanded kitchen, through a playroom and relaxation room to the dormitories. As they stepped into the first girls' room Subject Zero's immediate reaction was to throw a grenade into the room and run. There were no locks or two-way mirrors, but the complete sterility they were faced with was very reminiscent of the Teltin facilities.

"It's a little bare," Shepard offered diplomatically. She had seen the biotic's reaction clearly through her peripheral vision and was concerned that their kids would find it equally alarming.

Mr. D'Oily was stood just behind them and nodded in agreement. "Nobody's been in this room yet, but when you see those that are occupied you'll notice a big difference."

"We encourage the children to decorate their rooms with whatever possessions they've brought with them or what little we've salvaged from the local residences," their other host added to her husband's observation. "We've found that it helps the children to feel more settled when they've had personal input."

Shepard nodded in understanding, but looked to her companion for an opinion on what they should do.

"I don't know Shepard. If it was me, I'd run like hell."

"What if we could decorate before they saw it?"

Jack shrugged. "Might work," she conceded. "Not like we got a lot of other options."

"True." Shepard took one last look around and finally made her decision.

They led a confused couple back through the facility to the entrance, where the Commander parted company with the ex-con. In the D'Oilys' small office she sat down to hammer out the finer points and to explain to the couple the situation with their charges.

With Liara, EDI and Miranda on the case, they had managed to find contacts for all but seven of their sixteen biotics. Harry's now post-adolescent brother had become the head of his household, but hadn't hesitated to welcome his young sibling back with open arms and a lot of tears. Anne and Rik had stuck together like glue and had taken Jack's advice on volunteering to train with the Alliance and help other Refugees. The four others had been released into the custody of parents and extended family and all had been referred to trauma counselling for support with their experiences.

By the time Shepard had returned to their transport her last minute plan was already in action. She jumped into the vehicle with her usual cat-like grace, arriving just in time to catch the end of another one of Jack's action-packed battle stories.

"… so the cheerleader here lifts his ass in the air, Shepard peppers him with ammo then he slams back into the ground, probably breaking every bone in his useless body."

The kids all grin a little and Jane is sure that her team mate must be talking about a Cerberus soldier. "Is this the sort of bed time reading I can expect if I ever decide to let you baby-sit, Jack?"

"I think that would be the least of your worries Shepard," Miranda piped up, earning her a playful shove from her once again lover.

"So what's the what? We droppin' them off here or not?" the ex-con asked, as tactless as ever.

The Commander looked around at all the anxious and hopeful faces and offered them all a reassuring smile. She took a seat between two of the youngest kids and leant her forearms on her knees in a relaxed pose.

"Ok guys, I know we've talked about this a bunch of times, but this is the part where we're going to say goodbye. This is going to be your new home for a while. It might not look like much from the outside, but that's because they've put all their effort into making it awesome on the inside, and a heluva lot better than any military cabin," she added, trying to relieve some of the tension with a joke. A few nervous giggles broke out, but they quickly died away.

"Jack and I will take them if you want to report in Shepard?" The Commander nodded at this, appreciating her friend's efficiency. "Let's go then guys," Miranda and Jack led six young biotics from the truck, only stopping when they both realised that they were missing one.

Jack sighed and motioned for the XO to carry on without her. "I'll catch up," she assured her lover.

Realising immediately who was AWOL, Miranda simply nodded and continued on towards the orphanage with her charges in tow.

Zero climbed back in the now seemingly empty trailer and slouched next to a suspiciously lumpy pile of blankets. She poked at it a few times, eventually getting a small squeak from it. She chuckled to herself and grabbed a fistful of material before pulling it off the skinny girl's head. A pair of defiant hazel eyes stared back at her and Jack's smile faded.

"I know every trick there is to not being seen, so there's no point hiding from me. Now get your ass off this truck," she ordered gently.

"No," Penny whispered firmly. Her decision to not talk to anyone was slowly being relaxed around her tattooed mentor so that her daily word count was almost in double figures.

"So what you gona do then? We've all been kicked off the ship. Where are you gona live?" A timid hand pointed right at her and Jack's heart jumped a little. "With me?" she asked which was followed by a hopeful nod.

Jack was torn. She had bonded more with this reticent child than anyone else in her life. Certainly more than with her Alliance students and possibly even more than Miranda, though it was difficult to judge as the feelings were so different and she had no previous experience of either. The thought of taking the kid home with her, wherever the Alliance decided to put her up, was tempting. However, it was a huge responsibility and though there were a dozen responsible people around her she was worried that she would manage to fuck it up somehow.

"Kid, I can barely take care of myself most days. I swear, drink and pick fights. I'm not mommy material and you deserve people who're gona take care of you." She sighed at the dejected expression on the girl's face, but pushed on. "It's pretty nice in there; clean and comfy with your own bed and kids your own age around. How about just giving it a try? We'll be checking up on you like Shepard said so if you really hate it we'll try something else."

"Ok," she agreed with subdued resignation.

The ex-con squeezed the slender hand in hers like the girl's words had tightened around her heart. She lifted her down from the back of the truck and led her inside with a gnawing feeling of regret in her stomach.


End file.
